Entries Tagged as 'office fridge'

The nicest possible way

April 8th, 2014 · 63 Comments

Really? This is the nicest possible phrasing you could come up with?

I am going to say this in the nicest possible way: Who is the stupid idiot that keeps putting cans of soda and bottles of water in the freezer? Stop doing this. I am tired of cleaning up the messes you make!

I mean, this guy even said please.

Do NOT put cans of soda in the freezer!!!! They explode and get all over people's food! Please do not put them in the freezer!

(Thanks to Ben in Dallas and Allie in Orlando for submitting.)

 

related: Ice Box-ing

Tags: beverages · Coke · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office fridge

Also, Santa hates you

December 12th, 2013 · 165 Comments

Writes our submitter from Portland, Oregon: “People steal out of the fridge all the time, so I’m not sure why someone thought money would be safe taped to barbecue sauce.”

Happy Holidays Co-Workers! Are you $2 richer? Did you find $2 taped to a bottle of BBQ sauce in the fridge? Well that means you are a thief! Also Santa hates you and I hope a Reinder poops on you. Merry Christmas you dirty animal!

related: I hope you…

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · money · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · stealing

Ever wondered what it would be like sharing an office with William Carlos Williams?

September 8th, 2013 · 54 Comments

First with the plums, now lemons? Seriously, Bill?

I hope you enjoyed the half lemon I had just taken out of the fridge. Next time buy your own. We all Work for ourselves not to feed Strangers.

And by the way, I’d like my red wheelbarrow back, please. (So much depends upon it, after all.)

HELP YOURSELF But NOT to the Wheelbarrow (like last year) please!

(Thanks to our submitters Sarah in NYC and Steve in the U.K.)

related: What rhymes with putrid?

extra credit: This Is Just to Say

Tags: food · New York · office fridge · pure poetry · stealing

The Office Fridge Obituaries

August 13th, 2013 · 36 Comments

Writes our submitter in Australia: “Our office has been quite settled for the past few years without any issues, but recently fridge items have started to go missing. I’ve lost my own odd pieces of lunch to our unknown thief, so I sympathise completely.”

Tzatziki dip 12.08.2013-12.08-2013  Tzatziki dip, affectionately known as

related: Dear ‘Desperate for Salad’

Tags: Australia · office fridge · sad face · stealing

The nuts and bolts of soda pop safety

July 23rd, 2013 · 88 Comments

Stephen in Maryland build this contraption after his sixth or seventh soda was stolen out of the office fridge. “My boss told me there was nothing I or he could do about it,” Stephen says, but he thought he’d give it a shot anyway. “I went a little overboard,” he admits, “But so far, no one’s been able to defeat the system.”

Like The Club® anti-theft device for the Office Fridge

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: beverages · Maryland · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · stealing

The stars of the office petri dish

June 27th, 2013 · 72 Comments

I can’t decide between the cheese and the soup. Who do you think deserves the prize?

Food Hygiene Award Contestants: The pizza roll? The soup? The milk? The cheese? The tomato? The tuna?

related: What rhymes with putrid?

Tags: food · Melbourne · office fridge

Free creamer!

June 26th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Writes our submitter in Florida: “My husband walked into his office breakroom to find this note. He immediately went back to his desk to write a response, but by the time he made it back to the fridge, he found that someone else had beat him to it.”

If you want to borrow my creamer PLEASE ask!!! Do not take it upon yourself to take it!!!

FREE CREAMER! Just grab out of bag

related: Coffee, mate?

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · Florida · office fridge · smartass

No problem — ’twas a piece of a cake!

June 18th, 2013 · 91 Comments

“Our organization recently moved most of its employees from several small offices into one large office,” writes our submitter in Vancouver. “It only took five months for the kitchen conflict to ramp up into a full-blown note war.”

thank you for helping yourself to half of my birthday cake....I guess I didn't need the whole cake to share with my friends and coworkers anyways. ...and happy birthday to you too!

To the leaver of the cake: You're very welcome.

...and someone helped themselves to one of my steam buns (leftovers) in a takeout box but I have a bad cold so they'll get the bad karma back.

related: Let the rest of us eat cake.

Tags: birthday · cake · karma's a bitch · note wars · office fridge · stealing · thanks (but not really) · Vancouver

With some fava beans and a nice Chianti

June 9th, 2013 · 24 Comments

“It would appear my co-worker is sensitive to her plant being moved,” writes Claire in the U.K.

Move this plant and i will eat your liver. Love Jess xx

Meanwhile, in New York…

To the person that leaves a disgusting mess on the seat. If you don't stop, this person will find you and eat your liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti. So cut it out!

And in Baltimore…

PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH This is BBQ HUMAN meat and by eating this you are admitting to the office that you are a cannibal

related: Pigs do not eat bacon

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · moving/not moving · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · toilet

Drink my Coca-Cola…and the terrorists win

June 1st, 2013 · 66 Comments

Ana in Kentucky spotted this epic on the faculty fridge at the school where she works.

Dear Coke-I-leave-on-the-door-thief, As a child who grew up in the depression era, I come from humble beginnings. I have learned to take pleasures in the simple things in life; the river, the trees in spring, the wonderment in children's eyes...As I move forward through another morning, my caffeine deprived brain and I ponder silently the consequences of your actions. Have you no pride? Have you no shame? As a part time Aid and Para Professional, my compensation for said duties is not as lucrative or rewarding as the joy my heart feels when a student finally reaches their potential academically, spiritually, and emotionally. I beg you, kind sir or ma'am, to consider the effects your actions have on my ability to produce God-fearing citizens of this democracy. May I suggest that you help yourself to any of the half-empty Sprite bottles or outdated rotten apples that I tend to leave in the same general vicinity as my valued Coke product? May you never feel the pain of eating peanut butter at 10am and having nothing to drink except something called

related: Take my last Diet Coke from the fridge and I WILL cut you.

Tags: Coke · Kentucky · Louisville · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · schools & teachers · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children?