Rob in Dallas says this note appeared “after the martial arts ‘gym’ closed down unexpectedly.” (Full disclosure: I have no idea what “gym” is supposed to imply.)

P.S. I’m sure I’m not alone in picturing Hawkins like this:

related: Peter, professional tattoo artist and assistant instructor of Japanese swordsmanship

Steve in Los Angeles says his dog has been having some separation anxiety, typically crying for about 30 minutes to an hour after Steve leaves for work. He recently found this oh-so-helpful advice taped to his front door. (His response: “WTF?!”)

Steve, just to put things in perspective, you might want to take a look at the Chicago approach:

related: My bite is work than your bark

Writes our submitter, Iris: “East London’s Brick Lane is the city’s hipster epicenter. A nearby pub had clearly had enough of being flooded by ironic facial hair and cardigans.”

related: Unattended children will be shot.

extra credit: It’s Movember! 

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Visiting her friend’s apartment for the first time, Kristin in New York City couldn’t help but notice that the entryway was completely covered with ALL CAPS notes from the building’s landlord. Among her favorites was this meta-monstrosity.

Says Kristin: “I love how his tone is over-the-top aggressive, but his actual threat isn’t that scary, given that, as far as I could tell, he’s the only one putting up signs.”

Another of Kristin’s favorites was this one, about water usage. “I’m not sure how overuse of water in New York impacts people in Haiti, but OK!”

related: Love, the Landlord

The good news? Stealing sprinkles from this New Jersey yogurt shop won’t lead to eternal damnation!

Thanks to Lauren in Princeton, NJ for submitting!

related: Wrath of the Ancients

Kayla says this message was left in the dorm laundry room after a girl’s clothes disappeared.

(I can just see the snarky follow-ups now…”Awesome! Free goldfish!”)

related: To the asshole that stole all of my underwear…

“The Winston Salem Transit Authority posted this memo in their depressing, dingy, bus depot,” reports Bill in North Carolina. (The WSTA‘s new motto: “Kick ’em while they’re down!)

related: Your knees are pressing into my repressed rage

Roslyn in Houston found this note under her roommate’s windshield wiper just over a month after they both moved in. Puzzlingly, she says, “We do not own a rooster, nor have we ever seen or even heard one.”

(In that case, Roslyn, I’d tell your roommate’s boyfriend to pre-watch-out.)

related: Cock fight!