This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!
(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)
Tags: cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · guilt trip · ital overkill · New York · office fridge · questionable logic · rhetorical question · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)
Our anonymous submitter spotted this note posted by a coworker on the office fridge.
When asked about the note, this coworker described himself as someone “with a penchant for an orderly universe and a strong desire to see food mingle.”
related: Cubicle etiquette
Tags: a little uptight · excessive underlining · inappropriate italics · let's try · office · office cop · office fridge · oh snap · San Diego
Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.
What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: Try a bite
Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing
As this example from Winston-Salem, N.C. shows: hell hath no fury like a lactose-loving office worker.
The thief might be depending on the fridge’s contents as a source of food, but mercy? Don’t count on it.
Tags: cheese · itemized list · North Carolina · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing · Winston-Salem
“Apparently our growing satellite office has some food thieves,” says an anonymous submitter in Ontario.
Tags: Canada · e-mail · food · office · office fridge · Ontario · reverse psychology · sarcasm · stealing
“My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator,” says Brian in Cleveland. “We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme. One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway. She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence. Within two minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.”
So worth the effort though, right?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · cheese · Cleveland · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · office · office fridge · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · preggers · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · stealing
A booby-trapped soup — sans note — probably would have been the more effective (and more passive-aggressive) approach, but, um, to each his own?
If you’re wondering what OxyPowder is, allow Kenneth to explain.
Tags: excessive underlining · food · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing
“Our company gives us free soda,” says Craig in New York City, “but then you have to deal with notes like these.”
(Cue the world’s tiniest violin.)
Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · New York · office · office fridge
