Entries Tagged as 'unsolicited feedback'

Spoken like someone who has never tried to take a one-year-old shopping

February 15th, 2010 · 307 Comments

Alex and his wife, Kathy, have an 18-month-old son who, among other his hobbies, enjoys pulling off his socks and shoes at any opportunity. (Perhaps he’s a future marathon-running superathlete. Or, you know, a normal 18-month-old.)

Recently, Kathy took her son with her on a trip to the store in their hometown of Las Vegas (temperature: a bone-chilling 64 degrees). When she came back to the car, she found this helpful bit of parenting advice waiting on her windshield.

How can you bring your kids out without shoes or socks!! It's not summer!! I see you have on shoes socks + long sleeves! Stop being a lazy ass mom!!

related: Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids · Moms & Dads · shoes · unsolicited feedback

You need some help

February 2nd, 2010 · 147 Comments

On a lark, Michelle in Florida posted a profile on the online dating site OKCupid after taking one of the site’s quizzes late one night, allowing the site to pull most of her interests and whatnot from Facebook.

“I didn’t think anything more of it,” she says, that is, until she got this “helpful” message — apparently one adjunct university professor’s idea of a charming conversation starter.

Hi, No no, I'm not writting to insult you. I just mean, your profile is very...well, illogical. The picture is nice, I like the lipstick. But the self-description is completely unclear. Then, in the end, all of a sudden you say something very straight forward and to the point, about wanting to talk to someone serious about a relationship. That conclusion is good, but it contrasts to the rest of your profile.  You sound good when you just say what you want. Why not do that consistently? I think you'll get better results that way.  Anyway, I hope I didn't offend you, I just wanted to be helpful.

related: Not-a-match.com

Tags: "helpful" advice · online dating · unsolicited feedback

The Trans-Hadean Orchestra

December 22nd, 2009 · 201 Comments

At college, more often than not, your sex life is everybody’s business. But don’t worry…it’s for your own good! For example, the writer of this first note (as spotted by Ashley at Missouri State) displays a heartwarming concern for her dorm-mate’s physical safety.

You and your boyfriend need to tone down the devil's orchestra that EVERYONE could hear in the middle of the day! Save yourself the embarassment. Sincerely, Someone who is hoping you use protection

And as Vic and his friends at Arizona State’s Barrett Honors College discovered, a group calling themselves “the Gods of ASU” has even deeper concerns….the fate of your everlasting soul!!!

It's getting pretty nippy outside, but don't keep warm with PRE-MARITAL SEX or you'll have plenty of heat IN HELL! Be righteous, Barrett.

related: “I know that it’s really none of my business, but…I’m going to tell you what I think anyway.”

Tags: Arizona · college life · Jesus · Missouri · MYOB · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback

Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right.

December 21st, 2009 · 136 Comments

Writes our submitter in Lexington, Kentucky: “One day, I updated my Facebook status to something about how no one in my city knows how to properly use a turning lane. The next day, I got this e-mail from my mom. She often makes similar judgments about what personality traits I should have because I’m ‘such a pretty girl.’”

Annoying? Sure. But aside from the irritating Momsian/Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty, I think I’m actually on Team Mom for this one. (Of course, had I received a similar e-mail from my own mom, I’d hardly be so clear-eyed. Such is the nature of the mother/daughter dynamic!)

Honey, I wish you wouldn't post such negative comments on Facebook. They come off kind of nasty and you're such a pretty girl.  Life's a bitch and we all have to deal with it so try to be more positive. Love, Mom

related: Living with an adolescent, abridged

Tags: e-mail · Facebook · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · signed with love · unsolicited feedback

Loose lips shrink hips?

November 9th, 2009 · 272 Comments

Our anonymous submitter from Herndon, Virginia and two of his friends — “all three of us on the large size” — were having lunch at a restaurant when a lady sitting nearby passed them this dear little note of encouragement.

Dear you! Excuse me 4 breaking in.  I'm sitting the next table to u.  My name is Angela.  I'm from Sofia, Bulgaria.  I'm Bulgarian, and American citizen too.  I gained 35 pounds since I got to the USA.  Please don't get hurt, but the (3) of U should loose weight.  I know it's hard.  It is certainly hard 4 me.  But U feel better afterwards, and validated and accomplished.  Best Angela

related: hey, fatty

Tags: "helpful" advice · culture clash · hey fatty · most popular notes of 2009 · unsolicited feedback

“Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts”

November 1st, 2009 · 329 Comments

Writes Mike in Provo, Utah: “This is a letter my friend Liz found on the windshield of her car during the time she was dating her now-husband. They framed the note, and now have it proudly displayed in their living room.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: nosy neighbors in provo, utah

related: A substance user and a player!

Tags: "helpful" advice · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2009 · MYOB · neighbors · Provo · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback · Utah

Textbook Dmitri

August 12th, 2009 · 184 Comments

K, so Court in Michigan met this guy out at a bar. He seemed harmless enough, but Court knew right he wasn’t her type. Still, she didn’t have the heart to give him a flat-out “no” when he asked for her number. (She couldn’t give him a fake one, either, ’cause he the did the “dial his number into the phone and call” thing.)

Says Court: “The first time he called, I talked to him and decided right then I definitely wasn’t interested.” By the end of the conversation, she figured he’d gotten the message…but then he kept calling. And then, texting. When she didn’t respond, Court says, “I assumed he’d take the hint…but I’m not too sure he did.” Um, yeah, you could say that.

Fine, be a bitch then!

related: Not a match

Tags: casual sexism · just not that into you · Michigan · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · text message · unsolicited feedback

One can only hope you won’t be giving the wedding toast

June 28th, 2009 · 85 Comments

At a recent wedding that Allison in Ealeigh, N.C. attended, the bride asked that, instead of signing a guestbook, wedding guests write their wishes for the couple on fabric squares that would later be made into a memory quilt. When Allison saw this one sitting on top, she couldn’t resist snapping a photo.

One can only hope you saved yourself for your wedding night

related: Taboo, the game of unsolicited douchebaggery

Tags: love & marriage · North Carolina · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback

Taboo: the game of unspeakable douchebaggery

May 17th, 2009 · 254 Comments

Simone in Austin says a coworker at her office invited several people over to a house for a game night, and helpfully distributed hand-drawn maps to help people find their way. Later that day, she found of those hand-outs back on her desk, along with the following bit of anonymous feedback. What a peach!

What is this? Haven't you heard of MapQuest?

related: Silent protest

extra credit: The Hand-drawn Maps Association

Tags: CAPS LOCK · just an asshole · office · unsolicited feedback

A day in the life of a crank

April 15th, 2009 · 172 Comments

What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!

Dear gar. sale persons: if you just put out signs, you would have no "early birds." Why advert. in Chronicle then say no early? Don't advert. there. Just put out signs. They'll come - but later. Wear earplugs.

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

Tags: awk abbrev · comma diarrhea · excessive underlining · garage sale · Houston · old folks · unsolicited feedback · You call that punctuation?