Entries Tagged as 'office'

But what about Hawaiian shirt day?

March 23rd, 2009 · 116 Comments

Our submitter, Glenn, says this all-staff e-mail “just kinda sucked the life out of us” around his office. “It was like a Mom saying ‘Guess what, kids?” in a really excited voice, and then saying ‘You’re going to the dentist!!!‘”

so, life is still good!

But the best part of this note — besides the pitch-perfect forced jollity — is the fact that at the time this message was sent, only one person in the office (Glenn) happened to have long sideburns and a “fun” faux hawk. So, gosh darn it, life is still good!

related: the classic all-staff e-mail

Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · now that's management · office · rhetorical question · Texas

The case for single-sex toilets

March 17th, 2009 · 139 Comments

“In the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in Berkeley, California. Everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” A female coworker responded with the note below.

Turn around. Did everything flush? Did you wipe the seat and put it back down? Have some common courtesy. We don't want to know your business. Thanks

And then, well, the lines were drawn.

Please DO NOT flush any feminine products in the toilet!

Please also avoid flushing the following Masculine Products in the toilet: Electric razors, Sporting equipment, T.V. remotes, Guns, Excessive Aggression

related: dude kinda has a point

Tags: battle of the sexes · Berkeley · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · fed-up librarian · office · toilet

The Candyman Can’t

March 13th, 2009 · 155 Comments

“One morning last summer,” writes Stephanie in Illinois, “my brother and I arrived at the company where we worked to find these notes posted to the candy vending machine. (Mind you, it was 8:45 a.m.) Apparently, the man who fills the vending machines — a.k.a ‘Mr. Candyman’ — had failed to restock the machine for a week, and the ladies of the office had had enough.”

I mean, really. we’re talking about a serious breach of the social contract here, people!

A [sic] Empty Machine is Unaceptable [sic]! Mr. Candyman, you did not keep your WORD! This machine has been empty since Tues last week.

Stephanie and I were both particularly tickled by the the “gas prices” note at top right. (“What does that even mean?” she wonders.)

Gas prices are high but that doesn't do much when our stomach starts to growl!! Hungry!!

Meanwhile, Lisa in Nashville spotted this note posted on the vending machine in the studio arts building at Vanderbilt University. “There had been many previous notes asking (nicely) for more Twizzlers,” Lisa says, but as desperation set in, at least one distraught staff member decided to get lyrical on Candyman’s ass.

Candyman, oh candyman...,Where have you gone? The twizzler slot is empty. Oh yes, we have none. What burden we bear, what sadness we hold, for we thought twizzlers we soon would behold.

related: The Pepsi Challenge

Tags: candy · food · Illinois · office · pleasantries as afterthought · questionable logic · raging against the machine · sad face · spelling and grammar police · vending machine drama

Right/wrong justified

March 1st, 2009 · 57 Comments

Attention graphic designers: perhaps you should think about making passive-aggressive notes a standard part of your corporate identity package? At the office of our anonymous submitter in Utrecht, the employees had to make matters into their own hands.

Dear all: Please put your name on your foods & drinks, otherwise it will be thrown away (no joke)


Dear Colleagues, please make signs in Georgia black, ragged right, roman or italic only. Otherwise they will be removed. (also no joke)

P.S For only $10, Lure Design will help satisfy both your typography fetish and your passive-aggressive nature!

I promise I will never use Hobo, Comic Sans or Papyrus ever again

Or at Design Police, you can download your own visual enforcement kit for free.

related: Just severe enough
extra credit: georgia on my mind [inspiration bit]

Tags: office cop

Daft Flush

February 27th, 2009 · 58 Comments

If you share a bathroom facility with either  a) evil robots or b) electronic music enthusiasts, then the [techno]logic of this sign — from an office in Paris — just might be convincing enough to work.

Push it, clean it, wash, update it!

(But prepare for the inevitable: “One more time?”)

related: Over and over – The Warning (passive-aggressive remix)
extra credit: Daft Hands [youtube]

Tags: bathroom · cleaning · office · Paris

Venting machine

February 10th, 2009 · 92 Comments

If you’ve ever bought Twizzlers from a vending machine, you probably know that there’s a good one-in-three chance that one tiny corner of the plastic packaging is gonna get stuck — and bang on the glass all you want — only yielding after an extra 75 cents is inserted. Some folks, however, aren’t willing to condone that kind of stubbornness in their packaged sweets.

DO NOT BUY THE LICORICE IT DOES NOT WORK. The licorice doesn't work? No, it doesn't. It just lays around on it's mothers couch all day watching Judge Judy and collecting unemployment. (smart ass!)

related: Who’s the smartass?

Tags: Canada · CAPS LOCK · office · rebuttals · smartass · stealing · Toronto · vending machine drama

Suck on this!

February 9th, 2009 · 99 Comments

Passed along by the unfortunate hacker in question from Littleton, Colorado…

what is up with the coughing? take some drugs to take care of that, or blow your nose, or suck on a lozenge...whatever you got to do. the sound might be annoying to you, but keep in mind there are many other people in the office who have to hear that constantly.

related: Stay home!!!

Tags: Colorado · e-mail · heartwarming compassion · illness · noise · office · oh no you didn't

Mothers, lock up your crackers

February 8th, 2009 · 89 Comments

Writes Michael in St. Louis: “I’ve tried my best to figure out the logic behind writing this note and then putting the salami back in the fridge, rather than simply throwing it away…” but so far, no luck. In any case, he says, “I’m glad that it’s been saved it for posterity.”

BAD SALAMI

related: Did you ever consider the possibility that…oh, never mind.

Tags: food · office fridge · St. Louis

The classic all-staff e-mail

February 5th, 2009 · 99 Comments

Shirley in Canada says one of her coworkers sent this e-mail to the entire building — several hundred people in all — after what we can only assume was an unsuccessful half-day cooling-off period. (Or perhaps just several hours spent choosing the most whimsically enraged font/color combination.)

To Whomever helped themselves to my Jarhead poster that hung in my cubicle. there are many other pictures you forgot to steal as well, along with things in drawers and foodstuffs you could have claimed as your own. I guess I'll just leave these out for you when the feeling strikes again that you'd like to pillage my cubicle for your own gain.

Meanwhile, this all-staff e-mail was sent to over 400 employees in Australia — “more than half of whom don’t even work in the same postcode.”

I'd like to thank who ever left the car magazine on my desk for me to read. That was really lovely. Thank you.

related: fight or flight

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · Canada · e-mail · guilt trip · office · stealing · thanks (but not really)

Just another picture to burn

January 21st, 2009 · 74 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Pittsburgh says this note was sitting atop a copy-room filing cabinet — and a stack of 50 or so identical print-outs of the Jo Bros. “Guess someone in the office is on Team Taylor Swift!”

GREAT USE OF RESOURCES!

related: Let’s not mince words

extra credit: Taylor Swift’s passive-aggressive swipe at Joe Jonas [youtube]

Tags: ex drama · office · office supplies · Pittsburgh