Entries Tagged as 'office'
Many months ago, one of our submitter’s coworkers decided to fortify the entire office freezer with family-sized bricks of monosodium glutamate.
(Was there an amazing “buy 20, get one free” special at Wal-Mart? Is someone filming a processed-foods version of Super Size Me? Or just stocking up for the End Times?) Whatever the reason, this person made very clear (via post-it note) that these frozen delights were not for general consumption, thanks.
Finally, after months had gone by with no obvious signs of attrition on the Banquet line, another coworker decided to add a defiant note of protest (which in turn spurred a third note, from the office smartass.) Sadly, the real question (FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FROZEN — WHY????) remains unanswered.
related: Please remove the rabbit carcasses from this freezer
Tags: Colorado · food · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing
Our submitter in Huntsville, Alabama says one of her male co-workers shared this note from the men’s restroom at their office. “And yes,” she says, “we really do work for NASA.”
By the way, if you’re traveling to Indonesia any time soon, you can pick up some papier-mâché materials of your very own!
related: Toilet-flushing memo from the Empire State Building
extra credit: Mary Roach explains “fecal decapitation” and other toilet issues astronauts encounter in space [thedailyshow.com]
Tags: Alabama · all clogged up · most popular notes of 2011 · office · toilet · toilet paper · you know who you are
Sorry, I meant back door. I’m gonna slowly back away now, ma’am…
related: Dear lovely ladies
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · door-slamming · message to all intended for one · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity · shit · TMI · warning
At Joanne’s office in Lancashire, England, her team had a temporary agency administrator working on-site with them for a few days. Well, “working.” Joanne says her boss was well-aware of what this fellow was actually up to, but rather than report him through the official channels, decided to drop him a little hint instead. (No word about how the lucky employees seated next to him felt about that decision.)
related: The Jake Issues
Tags: actually totally reasonable · big brother-ish · most popular notes of 2011 · office · sex sex sex · smiley · U.K.
Mara’s office kitchen in New York City is shared by over 50 people, but they don’t play by kindergarten rules. (Yoohoo, Elaine? You might have a kindred spirit up in here.)
related: Everything else in the refrigerator belongs to everybody else.
Tags: guilt trip · kitchen · most popular notes of 2011 · office · sharing is caring · smartass
Like the angry woman/women who wrote this note, Katie in Lexington, Kentucky works on the third floor of her building — but she’s never noticed any problems with the custodian’s work.
“Sure, sometimes a stall runs out of toilet paper, but within a couple of hours, he has refilled them,” she says. And besides: “I, for one, would prefer that Mario doesn’t hang out all afternoon in the women’s bathroom.” So, notewriter…maybe it’s time to take your massive craps elsewhere, hmm?
related: Who cleans your bathrooms? “A strange black lady with a knife.”
extra credit: Luigi finally snaps [CollegeHumor.com]
Tags: bathroom · disgruntled janitor · Kentucky · office · office cop · paper product fairy · toilet paper
Our submitter in Malaysia called this auto-reply from her coworker “a great way to ensure consistent passive-aggressiveness in the workplace, even when you’re busy holidaying.” (As always, just click the image to enlarge.)
It reminded me of these “instructional instructions” from the manual that James in the U.K. received with his DVD player.
related: Gee, that’ll show ‘em
Tags: e-mail · office · questionable logic
When her company recently relocated, says Sara in St. Louis, her department and several others were thrown together in a new office where the marketing group had already staked its claim.
“Marketing had tagged the soap they supplied in the bathroom because it was getting thrown away,” says Sara, “but when the other groups moved in they started tagging their products too.”
At this point, she says, “It’s getting a little awkward. I’m not in any of these departments — I just want to wash my hands.”
related: Everything in this drawer belongs to Elaine.
Tags: bathroom · office · St. Louis · washing your hands
1. Your explanation for the following: “It’s funny, ’cause it’s true.”
2. At this point, it’s every zombie for himself.
3. Even the visual metaphors have given up.
4. And those noises you’re hearing? That’s actually the sound of your life force slowly leaching out of your body.
(Thanks to Marcus in Indiana, David in California, Bunny in Florida, and anonymous in New York for their soul-sucking submissions.)
related: Motivational posters for a down economy
Tags: most popular notes of 2011 · now that's management · office
“Our receptionist is uber-paranoid about her stuff getting stolen, despite the fact that we are one of the rare offices where fridge theft isn’t a problem,” writes our anonymous submitter in South Carolina. “Though I’d be too scared to do it myself — the woman has a very nasty, underhanded side — I love that someone else decided to have a little fun with her.”
related: Who’s the smartass?
Tags: most popular notes of 2011 · office cop · office fridge · smartass