Entries Tagged as 'Won’t somebody think of the children?'

This sign now promotes poor problem-solving skills

July 24th, 2012 · 28 Comments

Sarah in Grand Rapids, Michigan says there are actually more words on this “replacement” lawn sign than there were on the original. Good thing the writer is putting those extra words to work for a good cause, huh?

This sign used to promote the Summer reading program for children until someone stole it

related: This flamingo has flown

Tags: Grand Rapids · Michigan · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

Mellon Collie and the Seasonal Sadness

October 29th, 2011 · 123 Comments

Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)

MESSAGE TO THE VANDAL WHO SMASHED UP THE PUMPKIN ON THIS PLOT: The pumpkin was intended for my 4 year old niece to carve at Halloween. She has spent the last 4 months watching it grow and is now understandable rather upset that you've smashed it for no apparent reason than to

(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)

related: Another four-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in

Tags: CAPS LOCK · guilt trip · Halloween · U.K. · vandalism · Won't somebody think of the children?

Today’s lesson: not-so-friendly letters

October 6th, 2011 · 62 Comments

As part of a lesson about civic responsibility, many teachers encourage their students to participate in letter-writing campaigns to Congress, the school board, the Mayor, or other public figures. (Thanks to the efforts of second-graders in Mission, Texas, for example, Texans can now proudly refer to tortilla chips and salsa as their official “state snack.”)

Meanwhile, this teacher in Ypsilanti, Michigan enlisted her 18 middle-school students in a cause even closer to home — her home, that is — by getting them each to write a persuasive letter asking her noisy neighbor to curb his all-night partying.

Dear Neighbor, Please Do not blast any music while my teacher is trying to sleep. If she doesn't get any sleep we won't be able to learn. And I will get in trouble with my parents. Please stop for the sake of my education. Sincerely, [redacted] student

related: An indignant middle-schooler speaks up

Tags: guilt trip · kids · music · neighbors · noise · schools & teachers · sleeping · that's unprofessional · Won't somebody think of the children? · Ypsilanti

THIS LOCKER ROOM IS A NUDITY-FREE ZONE

September 15th, 2011 · 183 Comments

“My kids take swim lessons at Tyler Junior College, and we have to go through the women’s locker room to access the pool,” writes Jennifer in Texas. “Something tells me that some of the ladies here in the Bible Belt don’t appreciate seeing their fellow females displaying the full glory of God’s creation, if you get my drift.”

Just because your nakedness is not uncomfortable for you does not mean that others have the same viewpoint. Let Us ALL RESPECT Each Other.

PLEASE DO NOT AIR DRY Some people (especially students & children) are more modest than others and we should all RESPECT each other.

USE a TOWEL to COVER they are FREE at the Front Desk..........Just Ask

And a shot of the whole scene…

To the Elderly Woman Standing Naked In the Locker Room In A Small Town

related: “Do Not Leave Bathing Suit in the House” (and other pool rules)

extra credit: The horrors of locker-room nudity [Salon.com]

Tags: "polite notice" · a matter of taste · blitzkrieg approach · most popular notes of 2011 · swimming pool · Texas · that's disrespectful · Won't somebody think of the children?

Feel free to express yourselves, breastfeeding working moms! (But maybe not quite so passive-aggressively?)

April 7th, 2011 · 205 Comments

First off: I’m 100% in favor of breastfeeding. A designated pumping room at the office? Awesome! (And in fact, federally mandated.) Pictures of cute babies? Love those, too!

But you know — and let’s just play devil’s advocate here for a moment —  I’m guessing some of the non-lactating folks you work with would be a bit more receptive to your message if you saved the guilt-tripping for your kiddos back home. Because, as the sign reads now, says one of your coworkers: “All it does is make me want to use THAT room for every phone call.”

Does this baby deserve dinner? This room is reserved for nursing moms. Please choose another room for phone calls. Need help finding another room? Ask at Reception.

related: Feel free to starve me, but not my baby!!!

Tags: guilt trip · New York · office · Won't somebody think of the children?

Won’t someone think of the children?

December 16th, 2010 · 57 Comments

Part 2 in our “How to be the worst neighbor ever” series comes to us courtesy of Chris in Fort Worth, Texas.

When he first saw the note go up in his apartment complex, says Chris, “I thought it was pretty funny, but it wasn’t until the thief wrote a response that I had to take a picture.”

