Entries Tagged as 'office'

ABP on the V8

December 2nd, 2007 · 88 Comments

Nobody likes it when food goes missing from the office fridge, but one V8-drinking facilities staffer in Savannah, Georgia wanted to make her displeasure a bit more official.

ABP on the V8

Adds our anonymous submitter: “As you can see, the pest control department took appropriate action.”

ABP on the V8

related: If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge? 

Tags: beverages · Georgia · office · office fridge · Savannah · stealing

What, no highlighting?

November 26th, 2007 · 107 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Dearborn, Michigan spotted this gem in a women’s restroom at her office of “several hundred financial and information technology professionals” — perhaps the future workplace of a “trifling” young UC-Berkeley student?

Unbelievable. Someone washed their HAIR in this sink, DONOT use until the cleaning lady cleans IT!!! Brushing your teeth and washing your hands, is normal, washing your hair is just plain NASTY and trifling! I hate to see what your house looks like!

related: I think it’s going to be a long long time

Tags: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hair · hygiene · Michigan · office

For your records

November 9th, 2007 · 293 Comments

I think what fascinates me most about this e-mail, from the head of the party planning committee — excuse me, “fun fund” — at an office in Toronto, is the subject line. Not only does the writer ignore the obvious “let them eat cake,” she vetoes the direct approach (“hey, fatty”) in favor of the utterly nonsensical “for your records.”

(click to enlarge!)

Cake and fruit day is just once a month

related: If you can afford $10 worth of flair…

Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · ellipses-crazed · etiquette · money · office · overzealous secretary · party planning committee · Toronto

Who are you calling OCD?

November 8th, 2007 · 147 Comments

This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!

To the person who took it upon themselves to clean out the 12th floor fridge: Thank you so much for your initiative!

(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)

Tags: cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · guilt trip · ital overkill · New York · office fridge · questionable logic · rhetorical question · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)

The Jake Issues

November 5th, 2007 · 186 Comments

Says our anonymous contributor from Los Angeles: “This is page three (!) of a three-page letter of complaints from my wife’s (ex) office manager to the heads of the company.” Apparently one of her co-workers, Jake, merited his own page. (No word on how this went over with the bosses.)

1. Jake needs to do something about his flatulence problem - this is a constant issue, which he thinks is funny - and burning matches does not solve the problem. A slip once in a while is forgivable, but this is just rude and disgusting. 2. Jake need stop using the speakerphone when I'm at my desk - dialing a number is one thing, entire conversation is another. 3. Jake should also be mindful of his speaking volume while he's on the phone. While on his phone, he can be heard at [redacted's] desk as if he's standing right next to you - that is too loud. Plus often he is standing over pacing at his desk while on the phone (or besides our desks when on his cell phone.) If he's sitting, the half wall at least helps to minimize a bit, but lowering his town on the whole would be best. desks when on his cell phone.) If he's sitting, the half wall at least helps to minimize a bit, but lowering his town on the whole would be best. Jake should be mindful that others partake of things in the office as well as him. One tea bag (or package of oatmeal) per cup not 2 or 3. If we have snacks, he should not eat everything until it is gone rather than allow things to remain available over the course of the day. Others may want to have the snack later, but usually if they wait, it won't be there because Jake's already eaten it. He should be embarrassed that he is known as the scavenger of the office.

Tags: bullet points · cell phone · flatulence · food · Los Angeles · loud talker · noise · oatmeal · office · tea · that's disgusting

it’s not, like, rocket science

October 25th, 2007 · 124 Comments

aarwenn from seattle found this note in her office’s cafeteria, which she says is a hot spot for bad writers with passive-aggressive issues. “of course,” she says, “here at Large Aerospace Company, a lot of us have ‘issues.’”

Tags: fun with euphemism · garbage · just wondering · office · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

“You should know it can come back and bite you in the ass.”

October 22nd, 2007 · 142 Comments

This exercise in how not to get a job is brought to us by an anonymous submitter in Kansas City. The worst part? Before sending this e-mail, this guy was actually in the top five.

Dan, Thought I would hear from you this week. I guess no interest. Part of the deal in life is you make commitments and stick to them, particularly   in the sales process. It really is quite alarming these days that companies such as yours cannot adhere to basic ethics. Such a shame. I guess that's why you'll always be that straight line with no growth. Too bad. At some point you have to look at yourselves and say we are so happy with 35 accounts or do we want to jump to the next level. I no [sic] my experience 25 year old kids won't get you there. You have to invest in ability. I don't know that much about you guys, except what I have researched. My suggestion is in the long term bring in people who have the knowledge, ability and relationship superiority to win. And also, don't blow off the people who tried. You guys should know it can come back and bite you in the ass. Some of us have a rather large influence.

Tags: "helpful" advice · e-mail · Kansas City · office · spelling and grammar police

If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge?

October 21st, 2007 · 244 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this note posted by a coworker on the office fridge.

When asked about the note, this coworker described himself as someone “with a penchant for an orderly universe and a strong desire to see food mingle.”

If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge

related: Cubicle etiquette

Tags: a little uptight · excessive underlining · inappropriate italics · let's try · office · office cop · office fridge · oh snap · San Diego

This shit is bananas

October 11th, 2007 · 96 Comments

Our anonymous submitter dutifully passes along this company-wide farewell e-mail, but says: “I have no idea what’s he’s talking about. Holla!”

It's been, umm, an interesting three years.

related: the farewell email to end all farewell emails

Tags: "helpful" advice · Dallas/Fort Worth · e-mail · farewell letter · office · spelling and grammar police

Can I lick it?

October 8th, 2007 · 98 Comments

No, you can’t  — at least not near the copy machine at Erin’s office in Indianapolis.

Please use the sticky finger & not saliva

Meanwhile, Alvaro’s office in Madrid is having licking issues of its own near the office coffee machine. (Translation: “Please do not lick this teaspoon/ it’s for collective use.”)

Please do not lick this teaspoon; it's for collective use

And the licking doesn’t stop there…

PUBLIC NOTICE: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM LICKING OUR WINDOWS

Do not Lick Pressurized Lumber

DO NOT LICK

DO NOT LICK FENCE

P.S. Before you leave, please wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Espanol · Indianapolis · licking · Madrid · office · Spain