“On its face, this note details a bunch of common-sense rhetoric about being a good employee,” our submitter says. “What’s hilarious and sad is how our ‘Service Ambassador’ thinks that a thinly-veiled threat like this is supposed to inspire fervent company loyalty and ‘outstanding service.’ Come prepared to kiss ass or we’ll kick yours?”
Entries Tagged as 'office cop'
January 28th, 2013 · 89 Comments
August 14th, 2011 · 175 Comments
Writes an office worker in Alabama: “A co-worker attends a weekly cooking class in town, and this week they made a Cinnamon Roll Casserole. The co-worker decided to bring it in to work and share it with the office.” The nerve of some people!
related: Loose lips shrink hips
July 18th, 2011 · 104 Comments
During Diana’s lunch break one day, a concerned coworker apparently decided to seize the opportunity to let her know — anonymously, of course — that the state of her cubicle was too much too handle. Even more obnoxiously, Diana says, “He or she actually just opened up Word and typed this note on my computer.”
To top it all off, Diana insists her workstation was hardly a disaster area to begin with. “The only things on my desk at the time were my computer, a few pieces of paper, and a coffee mug.”
related: Can you please walk quieter?
June 27th, 2011 · 39 Comments
Relentless exposure to awful puns hasn’t yet been explicitly singled out as a form of torture, but employees at this office in Australia might be able to make the case that it qualifies as “extreme mental distress.”
Apparently the strategy here was that for every day the kitchen’s cutlery situation went unresolved, up went another note — with progressively groan-worthy puns each time. (It took until “Spatchalator” for someone to cry uncle.)
February 22nd, 2011 · 52 Comments
Like the angry woman/women who wrote this note, Katie in Lexington, Kentucky works on the third floor of her building — but she’s never noticed any problems with the custodian’s work.
“Sure, sometimes a stall runs out of toilet paper, but within a couple of hours, he has refilled them,” she says. And besides: “I, for one, would prefer that Mario doesn’t hang out all afternoon in the women’s bathroom.” So, notewriter…maybe it’s time to take your massive craps elsewhere, hmm?
extra credit: Luigi finally snaps [CollegeHumor.com]
January 9th, 2011 · 116 Comments
“Our receptionist is uber-paranoid about her stuff getting stolen, despite the fact that we are one of the rare offices where fridge theft isn’t a problem,” writes our anonymous submitter in South Carolina. “Though I’d be too scared to do it myself — the woman has a very nasty, underhanded side — I love that someone else decided to have a little fun with her.”
related: Who’s the smartass?
December 22nd, 2010 · 47 Comments
(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)
November 18th, 2010 · 105 Comments
Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”
(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)
Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)
August 17th, 2010 · 75 Comments
Our anonymous submitter in Rhode Island has the distinct privilege of working with a person “who writes policy like it’s a new religion.” On her orders, the IT department instituted a program that automatically locks down your computer after two minutes of activity, but apparently that wasn’t enough to satisfy this self-appointed office cop.
One day, after dashing over to pick up a document from the shared printer, our submitter returned to find this somewhat clumsy attempt at an object lesson. (From then on, our submitter vowed, she would never play so fast and loose with her computer’s font settings again.)
related: Paying through the spout
May 25th, 2009 · 191 Comments
Our anonymous submitter in Ontario, Canada found this note in the office lunch area. Apparently, the water in the office cooler had been going like crazy until the new pay-per-sip policy was enacted.
“While people were willing to pay,” our submitter says, “whoever was changing the bottles was not doing it as often as before the charges began, and we were all getting annoyed as the cooler was empty more often than not. The sign also kept disappearing. This new sign was put up earlier this week, and the post-it appeared a few days later.”
(I’m still hung up on “people were willing to pay.” I mean, yes, we’re in the middle of a recession. And yes, it’s Canadian funny money. Still.)