Entries Tagged as 'unsolicited feedback'

This is a hereby declared a gluten-free breakroom!

February 27th, 2012 · 64 Comments

Heidi says what started off as a simple request turned into a whiteboard snark-off at the natural foods store where she works in (where else?) Portland.

Can we get a bagel slicer for the breakroom, please? i.e. a knife? bagels are bad for you eat your green beans instead.

[FIXED]

Put a bird on it!

related: Your punishment for forgetting your reusable bags

extra credit: Day in the Life of a Passive-Aggressive Vegan Grocery Store Clerk [mcsweeneys.net]

Tags: food · Oregon · Portland · unsolicited feedback

Sorry I hit your car, but whatever, it’s a tacky piece of crap anyway

July 27th, 2011 · 42 Comments

Explains our submitter in North Carolina: ”My friend walked out to the parking lot to find a big dent and a sticky note on her car, which still had some writing on it from her recent birthday.” And while the driver didn’t just dent-and-dash, the fact that he or she didn’t bother to leave a name/plate/policy number — just an entirely unnecessary postscript — made the whole situation a less-than-satisfying belated birthday surprise.

Sorry I hit your car, you can call my insurance and sort it out [phone number redacted]. P.S. You should clean this writing off your fucking car.

related: I dinged your car, but you kind of deserved it.

Tags: car · non-apology apology · p.s. · Raleigh · unsolicited feedback

I super duper hope you go screw yourself!

July 18th, 2011 · 104 Comments

During Diana’s lunch break one day, a concerned coworker apparently decided to seize the opportunity to let her know — anonymously, of course — that the state of her cubicle was too much too handle. Even more obnoxiously, Diana says, “He or she actually just opened up Word and typed this note on my computer.”

To top it all off, Diana insists her workstation was hardly a disaster area to begin with. “The only things on my desk at the time were my computer, a few pieces of paper, and a coffee mug.”

Hey, Diana, Your workstation is really messy. It makes all of us look bad when you just can’t pick up after yourself. No need to get sloppy! Even if you are used to it after hours, there’s no need to bring bad habits into your cubicle. I super duper hope you’re enjoying your lunch! Thanks so much, A concerned co-worker

related: Can you please walk quieter?

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Kansas · office · office cop · unsolicited feedback

See, this is why people hate vegans.

July 6th, 2011 · 788 Comments

“When I moved in a year ago, my roommate was an ovo-lacto vegetarian, whereas I was (and still am) an omnivore,” explains our submitter in Brooklyn. “She used to not care about my eating habits, but about four months ago she decided to become a full-blown vegan and has been insufferable since then. Yesterday I went food shopping for myself, and when I came back from work today I found this letter on my bedside table.”

(Yeah, the writing is a little hard to read — just wait for the page to load completely, and then click the images below to enlarge.)

I have to be blunt with you.

Why do you buy SO MUCH meat?

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!

Tags: and that's an order · Brooklyn · food · most popular notes of 2011 · roommates · self-righteous vegans · TL;DR · unsolicited feedback

I am embarrassed for you!

June 22nd, 2010 · 62 Comments

If the writer of this public service announcement had Angela‘s gall, she would have printed up flyers and handed them out to offenders in person. Instead, she (and yes, I’m making the outrageous assumption here that it’s a she) just posted it in the elevator of her Columbia University dorm…without spell-checking her work first. People, seriously?

Unless, of course, this was all part of a larger prank pairing the phone number of some unsuspecting victim with this oh-so-compelling pitch (“learn how this will improve your LIFE + GRADES”) and placing it within easy firing range of drunk college students. Then, well…then you’d be an even bigger arsehole.

