Entries Tagged as 'office'

RSV-f’ing-P. Comprenez-vous?

December 13th, 2009 · 155 Comments

“Our office manager was upset that people weren’t responding promptly enough to the Christmas party invitation,” says our submitter in San Diego.

In keeping with the holiday spirit of things, the office manager  apparently channeled that anger into the posting of this (uncredited) About.com excerpt in the office kitchen, for the edification of all. How that’s for savoir faire?

The term RSVP comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond". If RSVP is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.

related: An evening of congenial abnormality

Tags: Christmas · etiquette · it's my party · obnoxious definition · office · party planning committee · San Diego

Raging against the pinball machine

December 6th, 2009 · 123 Comments

A parable of the state of the “hot dot-com” workplace in 2009: The story goes, according to our anonymous submitter in California:

Some executive-level person decided to put a pinball machine into our break area. After several months, someone must have complained about the noise, because a note went up telling us it was not to be played. When some employees decided to play the machine at 7 AM (assuming nobody in the building was in), the note was replaced by a new (more specific) note.

Pinball Machine is NOT to be played at any time. Thank you!

After that, “the machine was unplugged and left to gather dust,” our submitter says…and to silently taunt all of the office’s embittered would-be pinball wizards. Until, one day…multiball!

The Pinball Machine is SOLELY TO BE LOOKED AT. And also to post notes on Not to play pinball.

related: “Popcorn Thursday”

Tags: California · note wars · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals

Pomp and Circumvent

November 18th, 2009 · 155 Comments

Who needs a water cooler? Nothing fosters “community” like shared networked printers! Need proof?

First up, an anonymous submission from a cubicle farm in Rochester Hills, Michigan. (Not pictured, our submitter says: two additional copies of the same “Pomptly” note to the left and right of the original.)

Passiveaggressivenotes.com: fun with community printers

And from Illinois…

Passiveaggressivenotes.com: the joys of shared printers

From Omaha, Nebraska…

Passiveaggressivenotes.com: the office printer has a dream,

(And from Brooklyn…and just about everywhere else, from Glastonbury, Connecticut to Geneva, Switzerland.)

Meanwhile, Melissa from San Francisco was recently at the D.C. bureau of a news magazine for a press meeting, but being a devoted PAN-ista, she managed to sneak out of the conference room while the coast was clear to make sure she could capture this shot for us. (So please excuse the blurriness.)

environmental backlash

related: this is not positive communication

Tags: note wars · office · oh snap · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · the printer

Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays…

November 15th, 2009 · 150 Comments

Perhaps Dirty Lady #2 got an office job?

passiveaggressivenotes.com: Ladies, let's all take really good baths

related: the most disgusting thing is a nasty lady

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · hygiene · odor · office

The half-donut bandit

October 28th, 2009 · 203 Comments

As we’ve noted here before, the white-collar nuisance known as the nibbler has been pathetically picking his (half)way through office kitchenettes across the land for some time now.

While the nibbler’s actions are usually met with disdain, one oh-so-compassionate office-worker from Omaha decided to take a different approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. I’d also be interested to see his advice for Mike in Cleveland, who seems to have similar delusions about the health impact of eating 9 donuts instead of 10.

(click the image below to enlarge)

passivaggressivenotes.com:

The kicker? As it turns out, according to our anonymous submitter,”the bandit was, in fact, a guy!”

related: Just take the whole slice next time, okay?

Tags: all-staff e-mail · food · office · pleasantries as afterthought

You gotta hand it to HR…

October 26th, 2009 · 136 Comments

With morale at many companies coasting towards all-time lows, those peppy human resources specialists keep coming up with new budget-conscious ways to keep us worker bees happily humming along. To wit: “Popcorn Thursday.” Sounds like a total blast, right?

you gotta hand it to HR...

Meanwhile, an anonymous post-it writer in Denver speaks up for how employees really feel about these “morale boosters.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: 1 easy way to reward employees

related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · office · party planning committee

The perils of the accidental reply-all

October 18th, 2009 · 179 Comments

A helpful reminder: When talking shit about your coworker (like “E”) via e-mail, you (unlike “C”) probably want to be extra sure you don’t confuse “FWD” with “reply all.” Just a thought!

Hope you get some rest!

related: why facebook is so gonna get you fired

Tags: e-mail · office · Oops?

There’s a Nigerian prince I can put you in touch with for more information…

October 9th, 2009 · 156 Comments

Office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.

The “helpful” (yet oh-so-devious) all-staff e-mail sent by the victim:

office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.

And — I shit you not — the response:

office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.

related: lean cuisine

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Columbus · food · office fridge · oh snap

(Insert Office Space reference here)

October 6th, 2009 · 118 Comments

There’s a Milton in every cubicle farm, it seems…and I believe you have his stapler.

passiveaggressivenotes.com - i believe you have my stapler

And a Dwight and a Jim…

(Just click on the image below to enlarge!)

I Believe You Have My Stapler

related: that’d be great

Tags: office · office supplies

An anonymous rant against anonymity

October 1st, 2009 · 114 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Dallas says this randomly showed up one day on the bulletin board at work with no further explanation, leaving everyone to puzzle over the notewriter’s intended motive. (To hurt? To edify? It boggles the mind!)

an anonymous rant against anonymity

related: Oh, the irony

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · office