Entries Tagged as 'office'

The classic all-staff e-mail

February 5th, 2009 · 99 Comments

Shirley in Canada says one of her coworkers sent this e-mail to the entire building — several hundred people in all — after what we can only assume was an unsuccessful half-day cooling-off period. (Or perhaps just several hours spent choosing the most whimsically enraged font/color combination.)

To Whomever helped themselves to my Jarhead poster that hung in my cubicle. there are many other pictures you forgot to steal as well, along with things in drawers and foodstuffs you could have claimed as your own. I guess I'll just leave these out for you when the feeling strikes again that you'd like to pillage my cubicle for your own gain.

Meanwhile, this all-staff e-mail was sent to over 400 employees in Australia — “more than half of whom don’t even work in the same postcode.”

I'd like to thank who ever left the car magazine on my desk for me to read. That was really lovely. Thank you.

related: fight or flight

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · Canada · e-mail · guilt trip · office · stealing · thanks (but not really)

Just another picture to burn

January 21st, 2009 · 74 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Pittsburgh says this note was sitting atop a copy-room filing cabinet — and a stack of 50 or so identical print-outs of the Jo Bros. “Guess someone in the office is on Team Taylor Swift!”

GREAT USE OF RESOURCES!

related: Let’s not mince words

extra credit: Taylor Swift’s passive-aggressive swipe at Joe Jonas [youtube]

Tags: ex drama · office · office supplies · Pittsburgh

Trained to eat things that would make a billy goat puke

January 15th, 2009 · 182 Comments

Dale in El Segundo, California has the thankless job of ordering office supplies, coffee and whatnot for the cube-farm where he works. Really, really thankless. This note appeared on his desk one day attached to a packet of no-sugar-added hot chocolate.

Seriously Dale, Did you think this would get past me? Sugarless Hot Chocolate will not work. Dan "When your [sic] pushed, killing is as easy as breathing" - Rambo

related: refrain/stop/discontinue

Tags: and that's an order · beverages · California · cocoa · not-so-veiled threats · office

He sounds like a real catch

January 13th, 2009 · 87 Comments

“This guy at my boyfriend’s office sent out an invite  — using the company email — for a ‘we’re single, let’s mingle party,’” says our anonymous submitter in Brookline, Mass. And apparently, this wasn’t the first time.

Another invite to a party that most of your probably won't show up to

Even funnier than the subject line, our submitter adds, was the party dress code: business casual.

related: You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits

Tags: all-staff e-mail · cry me a freaking river · e-mail · it's my party · Massachusetts · office

Sigh-ned

January 11th, 2009 · 89 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”

HEY YOU! Yeah, YOU!! EMPTY THIS EVERY TIME!! THAT YOU USE IT!! SIGHNED [sic] - TICKED OFF!!

related: Especially Deborah

Tags: Cleveland · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · office · Ohio · spelling and grammar police

And a Happy New Year to you!

January 2nd, 2009 · 41 Comments

Just a humble suggestion for 2009…

Why don't you make your New Years resolution learning how to park?

(Spotted by Charles in Minneapolis)

Tags: holiday spirit · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · office · parking

The pointed politics of spoon ownership

December 13th, 2008 · 63 Comments

The spoon may lack the aggressive physique of its more acute brethren, the knife and fork, but make no mistake: it is the passive-aggressive utensil of choice.

Why else would these spoons, spotted by Melissa at her office in Harlingen, Texas, be assuming a leadership position among this group of discontented silverware? We received word of this neglect on December 3, and can only speculate as to how furious the spoons were forced to become before getting the attention they deserve.

We the spoons, in order to form a more crusty union ...

This kind of spoon-related standoff is hardly an isolated occurence, however…as Garett witnessed with this bulletin board display of spoon-napping from the local community center.

Becky Wants her Spoon!

related post: the silverware segregationist

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · office · spoons · visual aids

Thx for your honesty

November 27th, 2008 · 83 Comments

Happy Thxgiving, everyone!

If you can't cook DON'T TRY

related: It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

Tags: holiday spirit · office · party planning committee · San Francisco · Thanksgiving

Do that to me one more time…

November 23rd, 2008 · 116 Comments

The most passive-aggressive thing about this note? Well, our submitter admits: “I do play soundtracks just to annoy him. Maybe next time he shouldn’t dance with other people’s significant others at the office holiday party.”

I know I've said this before so I don't think I should have to say it again, but I swear, if you play the soundtrack to Hairspray one more time, I'm going to lose it. Not everyone likes show tunes or musicals, and I get the feeling you're only doing it now to annoy me!!! Play something good, like the Starland Vocal Band or Captain and Tenille and I'll be fine. Thanks! Andrew P.S. Don't touch my stuff!

related: It was an ironic dance party, okay?

Tags: Massachusetts · music · office · p.s. · touching

Sincerely, disappointed

November 20th, 2008 · 126 Comments

Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”

WHOEVER HAD THE GENIUS IDEA TO BLOW UP PAPER, OR WHATEVER YOU USED, IN THE MICROWAVE AND DIDN'T CLEAN IT UP, KUDOS TO YOU AND YOUR SLOPPY BEHAVIOR. I'M ASSUMING YOU LIVE EXACTLY LIKE A PIG.

WEBSTER'S DEFINITION OF CLEAN: 1. Free from dirt; unsoiled; unstained 2. Free from foreign or extraneous matter 3. Habitually free of dirt WEBSTER'S DEFINITION OF CLEANLINESS: Neat, immaculate, clean, clear, pure refer to freedom from soiling, flaw, stain or mixture

And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.

To whoever made the microwave mess: The microwave is a SHARED kitchen appliance.  By not cleaning it up, you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, Disappointed

To whoever made the microwave mess: The microwave is a SHARED kitchen appliance.  By not cleaning it up, you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, Disappointed

Hey anonymous Coward who left the note: Be a Man. Spend less time writing notes and more time cleaning up the microwave.

related: To each his own microwave

extra credit: The Office: “Frame Toby”

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · fiction · high on highlighter · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · not-so-veiled threats · obnoxious definition · office · spelling and grammar police