[Typewritten:} Stop taking my newspapers, you goddamn jerk.

related: All the news that’s fit to steal

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · neighbors · newspaper · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

Providing a “friendly holiday spirit”

December 13th, 2010 · 42 Comments

Halloween was just a prelude, really —it’s Christmas that brings the real bounty of guilt-trip opportunities, often with a bonus side helping of irony.

To wit: Jaime in Canada says his neighbor (okay, “neighbour”) went totally Clark Griswold with his Christmas decorating this year, creating a sparkling extravaganza that is, Jaime says, “quite the treat for the eyes.”

But the best part of the display might be what stands in front of Santa and his team of reindeer  — an ellipses-and-exclamation-fueled cautionary tale about the true meaning of Christmas…consumerism!!! (Take that, Tiny Tim!)

Dear Potential Rotten Kid!!!!!!!! This display was a Christmas gift from my children. I, plus my neighbours enjoy providing a friendly holiday spirit. Let your conscience be your guide! ...Imagine...Christmas Morning...You!! Mom...Dad...Hey, where's my presents? SORRY...SON!!! Somebody stole everything from our car!!

related: Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Who stole the baby Jesus??

Tags: Canada · Christmas · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · holiday spirit · neighbors · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children? · you're like so going to hell

Another 4-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in.

October 28th, 2010 · 128 Comments

With Halloween upon us, it’s not just uprooted flowers that are breaking the hearts of 4-year-olds around the world. Now entire families (of pumpkins) are being destroyed!

PLEASE DO NOT steal our pumpkins! Our four year old daughter was heart broken about seeing HER pumpkin busted in the street. We DID have a momma pumpkin, a daddy pumpkin and a baby pumpkin, we were planning on carving them as a FAMILY this weekend. You took our JOY when you STOLE our pumpkin.

Once again, this compulsive over-sharing seems to be a uniquely American phenomenon. As Archie in Brighton witnessed, the Brits manage to get straight to the bloody point.

Who ever stole our kids pumpkin we hope it chokes you. Sarah, Kevin and the children cared and watered the pumpkin patch for weeks.

related: People suck. (A valuable lesson for any four-year-old)

Tags: guilt trip · Halloween · kids · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children?

People suck. (A valuable lesson for any 4-year-old)

October 21st, 2010 · 160 Comments

Cait spotted this artful example of parental passive-aggression “in front of a very, very wealthy residence” in New York’s East Village. “I get that ripping up the flowers was a douchey move,” Cait says, “but this seems a little over the top.”

To which I’d add: Um, yes. (They had me at the first semicolon.)

Dear Thief, A child helped to plant the flowers you stole - so that everyone could enjoy them. She is 4 years old and loves puzzles, nature, and learning new things. You have introduced the topic of 'stealing' into our conversations; and in response we are talking about anger, reasoning and loss. I'm telling you this because I would like you to replace the plants. I could say more offensive things that she cannot yet spell - but aren't, in a sometimes disappointing world; forgiveness and redemption greater things to believe in, and 'please' a nicer word to say - this is a request and an opportunity for yourself. Santa may come for you after all!

Meanwhile, across the globe, another 4-year-old was given a similar learning experience. In Australia, however, they don’t bother beating around the bush.*

To the person/s who ripped out the flowers - could you please explain your motives to the 4 year old who planted and watered them daily. He doesn't yet understand what an arsehole is!

*Apologies. Bad pun intended.

related: To the person who stole my flower (sniff)

Tags: Australia · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · rhetorical question · runaway run-on sentences · semicolon abuse · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children? · You call that punctuation?

Just wait ’til he finds out the truth about the whole “fat guy down the chimney” thing

December 22nd, 2008 · 86 Comments

Sarah was taking a little stroll in Berkeley, California last December when she saw a house that clearly belonged to the “more is more” school of holiday decorating.

You know the type: “Giant candy canes, red bows, lights, even one of those life-sized plastic snow globes that blows confetti snow all around inside — all in a yard about the width of the sidewalk I was walking on,” Sarah says. “This note was tacked onto the fence, above an empty space in the row of candy canes.”

Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Shame on you! My son will not understand your behavior. He will be confused and sad. Please control yourself and don't vandalize the Xmas decorations.

Adds Sarah: “Poor little boy. Now he’s not going to know it’s Christmas.”

related: a holiday wish

Tags: Berkeley · Christmas · excessive underlining · guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · stealing · vandalism · Won't somebody think of the children?