Entries Tagged as 'office'
This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!
(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)
Tags: cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · guilt trip · ital overkill · New York · office fridge · questionable logic · rhetorical question · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)
Says our anonymous contributor from Los Angeles: “This is page three (!) of a three-page letter of complaints from my wife’s (ex) office manager to the heads of the company.” Apparently one of her co-workers, Jake, merited his own page. (No word on how this went over with the bosses.)
Tags: bullet points · cell phone · flatulence · food · Los Angeles · loud talker · noise · oatmeal · office · tea · that's disgusting
aarwenn from seattle found this note in her office’s cafeteria, which she says is a hot spot for bad writers with passive-aggressive issues. “of course,” she says, “here at Large Aerospace Company, a lot of us have ‘issues.’”
Tags: fun with euphemism · garbage · just wondering · office · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"
This exercise in how not to get a job is brought to us by an anonymous submitter in Kansas City. The worst part? Before sending this e-mail, this guy was actually in the top five.
Tags: "helpful" advice · e-mail · Kansas City · office · spelling and grammar police
Our anonymous submitter spotted this note posted by a coworker on the office fridge.
When asked about the note, this coworker described himself as someone “with a penchant for an orderly universe and a strong desire to see food mingle.”
related: Cubicle etiquette
Tags: a little uptight · excessive underlining · inappropriate italics · let's try · office · office cop · office fridge · oh snap · San Diego
Our anonymous submitter dutifully passes along this company-wide farewell e-mail, but says: “I have no idea what’s he’s talking about. Holla!”
related: the farewell email to end all farewell emails
Tags: "helpful" advice · Dallas/Fort Worth · e-mail · farewell letter · office · spelling and grammar police
No, you can’t — at least not near the copy machine at Erin’s office in Indianapolis.
Meanwhile, Alvaro’s office in Madrid is having licking issues of its own near the office coffee machine. (Translation: “Please do not lick this teaspoon/ it’s for collective use.”)
And the licking doesn’t stop there…
P.S. Before you leave, please wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug.
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Espanol · Indianapolis · licking · Madrid · office · Spain
September 30th, 2007 · 99 Comments
Presenting, for your analysis, this anonymous contribution from a hair salon in Bettendorf, Iowa (pop. 32,394). For the scatologically inclined vandal (and for Putz’s owner) the unconscious issues at play appear to be anything but borderline. College psych majors: care to address which stage of psychosexual development is associated with passive-aggressiveness?
related: I can’t stand this shit anymore
UPDATE: Here’s a little more backstory on the situation from our note’s submitter. (Warning: this might confuse more than it illuminates.)
the owner of a salon i work at posted this for the individual that had placed dog poop in the corridor that is shared by other businesses. they left the feces in the hallway shortly after her and her st. bernard, putz, arrived to work. putz goes everywhere with her. for the past eight months he’s grown tremendously, and his massive size at this point has freaked out other store owners. putz sleeps in the back room and he has suburb potty training skills — and his owner always picks up after him.
the landlord approached her [re: the feces in the hallway] and said he was very bothered by the possible health code concern. he later told her not to worry about it, seeing how it was totally impossible for putz to let himself out the back door, take a dump in the corridor, then turn around and open the door to let himself back in.
someone kept tearing down her note, so she added the written message at the bottom.
Tags: dogs · Freudian shit · Iowa · office · rebuttals · shit
Our anonymous contributor works part-time at a large, “troubled” high school in Milwaukee. Today, while making some copies, she found this anonymous wonder.
Tags: Milwaukee · office · raging against the machine · sarcasm · schools & teachers
September 26th, 2007 · 94 Comments
Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.
What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: Try a bite
Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing