Entries Tagged as 'office'

You gotta hand it to HR…

October 26th, 2009 · 136 Comments

With morale at many companies coasting towards all-time lows, those peppy human resources specialists keep coming up with new budget-conscious ways to keep us worker bees happily humming along. To wit: “Popcorn Thursday.” Sounds like a total blast, right?

you gotta hand it to HR...

Meanwhile, an anonymous post-it writer in Denver speaks up for how employees really feel about these “morale boosters.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: 1 easy way to reward employees

related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · office · party planning committee

The perils of the accidental reply-all

October 18th, 2009 · 179 Comments

A helpful reminder: When talking shit about your coworker (like “E”) via e-mail, you (unlike “C”) probably want to be extra sure you don’t confuse “FWD” with “reply all.” Just a thought!

Hope you get some rest!

related: why facebook is so gonna get you fired

Tags: e-mail · office · Oops?

There’s a Nigerian prince I can put you in touch with for more information…

October 9th, 2009 · 156 Comments

Office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.

The “helpful” (yet oh-so-devious) all-staff e-mail sent by the victim:

office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.

And — I shit you not — the response:

office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.

related: lean cuisine

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Columbus · food · office fridge · oh snap

(Insert Office Space reference here)

October 6th, 2009 · 118 Comments

There’s a Milton in every cubicle farm, it seems…and I believe you have his stapler.

passiveaggressivenotes.com - i believe you have my stapler

And a Dwight and a Jim…

(Just click on the image below to enlarge!)

I Believe You Have My Stapler

related: that’d be great

Tags: office · office supplies

An anonymous rant against anonymity

October 1st, 2009 · 114 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Dallas says this randomly showed up one day on the bulletin board at work with no further explanation, leaving everyone to puzzle over the notewriter’s intended motive. (To hurt? To edify? It boggles the mind!)

an anonymous rant against anonymity

related: Oh, the irony

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · office

Wishin’ and hopin’

September 24th, 2009 · 120 Comments

When dealing with anonymous strangers, there’s no point in playing coy about your hopes and dreams. Tell us, kids, what do you REALLY want?

I hope your baseball team never wins another world series for the rest of your life

I hope you get the runs!

I hope your spouse leaves you for your best friend

I hope you catch on fire

Hope your balls fall off!

I hope God will kill you in a car crash before you get to your house

related: I hope your cat chokes

Tags: die bitch die · God · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · stealing

Compassion in the workplace

September 23rd, 2009 · 235 Comments

Spotted by Kirk at “a very high-end consulting firm” in Washington, D.C.

Classy, right?

Please go home and stop spreading your germs around here.

related: suck on this

Tags: D.C. · heartwarming compassion · illness · office

The nibbler: the plague of office breakrooms everywhere

September 15th, 2009 · 99 Comments

Back in my college newspaper days, the pizzas in the back room always ended up, by the end of the night, completely decimated — some slices had the cheese picked off, others had the crusts nibbled away, and then those slices were oh-so-charitably left in the pizza box, presumably with the idea that some other, slightly more desperate slob would come by later and feast on the picked-over remains. That behavior, it seems, doesn’t stop with graduation.

Exhibit a) from Chris in New York

Just take the whole slice next time, okay? Thanks

Exhibit b) from Nate in D.C.

Please DO NOT take bites of people's food. Yes, this ACTUALLY happened to someone's pizza today. They were FULL slices.

exhibit c) from Jason in Los Angeles

Please do NOT nibble on muffins.

exhibit d) from Chloe in Vancouver

IF YOU WANT SOME ASK!! I will share no need to take 1/2 slice without asking.

exhibit e) from Therese in Seattle

Please don't leave half-eaten stuff on the counter! Take to your desk? Thanks!!

related: The bathroom stall booger epidemic

Tags: food · kitchen · muffins · office · pizza · thanks (but not really)

Just a rat in a cage

September 10th, 2009 · 174 Comments

Writes Leslie in London: “My co-worker, Janine was having some serious keyboard RAGE and posted this request to our office’s online help desk, which every single person in the company can see…including Daniel.”

Can we get Daniel a quieter keyboard please? I've not said anything to anyone, but it's doing my head in.

This post is dedicated to my cube-mate Leah, who recently received a surprise “gift” — a quiet-touch keyboard — from our boss, which succeeded in making her feel even more self-conscious about her “loud typing.”

Sadly, she observed, the IT department has no solution for the cringe-inducing sound our fellow coworker who insists on clipping her nails at her desk.

related: Suck on this!

Tags: London · noise · office

And Jesus said “oh, snap!”

September 7th, 2009 · 136 Comments

Another sign of the times: Nick in Tampa, Florida says the sodas in his small office used to be free, but now they cost 50 cents. And yet, Nick says, “when they’re left out unguarded and unsecured, naturally, people steal them.”

Eventually, one coworker thought instilling the fear of god would make for a good theft-deterrent…which inspired another coworker to quote scripture in protest of the new drink policy.

jesus is watching you steal diet cokes

related: no, He uses vaseline

Tags: Diet Coke · Jesus · most popular notes of 2009 · office · oh snap · stealing · Tampa