Entries Tagged as 'office'

Sincerely, disappointed

November 20th, 2008 · 126 Comments

Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”

WHOEVER HAD THE GENIUS IDEA TO BLOW UP PAPER, OR WHATEVER YOU USED, IN THE MICROWAVE AND DIDN'T CLEAN IT UP, KUDOS TO YOU AND YOUR SLOPPY BEHAVIOR. I'M ASSUMING YOU LIVE EXACTLY LIKE A PIG.

WEBSTER'S DEFINITION OF CLEAN: 1. Free from dirt; unsoiled; unstained 2. Free from foreign or extraneous matter 3. Habitually free of dirt WEBSTER'S DEFINITION OF CLEANLINESS: Neat, immaculate, clean, clear, pure refer to freedom from soiling, flaw, stain or mixture

And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.

To whoever made the microwave mess: The microwave is a SHARED kitchen appliance.  By not cleaning it up, you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, Disappointed

To whoever made the microwave mess: The microwave is a SHARED kitchen appliance.  By not cleaning it up, you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, Disappointed

Hey anonymous Coward who left the note: Be a Man. Spend less time writing notes and more time cleaning up the microwave.

related: To each his own microwave

extra credit: The Office: “Frame Toby”

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · fiction · high on highlighter · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · not-so-veiled threats · obnoxious definition · office · spelling and grammar police

Law & Order: Special Dishes Unit

November 16th, 2008 · 114 Comments

“These are the results of your typical no-one-washes-their-dishes-at-the-office situation,” says our submitter in Portland, Oregon.”There used to be a note above the sink that said “NOT YOUR MAMA,” but it was replaced with these gems, both of which sort of creep me out (and neither of which has ameliorated the dirty dish issue).”

Do your dishes - It's the Law!

I didn't get out of bed and go to work just to clean up after you princess!!!   I promise I will do all of my dishes here at [redacted] as soon as I finish eating!

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Oregon

Tags: dishes · kinda creepy · office · office cop · Portland

We didn’t “steal” your muffin — we leveraged it

November 10th, 2008 · 128 Comments

Sigh. Half the people in your department just got pink-slipped, your 401(k) is worth shit, and now, just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…they’re coming for your muffin, too.

All in the name of shareholder value!

Stealing food, especially Muffins, is UNACCEPTABLE!

(Leaked by Sayf in Greenwich, Connecticut.)

related: Lean cuisine
extra credit: Morgan Stanley cancels Christmas, jobs [dealbreaker]

Tags: Connecticut · Greenwich · money · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · touching

The Book of Cubicleism, Article IV: “The Laying on of Hands”

November 2nd, 2008 · 144 Comments

Anthony in Salt Lake City, Utah was a little perplexed when the new lady sharing his cubicle put this little number up. Odder still, he says, “is the fact that this particular wall was originally my half — she took everything I had on that end and moved it to the other side.”

Says anthony: “Apparently she thinks I’m going to poke the Messiah’s high school yearbook picture all day — or maybe the note is what he’s thinking?”

PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF MY BELIEFS DON'T TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

related: So much for turning the other cheek
extra credit: The great and dreadful day of the lord [dooce.com]

Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · office · Salt Lake City · touching · Utah

And a Happy Halloween to you, too

October 31st, 2008 · 92 Comments

Spotted by Lange from Cambridge, Massachusetts while campaigning for Obama in New Hampshire. Says Lange: “We decided against bugging them with our political spiel. (We assumed they were Obama supporters anyway.)”

To whoever stole our pumpkin: Please enjoy it since we cannot. Thank you & Happy Halloween

Meanwhile, corporate belt-tightening isn’t going over so well with the office grunts this Halloween. “This was the response to the environment/holiday committee’s lack of Halloween candy in the office after already ‘decorating’ the office with empty candy containers,” says our submitter in Los Angeles.

:(

In Oakridge, Oregon, however — as our submitter Tyree noticed — they don’t go in much for subtlety.

No Candy go Away

related: Pumpkin with a death wish

Tags: candy · Halloween · holiday spirit · office · party planning committee

The most disgusting thing

October 30th, 2008 · 123 Comments

Says filly in New York: “I think it’s safe the assume the writer is neither a) an English major or b) a feminist.”

The most disgusting thing is a nasty lady!!!! How can you use the bathroom and not clean after yourself!!!! Be hygenical [sic] and consider others!!!! Do yourself and the rest of us a favor. Clean up after yourself, you are not at home!!!!!!!!

related: more from the frontlines of post-post feminism

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet

Lean Cuisine

October 23rd, 2008 · 83 Comments

From Sasha in New York: evidence that the financial crisis has begun to trickle down to Joe Six-Pack.

I know the DOW just dropped 600 pts. But PLEASE don't eat that are NOT YOURS.

related: Desperate Times

Tags: college life · money · New York · office · stealing · thx

Let’s not mince words

October 12th, 2008 · 92 Comments

Our anonymous submitter reports that a certain less-than-collegial colleague had the gall to dash off this note while the perfume-wearer in question was standing at the photocopier less than five feet away. And, our submitter adds: “She did not attempt at all to disguise her handwriting.”

YOUR PERFUME SMELLS LIKE SHIT! WE CAN'T BREATHE!!!

related: Fight or flight

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · more aggressive than passive · odor · office · oh no you didn't

Just one question…

September 28th, 2008 · 119 Comments

WHY?!?

Seriously?

Dear Peter, Are you Retarded? Love, Sean

related: Two words: missing tarantula.

Tags: confusion??? · family · food · office · Ontario · signed with love · Texas

I’ll tell you what’s classy, though…

September 25th, 2008 · 157 Comments

“Let me preface this by saying that the ladies’ room at work is quite clean,” writes Angie in Stamford, Connecticut. “I’m not saying it’s where I eat my lunch, but it’s a very satisfactory restroom.”

It was something of a surprise, then, Angie says, when this sign appeared on each of the walls and stall doors.

COURTESY 101: Ladies - When you are done handling your business please spray. It is not lady like or classy to leave lingering aromas.

In particular, Angie would like to draw your attention to the lower left-hand portion of the sign. “There are several lessons to be learned here,” she says, “perhaps most importantly that one should spray one’s corpses prior to placing them in the ladies’ room.”

related: When you can’t blame the dog

Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · Connecticut · odor · office · Stamford