PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » whiteboard

Motivational posters for a down economy

Kerry — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 21:53:15 +0000

In a recession, how companies harness the power of positive thinking can get a little twisted.

In Roanoke, Virginia, for example, Seth says “an uptight lady I used to work with — who almost certainly used to be a hall monitor — wrote this motivational quote in the windowless trailer I shared with about 20 coworkers and a vindictive, micromanaging boss.”

When he eventually got laid off, Seth says, the company tried to get him to interview for a different position — but those inspiring words on the whiteboard set him straight. “I decided that imagining myself without a paycheck was not enough to keep me coming back to that acre of hell.”

Elsewhere in Roanoke, meanwhile, kitchen staff at this restaurant/bar are greeted by these empowering words every time they trudge through the doors.

And of course, nothing can top this classic:

Why can’t we all just get along?

Kerry — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:05:18 +0000

Hey, here’s some advice! If you’re looking to improve your relationships with your roommates, communicating through the erasable whiteboard might not be the most effective way to go.

(Above, from a sorority house in L.A.; below, from a shared apartment in Chicago.)

Trash talk

Kerry — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 23:05:42 +0000

I’m sure these ladies thank their lucky stars every day that they have each other as roommates. Wouldn’t you?

Socializing: You’re doing it wrong

Kerry — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:00:46 +0000

You know how it’s usually way easier to write off someone off as an annoying asshole than it is to feel sorry for them? But then something happens — like this whiteboard note — and suddenly, you feel like the asshole…but you still resent the person for making you feel that way. And now it’s just awkward all around, because that person doesn’t want pity from an asshole like you, anyway. Sigh.

This note makes me sad, so I will choose to deal with these uncomfortable feelings by blaming the parents, even though I know that isn’t fair either. Now I feel sorry for the parents, too. Okay, I’m going to look at more pictures from the Puppy Bowl now.

related: Your one and only Wife #1

Something to ponder

Kerry — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 02:52:29 +0000

Nathan in Norman, Oklahoma doesn’t know the writers of either of these notes, but when he saw this exchange on a fellow student’s drafting board in his architecture studio class, he knew it needed to be documented.

related: who’s the smartass?

The analog version of a Facebook wall post

Kerry — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 23:54:41 +0000

This note appeared on the whiteboard in Whitney’s dorm room the day after she got in a fight with her roommate, Ashley, and accused her of using her friends. The note was written by Ashley’s cousin, Angela, and while addressed to “Ash,” seems more directed at the room’s other resident.

More notes white (yuppie-ish) people leave

Kerry — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:00:50 +0000

Quelle horreur! “A good week after using my roommate’s microplane to grate parmesan, this note showed up on the fridge whiteboard,” writes Tori in (where else?) San Francisco. “Apparently microplanes are for ZESTING ONLY!”

(unless, of course, it’s a microplane zester/grater.)

related: notes white people leave

The Future Homeowners’ Association Presidents of America

Kerry — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 04:04:32 +0000

Complaining about how stores put up holiday decorations earlier and earlier every year is neck-and-neck with the over-or-under toilet paper debate for the title of “most tiresome pet peeve kept alive by syndicated newspaper advice columnists and lite-fm morning DJs.”

But if you want to get into some seriously self-righteous shit, just bring up “those people who keep their christmas lights up, like, all year.” Then, stand back.

Take, for example, this dorm hallway from South Dakota State University. “I walk by this room pretty much every day to go to class and the complaints on their whiteboard keep growing,” our submitter says. “I’m pretty sure they’re going to leave their Christmas decorations up for even longer now, just out of spite.”

related: A deep-seated issue

…or just Jewish.

Kerry — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 02:45:35 +0000

Writes Alex in Denver: “Last year, my roommate Luke got frustrated that our undecorated tree was still sitting in the basement on Christmas Eve. We decided to get retribution by moving the tree into his room.”

Happy Hannukah, everyone!

The silverware segregationist

Kerry — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:00:07 +0000

I’d say this whiteboard notice — from a student at Northwestern University in Evanston, illinois — is neck-and-neck with this for “most unnecessary and inappropriate analogy ever.”

‘Plex, by the way, refers to (in the words of our anonymous submitter, the note’s recipient) a Northwestern residence hall, Foster Walker Complex, “that’s full of disinterested seniors and minorities.”

(Sigh)

Change is on the way?

The sink half-empty

Kerry — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:48:53 +0000

Our anonymous submitter sneakily snapped a photo of the whiteboard at a friend’s house in Urbana, Illinois.

Three things your health teacher didn’t tell you about herpes

Kerry — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:47:56 +0000

(A Passiveaggressivenotes.com public disservice announcement)

1. From Portland, Oregon…

2. From Williamsburg, Virginia…

3. From Miami, Florida…

related: Come get some
extra credit: Herpes: it’s got New York by the balls [nymag.com]

News you can use

Kerry — Sun, 25 May 2008 18:07:27 +0000

The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be killing your children. Either way: proceed with caution.

Exhibit a) from roommate to roommate, Chicago

Exhibit b) from mother to daughter, Irving, Texas

Exhibit c) the pointed use of song lyrics in a Facebook status update

Exhibit d) stating the obvious

Shittiest secret admirer ever?

Kerry — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 18:26:31 +0000

“My roommate thinks I took her dry erase board when I was 40 miles away the week it was taken,” says an anonymous college student in Tampa, Florida. “She has been leaving me notes like this ALL YEAR.”

God help our poor submitter, but I’m nominating this crazy rainbow of a note for the passive-aggressive hall of fame. (Prize: a year’s worth of anger-management therapy?)