Entries Tagged as 'office'

I’ll tell you what’s classy, though…

September 25th, 2008 · 157 Comments

“Let me preface this by saying that the ladies’ room at work is quite clean,” writes Angie in Stamford, Connecticut. “I’m not saying it’s where I eat my lunch, but it’s a very satisfactory restroom.”

It was something of a surprise, then, Angie says, when this sign appeared on each of the walls and stall doors.

COURTESY 101: Ladies - When you are done handling your business please spray. It is not lady like or classy to leave lingering aromas.

In particular, Angie would like to draw your attention to the lower left-hand portion of the sign. “There are several lessons to be learned here,” she says, “perhaps most importantly that one should spray one’s corpses prior to placing them in the ladies’ room.”

related: When you can’t blame the dog

Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · Connecticut · odor · office · Stamford

A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

September 21st, 2008 · 146 Comments

The tenth-floor kitchen at this office has no fewer than ten of these painstakingly laminated, clip-art-covered notes — and our anonymous submitter says this kitchen is only the tip of the iceberg.

“Nearly all of the notes in our office receive the same attention to detail,” our submitter says. “Every time I come to work I have to remind myself that I’m not in a cartoon fairy-tale land of fun.”

Wanted: Refrigerator Bandit

but what about my strawberries and cream?

Mark your calendars

Watch Your Food

unattended popcorn will be given an espresso and a free puppy

no ping pong on the spaghetti with meatballs table

'mop and wet floor sign' sign

sink-side of kitchen

related: It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

Tags: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · clip art catastrophe · gloriously redundant · microwave · office · office fridge · popcorn

Just be glad you don’t know what’s in the coffee

September 10th, 2008 · 168 Comments

Our submitter in London snapped a photo of this note in the kitchen of the PR agency where she works. Exactly what you’d expect to find at office full of “communication professionals,” no?

To the person(s) causing kitchen unrest by putting the Peppermint tea bags with the Green Tea bags. Not funny.

related: Switch to tea

Tags: kitchen · London · office · tea · U.K.

The xenophobic toilet

September 8th, 2008 · 59 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Helsinki, Finland says this note has been in every stall in the women’s restroom at her office for as long as she’s worked there.

Puzzlingly, she says, “Most all the women who work here are native speakers of Finnish, so I’m not sure why the note is mainly in English.” (Nor is she sure what the author was trying to convey with his/her choice of red, yellow and green text.)

Please be gentle with my delicate pipes. I WILL clog if you put foreign objects in me, so please use the wastebasket for paper towels, etc. Kiitos Paljon, The Toilet

Oh, and your Finnish language lesson of the day: kiitos paljon means “many thanks.”

related: I asked Santa for a baby alive, and all I got was this stupid dishwasher

Tags: all clogged up · anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · Finland · Helsinki · office · toilet

French roast black, with a dash of deference

August 26th, 2008 · 203 Comments

Despite the logo on this breakroom note, Nikki in Fresno doesn’t work at Starbucks. (She just wishes she does.)

CREAMER IS NOT FOR THIS PURPOSE

related: Be curtius

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · Fresno · high on highlighter · ital overkill · money · office · overzealous secretary · Starbucks

The missing exhibit from the Carousel of Progress

August 18th, 2008 · 114 Comments

Sorcia McNasty in North Carolina says this “piece of art” is located right next to the paper supply drawer in her office.  “We’re not sure if there is really a problem with theft or if occasionally, you know, the machine just runs out of paper. No one wants to question the MACHINE IN MOTION.”

DID YOU KNOW??? The facsimile machine is not only a piece of art, but also a MACHINE IN MOTION. Sadly, it cannot perform its motion if there is no paper. Please allow our MACHINE IN MOTION to stay in MOTION by not stealing its paper.

related: The passive-aggressive note has not been destroyed; it has been solved

Tags: clip art catastrophe · Did you know? · fax · office supplies · the fax machine · WTF?

Especially Deborah

August 17th, 2008 · 215 Comments

As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama breakroom shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.

Microwave PopCorn Users (Especially — Deborah) Do Not Burn PopCorn Do Not Leave PopCorn Unattended Stay Here While popcorn cooks

related: Bizarre pardoning accident

Tags: Alabama · bold-underlined-caps · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · irregular capitalization · microwave · Montgomery · most popular notes of 2008 · office · popcorn

Like nails on a keyboard

August 7th, 2008 · 270 Comments

Nicole in Australia says this note was left anonymously on her coworker’s computer. “We work in a fairly small office and no one will own up to putting the note there,” she says…not that they necessarily disagree with the sentiment.

Think about it, though. Which is worse: the click-click-click of long fingernails on a keyboard, or the snip-snip of a coworker clipping his nails on company time?

Cut your nails!!! Or stop tapping them on keyboard. It drives us all nuts.

related: At least it wasn’t “grand valse”

Tags: Australia · noise · office · on behalf of everyone

Fight or flight

July 28th, 2008 · 196 Comments

In terms of the appropriate sympathetic nervous system response, an e-mail subject line like “big favor” is kinda the modern cubicle-dweller’s equivalent of “Saber-tooth tiger outside cave!”

To the South side of the office, If you are wearing a perfume or cologne or whatever it is - I had to run to the bathroom to vomit - I will tremendously Appreciate if you minimize wearing it. Thank you so much.  I was going to ask you since last week but I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you.

(Note: this e-mail, our Seattle-area submitter says, is from the very same person who brought us this.)

related: Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

Tags: all-staff e-mail · irregular capitalization · odor · office · oh no you didn't · Seattle · thanks (but not really) · vomit

“So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great.”

July 24th, 2008 · 234 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter from Canada: “I got back to my desk after lunch on a Friday and found this heartfelt note on my keyboard. I was touched.”

Thanks for all your hard work this week on the report. I had to fix almost everything because of you. There were mistakes (a lot.) I stayed late. It was TONS of fun!!! have a great weekend and don't worry about all those mistakes :)

Adds our submitter: “I worked my ass off on that damn report!”

related: Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!
extra credit: TPS report cover sheet

Tags: Canada · office · smiley · thanks (but not really) · TPS reports