Entries Tagged as 'office'
Ruben in Pregon works for an Apple reseller where the managers like to fire up the sales team with little competitions. (iPhones don’t sell themselves, people! For that, you’ll have to hold out for version 2.0.)
When Josh, the store’s very own Dwight Schrute, was pronounced the winner of a recent contest, things unfolded pretty much the way you’d expect.
The only person more universally reviled than the office suckup? the new guy, of course.
Says Ruben: “Most of us are real sticklers for keeping track of new product, but recently we brought on this new guy, Victor, and he hasn’t been doing too well.” Ruben came into work one day to find this MacBook battery on one of the tech benches, along with these notes that explain the entire story in just nine words. (And three question marks.)
Ruben says this pwnage became less hilarious when Victor actually did end up getting fired. “Awwkard!”
related: Your last day of work was yesterday
Tags: confusion??? · fired · group bitchfest · office · Oregon · retail hell · whiteboard
It was a “killer busy” week at the office, so Gord in Ontario admits that he and his ad-business coworkers left the place in a certain state of disarray. (Such is the wont of “creative professionals.”) Unfortunately, the boss chose that weekend to pop in to give some people an impromptu tour. On Monday, these adorable little thought balloons were posted all around the office.
The boss never mentioned the incident again. But rationalizing, it seems, that a sleeping dog is just a dog waiting to be kicked, Gord and his coworkers turned the notes into a T-shirt.
related: Is this what a post-post-feminist looks like?
Tags: Canada · CAPS LOCK · casual sexism · cleaning · office · Ontario · that's disgusting · that's unprofessional
After noticing a tell-tale crisping sleeve in the garbage, Charlie in New York spotted this helpful directive on the office fridge.
(Though if you ask Jim Gaffigan, the thief was really doing the guy a favor.)
related: I swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign
Tags: "helpful" advice · New York · office fridge · stealing · visual aids
Jared says this sign was posted in both the men’s and women’s restrooms at his office in Salt Lake City, Utah. “It seems that someone does not like hearing people ‘pushing,’” he says.
related: Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?
Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · eww · excessive underlining · noise · office · privacy · Salt Lake City · that's disgusting
Which clip art extravaganza is the most gratuitous? You be the judge!
Is it this sign, from the Virginia office of — of course — a major mobile carrier?
Is it this little tea party of a sign from Cambridge, Mass.?
Or is it this one, from, yes, a church restroom?
related: Cubicle etiquette
Tags: all clogged up · bathroom · Boston · cell phone · clip art catastrophe · Jesus · Massachusetts · office · tea · Virginia · you be the judge · you're like so going to hell
“We really don’t hate the holidays,” says our anonymous foreign-policy elf in Washington, D.C., “just passive-aggressive coworkers.”
related: Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?
Tags: D.C. · e-mail · holiday spirit · money · office · party planning committee · spelling and grammar police
Our anonymous submitter from Dallas works in the creative department of a large corporation that’s recently cut back on extras like holiday parties and cake and fruit. This Scrooge-like misanthropy seems to have taken a toll on staff morale — even among the determined breed of office “fun fund” leaders.
(Click to enlarge; transcription below!
subject: Secret Santa
Since we have no more motherly types left (Denise, Andrea, etc.), I have been elected to be the cruise director this year.
We’re doing it from next Monday (the 10th) to next Friday (the 14th), since people will start going out of town the week after that.
We have a $20 max. You can spend it however you like. You can get your person a $4 gift every day, a big $20 gift on the last day, or however you want to break it up.
If you’ like to participate, please come sign up at my desk by tomorrow by noon. I will be drawing the names at lunch time. It’s not mandatory for everyone to play, but just do it. Don’t be a grinch!
If you don’t care what your Santa gets you that is fine, but if you do, please post a “Secret Santa Wish List” on your cube, so that they will have an idea what you like, and can go shopping this weekend.
Also, don’t give people used stuff (the person who gave me the half burned candle two years ago knows who they are!).
related: If you can afford $10 worth of flair…
Tags: actions speak louder · Dallas/Fort Worth · holiday spirit · office · party planning committee
Casey from Shreveport, Louisiana spotted this on the Coke machine in the office break room. she clarifies: “Henry G.’s comment is in reference to the increase in price, not Katie’s wanting more Coke Zero.”
Meanwhile, Breanna in L.A. saw this somewhat amusing notice in a liquor store on the corner of Hollywood and Wine. (“Did someone pee on it?” she wonders.)
related: I’d like to buy the world a…Gatorade?
Tags: Coke · group bitchfest · Los Angeles · not my fault · office · raging against the machine · Say wha? · Shreveport · spelling and grammar police · vending machine drama
Joe in Northern Virginia has amassed a pretty divine collection of office fridge notes over the years, the best of which portend various forms of karmic/economic/physical retribution.
related: It must have been a pretty big bite
Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · ellipses-crazed · food · karma's a bitch · licking · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · Reston · stealing · Virginia
Daniel saw this note in a men’s room on the 59th floor of the Empire State Building, where he confirms the toilets were indeed frequently left unflushed.
Tags: memo · New York · office · pleasantries as afterthought · rhetorical question · toilet