Entries Tagged as 'office'
So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?
Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?
Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?
Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?
Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.
related: Scatological Poetry Slam
Tags: Atlanta · clip art catastrophe · college life · D.C. · dishes · office · pure poetry · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · TL;DR · Winston-Salem
So, you don’t want to share your super-special non-dairy creamer/handsoap with the rest of the office?
You could go for the semi-direct approach…
But as Ocie in Petaluma, California witnessed, that might not be enough of a deterrent.
In that case, you could try to dial up the crazy a little more, like Nicole in Florida…
Or you just might have to get a little bit creative.
“Truth be told,” says Mick in McLean, Virginia, “I never did check to see what was in the container.” (Which I guess was kinda the point, right?)
related: I, who should seriously lay off the caffeine
Tags: California · coffee · New York · Northern Virginia · office fridge · Orlando · piss · stealing · Texas
Alejandro found this note posted in the men’s toilet of his Santa Monica office building. “All I know is the guy that does this also uses half a roll of TP,” Alejandro says, “so he’s disgusting AND he hates the environment.”
UPDATE: Yes, it’s true: women’s toilets are often left in just as “discussing” a state as the one above. As Amanda in Austin recounts: “Somebody at my work had a terribly disgusting accident in the restroom that they did not clean up, and the custodians weren’t too happy. Neither were all the other women in the building. (And though it took place in the handicap-accessible stall, as far as we know, nobody in the building is disabled.)” A trifling matter? I think not.
related: the most disgusting thing
Tags: Austin · California · CAPS LOCK · disgruntled janitor · office · shit · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet
As spotted by Brad at a ski lodge in Palmerton, Pennsylvania…
By Hickepedia at an office in Richmond, Virginia…
By Kyle at his apartment building in Los Angeles…
And by Leah at her office in Chicago…
related: Is this a thing now?
Tags: food · microwave · office · WTF?
Most office fridge notes — especially when they pertain to specialty “diet” items like, say, a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich — read something like this one (from a cubicle farm in Burbank, California).
Not so at Rocky‘s office in Austin, Texas…but office drama is never too hard to find in the shared fridge.
Of course, you don’t even have to be a sentient being to fall into a similar trap.
If you’ve shopped online at Amazon.com lately, you might have noticed that they’ve starting suggesting using a custom “PayPhrase” to speed up express checkout. After placing a recent order, Rosalie in Seattle did a double-take when she saw the phrase Amazon picked for her.
related: Sweet & Lowdown
Tags: food · kinda creepy · office fridge · smartass · stealing · WTF?
Angie in Columbus, Ohio says this is the second (hilariously) furious fridge note to be posted lately in the office kitchenette. Adds Angie: “Who knew a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich fit into a ‘special diet’?” Perhaps next time the writer could just hop (er, drive) on over to Taco Bell?
related: It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich
extra credit: This is why you’re fat.
Tags: bullet points · Columbus · food · obnoxious definition · office fridge · stealing · thanks (but not really) · that's disrespectful
Is it executive exceptionalism at work here? Supreme lack of self-awareness? A wicked sense of humor? You decide.
Exhibit a) from Reva in Reedsburg, Wisconsin
Exhibit b) from Peggy at the University of New Brunswick
Exhibit c) from Jess in San Francisco
related: Please respect my fellow employees and stop leaving notes
Tags: meta · office · rebuttals
“Due to budget issues,” writes our submitter from Nashville, “coffee in our office is now funded through donations by those who drink it.” (Cost: 50 cents per cup, on the honor system.)
While some office workers no doubt continue to fill their cups without paying, the passive-aggressives in this office found their own way to convey their distaste for the new policy.
related: Paying through the spout
extra credit: Phasing out pennies in a bid for change [NPR.org]
Tags: coffee · money · Nashville · office
“Some serious shit must have gone down with the previous office toaster,” says our anonymous submitter from Canada. (Maybe it was left without wearing any socks or shoes?)
Meanwhile, Marilyn in Pittsburgh says that her office lunchroom has inexplicably gone through nearly half a dozen toasters over the past year. “It’s unclear as to what keeps happening to them, but nonetheless, we keep having to replace them.” Within a few days of the latest model’s appearance, it seems that tensions are already running dangerously hot.
Please, won’t somebody think of the toast?!
related: Especially Deborah
extra credit: Sad toast [etsy.com]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · kitchen · office · toaster
Explains our submitter in New York: “This note is the result of a less-than-enthusiastic holiday food drive. Our office is a gray, lifeless place — what can one expect?”
(I don’t know…maybe some munchkins now and then?)
related: But what about Hawaiian Shirt Day?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · guilt trip · office · thanks (but not really)