Entries Tagged as 'office'

Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

May 19th, 2008 · 111 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted these notes in the shared kitchen of a “professional building” — one our submitter says is full of shrinks. Perhaps one of them could deduce whether “i.e. me” fits the DSM’s criteria for a diagnosis…or whether she’s just having a little trouble with her Latin.

i.e., me

related: eau dear
extra credit: “food odors at work” [chowhound.com]

Tags: casual xenophobia · food · Freudian shit · i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · odor · office fridge · oh snap

Try not to bite the hand that the dog bites

May 12th, 2008 · 69 Comments

While paying his old office a weekend visit, Jimsu from Katy, Texas didn’t catch the original note (or, perhaps, conversation) that precipitated this huffy screed from the mailman…

Dear customer: You are absolutely correct. I should've been more considerate to your needs. Therefore if you do not have your mailbox key you will not receive any mail. Also this is not the mailbox. It is located around the corner. Any mail left on the ledge will remain there. Your mailman

…but he did spot the follow-up from the office smartass.

 Mailman - Please leave a cafe latte & some flowers with my mail. Thanx

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

Tags: "customer service" · excessive underlining · going postal · note wars · office · oh snap · Texas · you be the judge

Yahoo! in the toilet? Read the writing on the wall.

April 27th, 2008 · 48 Comments

What’s employee morale like inside Yahoo’s Sunnyvale headquarters, amid all the chatter about coming layoffs, the possible Microsoft takeover, and everything else? well, according to one anonymous Yahoo! employee, in the toilet would be one place to look.

Says our Yahoo! tipster: “First they took away our right to stand on the toilets. Then they took away our right to surf on the john. But now — they’ve gone too far.”

is yahoo! in the toilet? just read the writing on the wall.

related: Yahoo! — Servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · group bitchfest · office · raging against the machine · saga · Silicon Valley · toilet · Yahoo

The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

April 21st, 2008 · 137 Comments

Homero in Portland had just finished heating up his lunch in the office microwave when he returned to his desk to find this “helpful” note — attached to an ad from the local alt-weekly — waiting on his chair. Though it’s unsigned, he says he’s pretty sure he knows which coworker left it for him. “She’s kind of socially stunted, but seems to think that a) she’s very funny and b) we’re BFF,” Homero says. “Um…no.”

I saw this ad and thought u might find his services helpful :P

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: "helpful" advice · office · Portland · smiley

Stop! In the name of clip art.

April 15th, 2008 · 80 Comments

Like this phrase, there are a few irritating little pieces of clip art that keep popping up in submissions over and over again. Hovering somewhere near the top of most-wanted list is this pouty little white-gloved dandy.

From the factories of Pittsburgh…

STOP TAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR FREEZER IF IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!

…to the cube-farms of Virginia, this perspiring misanthrope has been spreading his message of intolerance with impunity.

But, once again, it’s a note from a church bathroom (this one spotted by Jess in Boston) that really pushes things to a whole new level of divine didacticism.

No! Stop!

Can I get a witness?!

related: clip art crimes

Tags: bathroom · Boston · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · neighbors · office fridge · Pittsburgh

Maybe if it was Hawaiian shirt day?

April 11th, 2008 · 52 Comments

Alexa in Texas works in a graduate lab of five students. One Friday, she says, “our advisor came in around 9:30 a.m. looking for us. No dice: except for one poor guy, we were all out.” When the hard-working crew finally rolled in around 1:30 (or, um, 3 p.m.), they were greeted by this inspirational slogan pinned to the door.

Friday: 'A great day to work'

related: Paul Newman, the Franz Ferdinand of the fridge

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · lab rats · now that's management · office · Texas

Covering all the bases

April 9th, 2008 · 92 Comments

“It seems too many people have made love to the office water cooler,” says Lizzy in New York. And some of them, it seems, are getting a little sloppy.

Lizzy says the “Office of Water” thing refers to the fact that “Our office is full of water. Like, the fridge doesn’t have anything but bottled water and Coke,” but I’m not quite buying it. I’d like to think this came from the EPA’s official Office of Water (Benjamin H. Grumbles, assistant administrator).

TO: WATER USERS: Lipstick stains have been noticed the water spigot (the faucet). Please keep your water containers away from the spigot. Also if you notice any stains on the water spigot. PLEASE SANITIZE THE SPIGOT IF YOU PUT STAINS ON IT. THIS CAN BECOME A HEALTH ISSUE. WE ARE THE OFFICE OF WATER REMEMBER. YOURS TRUELY [sic]!!! Also if the water bottle is empty please UNPLUG the water cooler. Thanks

Tags: CAPS LOCK · D.C. · double-entendre alert · New York · obnoxious definition · office · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · that's unsanitary · water

…and the even higher risk of your ass growing too large for you to safely dislodge your head

April 7th, 2008 · 55 Comments

Originally unearthed from outside the hallowed Conde Nast cafeteria in July 2001, this digital-age relic provides a quaint look back at those halcyon days among the New York media elite — back when Gawker was still just a glint in Nick Denton’s eye, young Anna Wintour acolytes were still stuck in the induction phase of the Atkins diet, and print media still seemed to maybe, sort-of matter!

It’s hard to say which seems more charming about this exchange: the amazingly un-snarky response of the cafeteria staff? Or the fact that someone would deign to eat mayonnaise at 4 Times Square?

We have eggs; we have mayo; Why then NO EGG SALAD? Please don't force me to contact The Post's PAGE SIX!!

related: like a rotten sponge

Tags: "customer service" · "too inside fucking baseball" · excessive underlining · food · New York · not-so-veiled threats · office

My secretary, Sybil

March 19th, 2008 · 126 Comments

Dan spotted this triple-bonus-score of a note at the desk of a receptionist in MTV’s New York office. The craziest part, he says? “She leaves it up there all the time, just in case she calls in sick. It’s just up there, all day, in her face, reaffirming her violent disapproval for people invading her personal space.”

my secretary, sybil

related: where angels fear to spit

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · overzealous secretary · touching

Not to name names, but…

March 18th, 2008 · 84 Comments

World-renowned troublemaker Troy McClure forwards this e-mail from his department’s secretary in Sydney, Australia.

Would anyone know who has taken/borrowed most of the coffee mugs and tea cups from the kitchen on our level?

No big deal, you say? Take a second look at the addressee list. (Yes, JONATHAN, I’m talking to you.)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · dishes · message to all intended for one · overzealous secretary · Sydney