Entries Tagged as 'office'

The more the messier

April 30th, 2009 · 218 Comments

Presumably, writes Chris in San Francisco, the note-writer “figured that if she didn’t put a note on all each offending bag, someone was going to feel left out.”

Please put your name on your Bags or they will be tossed! Many of the bags are left with rotting fruit and molded plastic containers. Thank you.

Please put your name on your Bags or they will be tossed! Many of the bags are left with rotting fruit and molded plastic containers. Thank you.

Adds Chris: “Admittedly, the Kashi cereal box in the back has been there for over two years.  I leave it just as an experiment in human behavior, but apparently somebody had had enough.”

related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · office fridge · San Francisco

People got a lotta nerve

April 26th, 2009 · 126 Comments

“One of my coworkers — normally a calm, even-keeled woman — sits near the door of the office,” writes Ali in Minnesota. “When others come in at night to write reports or look up info, they apparently destroy her desk in the matter of minutes. After a series of coffee cups and chair-lowerings, up went this note. Everyone in the office found it so funny they started adding snarling animals to the note. Ferocious!”

people got a lotta nerve

While I can understand this woman’s frustration, one thing I’ll never be able to understand is the logic behind highlighting an entire (caps-locked!) message.

related: cubicle etiquette

Tags: CAPS LOCK · high on highlighter · Minnesota · not-so-veiled threats · office · stealing

And a very happy Earth Day to you!

April 22nd, 2009 · 87 Comments

Alec in Houston found this little work of art on his desk, he says, “after I went out for lunch and didn’t do the dishes like they had asked.” With gritted teeth, he goes on: “They have ‘too much work’ and I have ‘none’ so I might as well wash them!”

Thanks so much for not wasting water on doing the dishes

related: Al Gore knows you drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

Tags: a little patronizing · dishes · Houston · office · thanks (but not really) · The Earth

The International Brotherhood of Daves

April 16th, 2009 · 161 Comments

Writes Joe in Van Nuys, California: “Dave has been upset because people have been drinking his tea. Apparently, he was unaware of other potential Daves in the office. Next time, maybe he should clarify?”

Is Your name Dave? Yes!  My name IS Dave.  Thanks for the free drink!  Daves 4 Life!!!

related: Who’s the smartass?

Tags: California · most popular notes of 2009 · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · tea

Short and not-so-sweet

April 10th, 2009 · 111 Comments

Two words: missing tarantula.

FIND IT!

Mascara-borrowing roommate.

Just keep it.

Just pathetic.

Salmon salad replacement fund

related: Just one question

Tags: office · roommates · stealing

Keeping peace in the sinks of the Middle East

April 2nd, 2009 · 168 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Tel Aviv spotted this note outside the kitchenette of a client’s office. In case your Hebrew is a little rusty, she also provided an English translation:

In this kitchen, please feel free to] pour drinks, cut up food, warm things through, stir and mix food, chop food up into ridiculously small pieces, taste whatever you like and eat until you are well satisfied and utterly sated. BUT [the Hebrew slang originating from the Arabic equivalent of "for fuck's sake,"] do it quietly!

In this kitchen, please feel free to] pour drinks, cut up food, warm things through, stir and mix food, chop food up into ridiculously small pieces, taste whatever you like and eat until you are well satisfied and utterly sated. BUT [the Hebrew slang originating from the Arabic equivalent of

Adds our submitter: “Presumably, noise is a problem — I was just tickled by how much I was permitted to do, as long as I kept my mouth shut.”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Middle East, the U.S. Armed forces aren’t quite so “anything goes.” Except, apparently, when it comes to shitting in the shower.

Oh oh oh, you said DO NOT do

related: Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?

Tags: Hebrew · kitchen · military · noise · office · shit · The Middle East

And yet…the pink flowers?

March 29th, 2009 · 81 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in Hartford, Connecticut: “We’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”

I appreciate the initial sentiment here — I really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that begins with “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” to a watery grave. so, for a brief flash in time, the note-writer had me. But then…the irregular Capitalizations, the excessive exclamation points!! and (seriously?) the pink flowery clip art…I’d say those make for some serious deductions in both the “technical merit” and “artistic impression” categories.

Ladies: None of this "If you sprinkle when you tinkle" crap. If you want to squat Go Ahead - BUT Have the DECENCY To clean up after YOURSELF! Those who sit will Appreciate it! As will the Cleaning staff!

Judges — what say you of the final tally?

related: the rhyme that must be flushed

Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Hartford · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · irregular capitalization · office · piss · toilet

But what about Hawaiian shirt day?

March 23rd, 2009 · 116 Comments

Our submitter, Glenn, says this all-staff e-mail “just kinda sucked the life out of us” around his office. “It was like a Mom saying ‘Guess what, kids?” in a really excited voice, and then saying ‘You’re going to the dentist!!!‘”

so, life is still good!

But the best part of this note — besides the pitch-perfect forced jollity — is the fact that at the time this message was sent, only one person in the office (Glenn) happened to have long sideburns and a “fun” faux hawk. So, gosh darn it, life is still good!

related: the classic all-staff e-mail

Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · now that's management · office · rhetorical question · Texas

The case for single-sex toilets

March 17th, 2009 · 139 Comments

“In the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in Berkeley, California. Everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” A female coworker responded with the note below.

Turn around. Did everything flush? Did you wipe the seat and put it back down? Have some common courtesy. We don't want to know your business. Thanks

And then, well, the lines were drawn.

Please DO NOT flush any feminine products in the toilet!

Please also avoid flushing the following Masculine Products in the toilet: Electric razors, Sporting equipment, T.V. remotes, Guns, Excessive Aggression

related: dude kinda has a point

Tags: battle of the sexes · Berkeley · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · fed-up librarian · office · toilet

The Candyman Can’t

March 13th, 2009 · 155 Comments

“One morning last summer,” writes Stephanie in Illinois, “my brother and I arrived at the company where we worked to find these notes posted to the candy vending machine. (Mind you, it was 8:45 a.m.) Apparently, the man who fills the vending machines — a.k.a ‘Mr. Candyman’ — had failed to restock the machine for a week, and the ladies of the office had had enough.”

I mean, really. we’re talking about a serious breach of the social contract here, people!

A [sic] Empty Machine is Unaceptable [sic]! Mr. Candyman, you did not keep your WORD! This machine has been empty since Tues last week.

Stephanie and I were both particularly tickled by the the “gas prices” note at top right. (“What does that even mean?” she wonders.)

Gas prices are high but that doesn't do much when our stomach starts to growl!! Hungry!!

Meanwhile, Lisa in Nashville spotted this note posted on the vending machine in the studio arts building at Vanderbilt University. “There had been many previous notes asking (nicely) for more Twizzlers,” Lisa says, but as desperation set in, at least one distraught staff member decided to get lyrical on Candyman’s ass.

Candyman, oh candyman...,Where have you gone? The twizzler slot is empty. Oh yes, we have none. What burden we bear, what sadness we hold, for we thought twizzlers we soon would behold.

related: The Pepsi Challenge

Tags: candy · food · Illinois · office · pleasantries as afterthought · questionable logic · raging against the machine · sad face · spelling and grammar police · vending machine drama