Entries Tagged as 'office cop'
Relentless exposure to awful puns hasn’t yet been explicitly singled out as a form of torture, but employees at this office in Australia might be able to make the case that it qualifies as “extreme mental distress.”
Apparently the strategy here was that for every day the kitchen’s cutlery situation went unresolved, up went another note — with progressively groan-worthy puns each time. (It took until “Spatchalator” for someone to cry uncle.)
related: This vending machine doesn’t work…it just sits around collecting unemployment.
Tags: Australia · cleaning · kitchen · most popular notes of 2011 · office cop · smartass · spoons
Like the angry woman/women who wrote this note, Katie in Lexington, Kentucky works on the third floor of her building — but she’s never noticed any problems with the custodian’s work.
“Sure, sometimes a stall runs out of toilet paper, but within a couple of hours, he has refilled them,” she says. And besides: “I, for one, would prefer that Mario doesn’t hang out all afternoon in the women’s bathroom.” So, notewriter…maybe it’s time to take your massive craps elsewhere, hmm?
related: Who cleans your bathrooms? “A strange black lady with a knife.”
extra credit: Luigi finally snaps [CollegeHumor.com]
Tags: bathroom · disgruntled janitor · Kentucky · office · office cop · paper product fairy · toilet paper
“Our receptionist is uber-paranoid about her stuff getting stolen, despite the fact that we are one of the rare offices where fridge theft isn’t a problem,” writes our anonymous submitter in South Carolina. “Though I’d be too scared to do it myself — the woman has a very nasty, underhanded side — I love that someone else decided to have a little fun with her.”
related: Who’s the smartass?
Tags: most popular notes of 2011 · office cop · office fridge · smartass
Did you hear? Jack Bauer is back again! He’s now working unofficially as the head of the Cubicle Counter Terrorism Unit. And apparently, he gets his best propaganda ideas right here at PAN!
(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)
related: Five approaches to TP maintenance (the original “terrorists win” note)
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · coffee · Copycat · misplaced patriotism · office cop · toilet paper
Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”
(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)
Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)
related: Complimentary body spray for all employees!
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · Comic Sans Alert · dishes · fired · food · hygiene · memo · message to all intended for one · odor · office cop · Ontario · Tulsa
Our anonymous submitter in Rhode Island has the distinct privilege of working with a person “who writes policy like it’s a new religion.” On her orders, the IT department instituted a program that automatically locks down your computer after two minutes of activity, but apparently that wasn’t enough to satisfy this self-appointed office cop.
One day, after dashing over to pick up a document from the shared printer, our submitter returned to find this somewhat clumsy attempt at an object lesson. (From then on, our submitter vowed, she would never play so fast and loose with her computer’s font settings again.)
related: Paying through the spout
Tags: office cop · warning
Our anonymous submitter in Ontario, Canada found this note in the office lunch area. Apparently, the water in the office cooler had been going like crazy until the new pay-per-sip policy was enacted.
“While people were willing to pay,” our submitter says, “whoever was changing the bottles was not doing it as often as before the charges began, and we were all getting annoyed as the cooler was empty more often than not. The sign also kept disappearing. This new sign was put up earlier this week, and the post-it appeared a few days later.”
(I’m still hung up on “people were willing to pay.” I mean, yes, we’re in the middle of a recession. And yes, it’s Canadian funny money. Still.)
related: So…the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?
Tags: money · office · office cop · Ontario · water
Attention graphic designers: perhaps you should think about making passive-aggressive notes a standard part of your corporate identity package? At the office of our anonymous submitter in Utrecht, the employees had to make matters into their own hands.
P.S For only $10, Lure Design will help satisfy both your typography fetish and your passive-aggressive nature!
Or at Design Police, you can download your own visual enforcement kit for free.
related: Just severe enough
extra credit: georgia on my mind [inspiration bit]
Tags: office cop
“These are the results of your typical no-one-washes-their-dishes-at-the-office situation,” says our submitter in Portland, Oregon.”There used to be a note above the sink that said “NOT YOUR MAMA,” but it was replaced with these gems, both of which sort of creep me out (and neither of which has ameliorated the dirty dish issue).”
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Oregon…
Tags: dishes · kinda creepy · office · office cop · Portland
Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.
The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. “I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”
Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)
I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…
related: The return of Thx Sandra!
Tags: bathroom · battle of the sexes · blitzkrieg approach · California · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · office cop · party planning committee · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · thx · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks" · vomit · You call that punctuation?