Entries Tagged as 'overzealous secretary'

FU Load Letter

September 26th, 2012 · 37 Comments

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

PLEASE SEE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IN REGARD TO THIS MACHINE OR HOW TO OPERATE OR CLEAR A JAM. DO NOT START PUSHING BUTTONS OR OPENING THINGS IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. SEE ME FOR ASSISTANCE. THANK YOU.   Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

related: My Secretary, Sybil

Tags: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching

French roast black, with a dash of deference

August 26th, 2008 · 203 Comments

Despite the logo on this breakroom note, Nikki in Fresno doesn’t work at Starbucks. (She just wishes she does.)

CREAMER IS NOT FOR THIS PURPOSE

related: Be curtius

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · Fresno · high on highlighter · ital overkill · money · office · overzealous secretary · Starbucks

My secretary, Sybil

March 19th, 2008 · 126 Comments

Dan spotted this triple-bonus-score of a note at the desk of a receptionist in MTV’s New York office. The craziest part, he says? “She leaves it up there all the time, just in case she calls in sick. It’s just up there, all day, in her face, reaffirming her violent disapproval for people invading her personal space.”

my secretary, sybil

related: where angels fear to spit

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · overzealous secretary · touching

Not to name names, but…

March 18th, 2008 · 84 Comments

World-renowned troublemaker Troy McClure forwards this e-mail from his department’s secretary in Sydney, Australia.

Would anyone know who has taken/borrowed most of the coffee mugs and tea cups from the kitchen on our level?

No big deal, you say? Take a second look at the addressee list. (Yes, JONATHAN, I’m talking to you.)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · dishes · message to all intended for one · overzealous secretary · Sydney

For your records

November 9th, 2007 · 293 Comments

I think what fascinates me most about this e-mail, from the head of the party planning committee — excuse me, “fun fund” — at an office in Toronto, is the subject line. Not only does the writer ignore the obvious “let them eat cake,” she vetoes the direct approach (“hey, fatty”) in favor of the utterly nonsensical “for your records.”

(click to enlarge!)

Cake and fruit day is just once a month

related: If you can afford $10 worth of flair…

Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · ellipses-crazed · etiquette · money · office · overzealous secretary · party planning committee · Toronto