So far this  year, we’ve gotten no missing Baby Jesus reports. (Yet.) However, it looks like it’s still hard out there for a giant candy cane.

Just ask Anderson in Huntsville, Alabama:

Gina in New Philadelphia, Ohio:

The Bishop Family in Genoa, Nebraska:

or David in Florence, South Carolina:

related: The circle of Hell Dante forget to mention

While admiring the neighborhood’s holiday decorations with his family, our submitter in Denver came across this “bokeh of Christmas joy.”

Noticing a folder of photocopied flyers labeled “please take one,” our submitter did so, and while his daughter stared in awe at the abundance of LED-powered holiday cheer, he gawped at the Grinch-like screed that accompanied it.

related: Merry Christmas…with an emphasis on the “meh”

extra credit: How much does it cost to decorate your house with Christmas lights? [boingboing.net]

Jesse in Iowa says that the unisex bathroom at a local bar/coffee shop has long played host to a running debate about the need to raise or lower the toilet seat. Recently, another Sharpie-wielding sheriff stepped in with this contribution. My question: Was the writer a child, or a truck driver?

Meanwhile, Tom spotted this offensive leap of logic at a bar in Waco, Texas.

Of course, as Heather in Kentucky noticed, women can be just as offensive and illogical when it comes to their bathroom-stall musings.

For the really crude stuff, though, you’ve got to turn to a Canadian.

related: An artistic phallacy

extra credit: Public Toilet Survival Kit

Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)

(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)

related: Another four-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in

David spotted this oh-so-charming scene while cycling through the well-to-do area of Hampstead, London.

Adds David: “The completely knackered fence is in front of an overgrown plot and right next door to a well looked-after house (possibly owned by old folk who are convinced the neighbourhood has gone to ruin.”)

Meanwhile, Alison was a bit perplexed by this note (and the seemingly undisturbed hedge below) in West Hampstead. “I stared at the hedge for ages trying to work out what was wrong with it,” she says. “Finally I just took a picture and ran away.”

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

extra credit: An American’s Guide to Britishisms [effingpot.com]

Says Michael, of this note from the bulletin board of his college dorm: “It pretty much speaks for itself.”

related: Body hair is unsanitary!

extra credit: A brief survey of blatantly phallic art [flavorwire.com]

I asked our submitter if she might be able to snap another photo of this memo/notice — one without the ghostly reflection of the man in the wifebeater — but alas, she says, it has since been taken down and replaced with a new memo offering a $500 reward for information leading to the culprit still vandalizing the elevator.

And yet, now that I’ve spent a little time with this image (in all of its beautiful absurdity), I’ve come to feel that it just wouldn’t feel quite complete without wifebeater man. Because this, my friends, is a work of art.

related: Thx Sandra

(After all, once they’ve moved back home into their old bedrooms, they can just raid your liquor cabinet and sneak bills from your wallet, just like old times!)

Meanwhile, this note/social critique was spotted by James in downtown Iowa City, “amid dozens of bars and thousands of over-privileged young suburbanites.”

If, however, your entrepreneurial kiddos do decide to strike out their own, you might want to keep tabs on the Sudafed in the medicine cabinet. (Especially if “on their own” means “the room above the garage.”)

related: Your daughter is a substance abuser and a PLAYER!

In Ohio, one household tries the proactive approach to preventing Halloween thuggery:

(We’ll have to wait to hear back from our submitter Darcy to see if it worked.)

related: Jerk-o-lanterns

Heather saw this car parked in her Takoma Park, Maryland neighborhood, while Heather spotted the truck below in New Orleans. Perhaps Stephanie and Michael can form a support group with Rene Hall?

related: You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.