Entries Tagged as 'office'

Last time I checked, my mother didn’t work here

October 7th, 2014 · 49 Comments

“My husband and I eloped in Maui last week because we thought it’d be more fun that way,” says Sarah in Seattle.At least one of her husband’s coworkers — apparently — took this as a snub. (But, you know, in a “Hahahahaha, JUST KIDDING!” clenched-teeth sort of way.)

Congrats to Paul!!! (Apparently)
related: Aaand…the honeymoon’s over.

Tags: love & marriage · office

Don’t leave a kitchen sucker punch

September 24th, 2014 · 27 Comments

Suzanne’s office in Chicago is filled with lots of so-called “creatives” — you know, the types who are too busy working on BIG IDEAS to deal with the banalities of, say, dirty dishes. Finally, someone decided it would take a real heavyweight to draw some attention to the problem.

Hi! I'm George Foreman.

related: Right/wrong justified

Tags: Chicago · kitchen · office

Let’s split!

August 19th, 2014 · 31 Comments

Up next, on Bananas with Low Self-Esteem

Up next, on Bananas with Low Self-Esteem...

 

And on the inside…

sad banana

Seriously, what are you waiting for?

Let's split!

 

(Thanks to Josh in Vancouver and John in NYC for submitting!)

related: Yes, we have no inflatable bananas

Tags: bananas · office

As Ed Hardy said, “Flushing kills slowly”

August 11th, 2014 · 67 Comments

Our submitter says this note was posted in a Princeton University restroom by his coworker, who had become “completely obsessed with finding out who didn’t flush the urinal after using it.” After posting the note, he began to discreetly check the urinal every time he saw someone leave the restroom.

“Eventually he identified the culprit, and that individual was appropriately shunned,” says our submitter. “At least he kept his oath to God!”

As Ed Hardy said, "Flushing kills slowly"

 

related: Were you raised by wolves? (a flowchart)

Tags: college life · New Jersey · office · reverse psychology · toilet

To the person who had corn for dinner last night

June 24th, 2014 · 47 Comments

Although John in Oklahoma City is used to the office bathroom being papered with commentary from his coworkers, he found the imagery of this note to be…especially vivid.

To the person who had corn for dinner last night; I only know you did because you left a big steaming bowl of it here for all to see. Next time, if you would be so kind, please flush the toilet. I know it is sad that I have to ask a grown man to do so, but apparently, I do,  You have been a breath of fresh air (no pun intended). Unfortunately you must have a lot of free time on your hands. The message is not getting to the right dumpers. They come from other floors to escape their own life! Or it is you and you have an alter ego!

related: A diarrhea only toilet?

Tags: office · Oklahoma · shit · toilet

Spoiled milk

June 18th, 2014 · 58 Comments

“Kitchen warfare has become somewhat of a spectator sport around here,” says our submitter, of his office in Vancouver. Perhaps a Vegan Support Group is in order?

Drinking Dairyland milk supports animal cruelty! Look it up.

related: Texts from Obnoxious Vegan Girl

Tags: milk · office

Rotten heel, steel toes

June 1st, 2014 · 75 Comments

One of Allison’s coworkers recently became convinced that one of the evening janitors had it in for her shoes — different shoes. On multiple occasions. “Needless to say,” Allison says, “she didn’t last much longer.”

Janitors don't ever put my shoes in the garbage. Your [sic] not nice.

 

I know who you are and you are evil to do this to my shoe and toss out the other one, you will be punished for this. You are disgusting creep O.K.. You will rot in hell.

Meanwhile, Kris in Alabama spotted this note on a locker at his place of business:

It's note nice to steel a Marine's boots. You can't hide.
related: Or I will CUT YOU

Tags: Edmonton · I know who you are · office · spelling and grammar police · you're like so going to hell · your/you're

Cookie Trolls

May 14th, 2014 · 36 Comments

Look out Keebler Elves, cookies have a new mascot… in Poland anyway, where Karolina spotted this note warning her and her fellow coworkers not to indulge in any mid-shift snacking.

Please do not eat cookies. They're for guests only!

Arguably a bit severe, but hey, as Kristie from San Antonio let us know, when you say it with a cookie, you speak from the heart.

Fuck you Dan!!

Related: “Too many”

Tags: food · office

Scapegoat of the Sea

May 12th, 2014 · 35 Comments

Joanna in Boston says this started with “have a blessed day,” and has continued to escalate from there.

Please wash sink when you dump food, especially tuna fish. It reeks. HAVE A BLESSED DAY! Three most wanted tuna offenders. I feel discriminated against. I have good taste. Please note: Mary did not write this note. Mary is not passive-aggressive.  -Mary

related: Fish cookies, anyone?

Tags: Boston · fish · office · public shaming · rebuttals

You may work here, but you’re not my mother.

April 14th, 2014 · 106 Comments

Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over?

Missing: Three All Beef Hot Dogs

related: A bitter butter battle

Tags: food · non-apology apology · office · St. Louis