People, Seriously! You Dress Like SLOBS I am embarrassed For You! [Phone number redacted] (when calling, always begin with reading the sign) Questions on how to dress better and to learn how this will improve your LIFE + GRADES

related: A little advice for the ladies

Tags: attire · bad sales pitch · college life · New York · spelling and grammar police · Too good to be real? · unsolicited feedback

Biebermania claims another innocent victim

April 15th, 2010 · 126 Comments

“My grandmother has been telling my brother that his hair is too long for forever now,” our submitter in Texas writes, “and whenever she criticized his long hair, he’d tell her it was ‘in style.’”  Hello, loophole! Today Grandma left this clipping on the fridge for her grandson to find.

Seth-This was the boy's cut that is supposed to be the 'IN-CUT' now. Why don't you try it & surprise me while I'm gone!

(By the way, if you’ve managed to avoid contact with the tween set lately and had no idea that this Justin Bieber character is supposedly “the world’s biggest pop star” — you’re not alone.)

And Grandma, if Seth doesn’t take the hint, maybe you’ll have to try Star Magazine‘s trick?

related: The overly-friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the door for her that one time

extra credit: Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber

The Justin Bieber Guide for Old People [gawker.com]

Justin Bieber’s “hair trick” [youtube]

Tags: a matter of taste · family · Grandma · hair · Texas · unsolicited feedback · visual aids

Ford Motor Company’s interesting new guerilla marketing campaign

April 6th, 2010 · 66 Comments

Who needs a “Powertrain warranty”? According to this Connecticut notewriter, if you buy a Ford, you get a lifetime worth of diplomat-worthy parking privileges!

Inconsiderate Driver,  You drive a piece of shit CHEVY that doesn't even deserve one parking spot, let alone two. It would be greatly appreciated if you only took up one parking spot, or simply bought a FORD b/c Chevys suck. Thanks :)

Confession: I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 27. I am a terrible parker. (I am slow, but I try.) If only I had bought a Ford!

related: The Mini Cooper owner’s dilemma — “Save the earth, kill the kids?!

extra credit: “Chevy” [urbandictionary.com]

Tags: car · Connecticut · parking · smiley · unsolicited feedback

And Jesus said: “Duhhh”

April 4th, 2010 · 118 Comments

Just one more special Easter note for you, kids. (Then I’m off to the drugstore to see if I can score any half-price Cadbury Mini Eggs.)

This one comes from Ray in Mount Vernon, Ohio, who said it was left on his wife’s windshield a while back, in response to a bumper sticker on her car that reads “What Would Buddha Do?”

Budda can't Do any-thing. He is still in the grave. Jesus rose from the grave. He is alive. Duhhh

Alrighty then. Back to your pagan traditions!

related: but He took the wheel

Tags: car · Ohio · unsolicited feedback

Save the earth…kill the kids?

March 3rd, 2010 · 163 Comments

“I have no traces of child paraphernalia in my Mini Cooper,” says our submitter from Alexandria, Virginia — and she didn’t buy her car for environmental reasons. (“I bought it because I’m a Mini fan,” she says, “regardless of the global impact.”) So, as you might imagine, she was more than a bit puzzled to find this note under her wiper blade.

I hope you don't put Children in This Thing. Save the earth?) Kill the Kids!? Brilliant!

related: Herbie Goes to Washington

Tags: car · Northern Virginia · pure poetry · The Earth · unsolicited feedback · WTF?

Spoken like someone who has never tried to take a one-year-old shopping

February 15th, 2010 · 307 Comments

Alex and his wife, Kathy, have an 18-month-old son who, among other his hobbies, enjoys pulling off his socks and shoes at any opportunity. (Perhaps he’s a future marathon-running superathlete. Or, you know, a normal 18-month-old.)

Recently, Kathy took her son with her on a trip to the store in their hometown of Las Vegas (temperature: a bone-chilling 64 degrees). When she came back to the car, she found this helpful bit of parenting advice waiting on her windshield.

How can you bring your kids out without shoes or socks!! It's not summer!! I see you have on shoes socks + long sleeves! Stop being a lazy ass mom!!

related: Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids · Moms & Dads · shoes · unsolicited feedback