Katrina‘s husband spotted this sign in the men’s room of his office in Roswell, Georgia, shortly before the boss ordered it taken down. (The “…or I will cut you” part of the manager’s removal directive was implied, obviously. Because that’s just how they do things around there.)
Entries Tagged as 'office'
November 13th, 2010 · 60 Comments
October 26th, 2010 · 62 Comments
Mosef in Houston says this is just one of the workplace safety team’s many delightfully fear-based messages that decorate his office.
Meanwhile, our submitter in Athens, Georgia says that copies of this one particular sign appeared one day out of nowhere, taped to practically every available surface. (I’m guessing the thinking behind it was something like, “Well, if a picture’s worth a thousand words, a thousand pictures are…oooh, a piggy bank!”)
related: He died for your clip art.
extra credit: Instructional Instructions
October 24th, 2010 · 92 Comments
Writes our submitter in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: “A woman in my office was recently relocated to a new cubicle, apparently against her will. I don’t really know her, but I guess now I know not what not to use as an ice breaker!”
related: Really, enough about the weather.
September 27th, 2010 · 61 Comments
I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”
Exhibit a) From San Francisco:
Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:
Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:
related: Completely valid rebuttals
September 14th, 2010 · 79 Comments
In a recession, how companies harness the power of positive thinking can get a little twisted.
In Roanoke, Virginia, for example, Seth says “an uptight lady I used to work with — who almost certainly used to be a hall monitor — wrote this motivational quote in the windowless trailer I shared with about 20 coworkers and a vindictive, micromanaging boss.”
When he eventually got laid off, Seth says, the company tried to get him to interview for a different position — but those inspiring words on the whiteboard set him straight. “I decided that imagining myself without a paycheck was not enough to keep me coming back to that acre of hell.”
Elsewhere in Roanoke, meanwhile, kitchen staff at this restaurant/bar are greeted by these empowering words every time they trudge through the doors.
And of course, nothing can top this classic:
August 31st, 2010 · 42 Comments
At Nat’s office in York, England, one of his coworkers has been trying to bully everyone into coughing up some cash for an (admittedly worthy) charitable cause.
In Nat’s opinion, however, her guilt-heavy fund-raising techniques might benefit from a little fine-tuning…especially given that all seven of those special “charity pens” were nicked from the office supply closet.
related: Starve on!
August 30th, 2010 · 72 Comments
In one of my clearest memories of first grade, I distinctly remember my teacher telling us, on the first day of school, that the bathroom in the back of the classroom was only for emergencies. For non-emergencies, we’d have to wait until lunchtime. In my six-year-old mind, however, “emergency” meant only one thing: “throwing up.” And so, when I had to go, I held it. And held it. Until…well, I wasn’t holding it anymore.
That’s right: It actually took wetting my pants for me to learn that the word “emergency” means very different things to different people — a concept some people apparently still haven’t figured out.
It’s unclear, for example, what might constitute a “citrus emergency” at this Pleasanton, California optometrist’s office. (Perhaps a masochistic mandarin peeling itself?)
You might think people would be a little more precise in their language on a military base. At Arizona’s Fort Huachuca, you’d only be about half right.
At Gustavo’s new office building in Seattle, it only took about a week — and about a bazillion false alarms— before someone decided a little clarification was necessary. (Sorta sounds like something you’d expect from a classroom of first-graders, no?)
Meanwhile, Andrew in Cirencester, England only noticed this sign after pushing open one of his office’s alarmed fire doors (triggering a sudden and unforeseen occurrence — i.e., ear-shattering noise).
related: Gee, thanks for the clarification
August 29th, 2010 · 49 Comments
These notes — the first from on office in California, the second from an office in Arkansas — both seem like they’re following the same not-quite-finished flowchart for acceptable office paper usage.
Really, you’re in for a scolding no matter what. And as our submitter Hannah noticed — in this bizarre exchange from the copy room at a school in Spartanburg, South Carolina — contrition only seems to further incense the office Paper Nazis.
August 17th, 2010 · 75 Comments
Our anonymous submitter in Rhode Island has the distinct privilege of working with a person “who writes policy like it’s a new religion.” On her orders, the IT department instituted a program that automatically locks down your computer after two minutes of activity, but apparently that wasn’t enough to satisfy this self-appointed office cop.
One day, after dashing over to pick up a document from the shared printer, our submitter returned to find this somewhat clumsy attempt at an object lesson. (From then on, our submitter vowed, she would never play so fast and loose with her computer’s font settings again.)
related: Paying through the spout
August 1st, 2010 · 87 Comments
Frustrated by fridge thieves who continually ignore your polite (or not-so-polite) requests to keep their paws to themselves? Don’t get mad — get creative! You could end up with something so crazy it might actually work…that is, if it doesn’t totally backfire.
You could go for the classic bluff, with the hopes that you’ll inspire just enough self-doubt to encourage the thief to go for the next lunch bag over.
Or you could hold out hope that the thief in question is either very lazy, very stupid…
…or that he or she appreciates your twisted sense of humor enough to take mercy on your pathetic self.
Or you could just bring this for lunch. (Somehow, I think this would have been safe, even without the note.)
Thanks to Theresa in Birmingham, Alabama; Stacey in Manchester, New Hampshire; Alissa in Memphis, Tennessee; and Marianne in Dublin, Ireland for submitting!
related: That’s breastmilk!