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Entries Tagged as 'college life'

Trash talk

April 27th, 2010 · 93 Comments

I’m sure these ladies thank their lucky stars every day that they have each other as roommates. Wouldn’t you?


related: Your trash stinks. Grow up, thanks.

Tags: apostrophe abuse · college life · garbage · mean girls · Orlando · roommates · that's disgusting · whiteboard

Passive-Aggressive Kitchen-Sink Poetry

April 23rd, 2010 · 116 Comments

So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?

Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?

Their Sink, My Sink, Your Sink It's against our wishes if you soak your dishes cause the sink's not a soaking place. Quick! Scrub 'em clean-make 'em really gleam. Watch a 'thank you!' smile appear on every face. So don't walk away- don't soak it- just clean it! (Wash it right now! You can finish in a minute!) Cause it's not just your sink, it's their sink and my sink. Please be considerate.  Don't clutter the sink by leaving your items to soak. THANK YOU!

Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?

A Poem  Wash your dishes It's not that hard You weren't born in a barn Or a stable, or a yard  The sink is too small To have dishes build up It's really not complicated  To wash a small cup  Your housemates aren't your servants Or your keepers, or your mothers Those who wash their own things Needn't worry about the others  When there's only one of something Please keep that in your mind In the sink and dirty Makes things really hard to find  We know we love each other That's nothing to deny So wash your freaking dishes Or I'll stab you in the eye :)

Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?

Please be a dear and do your dishes here for if you do not, the house will be wrought with people dismayed by the mass that's displayed and hence are not able  to dine at the table for lack of clean wishes  restricts their good wishes

Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.

Soaking Cup Haiku  Dried flecks of cat food Circling the rim of the cup Oh - it's your oatmeal.

related: Scatological Poetry Slam

Tags: Atlanta · clip art catastrophe · college life · D.C. · dishes · office · pure poetry · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · TL;DR · Winston-Salem

Your “Brown Friends”

April 13th, 2010 · 106 Comments

At first glance, would you assume that the the writer of this note….

a) is kind of a racist prick?

b) has a thing against students/alumni from a certain university in Providence, R.I.?

c) has a penchant for using confusing euphemisms for bodily waste?


I’ll admit I assumed the answer was either a or b, until I read the submitter’s explanation about where the note was found: above the stinky toilet in a share house of (mostly male) British university students.

The verdict: Still offensive, just, you know, in a different way.

related: 2 notes, 1 cupcake

Tags: anthropomorphism · college life · shit · thx · toilet · U.K.

Completely valid rebuttals

March 30th, 2010 · 103 Comments

More proof that — no matter how in the right you are — writing a note about it makes you kind of an airhose, too. Especially if you’re using Comic Sans.

From Elizabeth at CMU in Pittsburgh:

Do you leave annoying notes in the hall? You just might be self-righteous.

And from Drake at BYU in Provo, Utah:

DO NOT LEAN ON AIRHOSE!!! DON'T USE COMIC SANS!!! Better than Papyrus. TrueBetter than Papyrus. True

related: Please pickup your prints pomptly

extra credit: The man behind Comic Sans []

Tags: college life · Comic Sans Alert · door-slamming · most popular notes of 2010 · rebuttals · Utah

Do you feel inspired now?

March 18th, 2010 · 198 Comments

At our submitter’s college dorm in Lexington, Kentucky, one of the RAs posts an inspirational quote on the bathroom door each week. When one of the residents questioned why those “thoughts/encouragements” always happened to come from the Bible, the RA responded with a new source of inspiration.

You know, the Bible isn't the only place to get inspiration quotes FYI.

related: No bread and circuses! But maybe an ice cream social?

Tags: college life · Lexington · note wars · RA

Socializing: You’re doing it wrong

February 10th, 2010 · 105 Comments

You know how it’s usually way easier to write off someone off as an annoying asshole than it is to feel sorry for them? But then something happens — like this whiteboard note — and suddenly, you feel like the asshole…but you still resent the person for making you feel that way. And now it’s just awkward all around, because that person doesn’t want pity from an asshole like you, anyway. Sigh.

My parents think I am not being social enough. I have LOTS of chocolate. The ball is in your court now!

This note makes me sad, so I will choose to deal with these uncomfortable feelings by blaming the parents, even though I know that isn’t fair either. Now I feel sorry for the parents, too. Okay, I’m going to look at more pictures from the Puppy Bowl now.

related: Your one and only Wife #1

Tags: bad sales pitch · college life · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · whiteboard

’Bama bombs

January 7th, 2010 · 81 Comments

Tripp was visiting his friend’s dorm at the University of Alabama when he spotted this note from the floor’s RA posted on the door to the men’s bathroom.

Adds Tripp: “I’m with the person who added on to the note. A bunch of teenage boys probably aren’t going to be spending that much time hocking loogies at the shower walls.” To which I would add: “Ewww, gross.”

Are you sure it's spit?

P.S. Hook ’em Horns!

related: Who takes a crap in the shower?!

Tags: Alabama · college life · RA · shower · that's disgusting

The Trans-Hadean Orchestra

December 22nd, 2009 · 201 Comments

At college, more often than not, your sex life is everybody’s business. But don’t worry…it’s for your own good! For example, the writer of this first note (as spotted by Ashley at Missouri State) displays a heartwarming concern for her dorm-mate’s physical safety.

You and your boyfriend need to tone down the devil's orchestra that EVERYONE could hear in the middle of the day! Save yourself the embarassment. Sincerely, Someone who is hoping you use protection

And as Vic and his friends at Arizona State’s Barrett Honors College discovered, a group calling themselves “the Gods of ASU” has even deeper concerns….the fate of your everlasting soul!!!

It's getting pretty nippy outside, but don't keep warm with PRE-MARITAL SEX or you'll have plenty of heat IN HELL! Be righteous, Barrett.

related: “I know that it’s really none of my business, but…I’m going to tell you what I think anyway.”

Tags: Arizona · college life · Jesus · Missouri · MYOB · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback

I hope you get money from everybody!

December 18th, 2009 · 138 Comments

“In college,” Sandy writes, “I shared a house with a motley group of roomies. When it was time for me to graduate, my super-kooky roommate suggested I send her parents a graduation announcement because they had liked me a lot (having met me once, for a few hours) and would feel insulted if I didn’t send them an announcement. I had a few left over, so I did.”  A while later came this response – not passive-aggressive per se, but a little, well…

Dear Sandy, I hope I spelled your name right. [redacted] + me + [redacted] talked about what to do, and $25 came up. So here you go. I hope you get money from everybody! Congratulations on your graduation!

Adds Sandy: “The assumption of my attempt to grub money coupled with the cheerfully airy tone really speaks volumes about the environment in which my old roomie grew up. (Incidentally, she DID spell my name right.)”

P.S. Yes, that’s $25, not $125.

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

Tags: college life · Moms & Dads · money · not so much passive-aggressive · Say wha? · signed with love

My parents, the loan sharks

December 15th, 2009 · 90 Comments

Writes Josh in St. Louis: “In our university’s paper, during the first semester, parents can send in notes for their kids away at college to read. Most parents put something sweet, happy, and uplifting — ‘We love you, good luck, hope you’re well,’ that kind of thing.”  Josh’s parents, meanwhile…

No parents to bore you, or brothers to bug, it's just you, the iPod, computer and rug. All right!! still owe us $185 for prom night.

related: No money, no trophy

Tags: college life · Moms & Dads · money · newspaper · public shaming · pure poetry · St. Louis