Jared says this sign was posted in both the men’s and women’s restrooms at his office in Salt Lake City, Utah. “It seems that someone does not like hearing people ‘pushing,’” he says.

related: Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?

Which clip art extravaganza is the most gratuitous? You be the judge!

Is it this sign, from the Virginia office of — of course — a major mobile carrier?

Is it this little tea party of a sign from Cambridge, Mass.?

Or is it this one, from, yes, a church restroom?

related: Cubicle etiquette

“We really don’t hate the holidays,” says our anonymous foreign-policy elf in Washington, D.C., “just passive-aggressive coworkers.”

related: Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?

Our anonymous submitter from Dallas works in the creative department of a large corporation that’s recently cut back on extras like holiday parties and cake and fruit. This Scrooge-like misanthropy seems to have taken a toll on staff morale — even among the determined breed of office “fun fund” leaders.

(Click to enlarge; transcription below!

subject: Secret Santa

Since we have no more motherly types left (Denise, Andrea, etc.), I have been elected to be the cruise director this year.

We’re doing it from next Monday (the 10th) to next Friday (the 14th), since people will start going out of town the week after that.

We have a $20 max. You can spend it however you like. You can get your person a $4 gift every day, a big $20 gift on the last day, or however you want to break it up.

If you’ like to participate, please come sign up at my desk by tomorrow by noon. I will be drawing the names at lunch time. It’s not mandatory for everyone to play, but just do it. Don’t be a grinch!

If you don’t care what your Santa gets you that is fine, but if you do, please post a “Secret Santa Wish List” on your cube, so that they will have an idea what you like, and can go shopping this weekend.

Also, don’t give people used stuff (the person who gave me the half burned candle two years ago knows who they are!).

related: If you can afford $10 worth of flair…

Casey from Shreveport, Louisiana spotted this on the Coke machine in the office break room. she clarifies: “Henry G.’s comment is in reference to the increase in price, not Katie’s wanting more Coke Zero.”

Meanwhile, Breanna in L.A. saw this somewhat amusing notice in a liquor store on the corner of Hollywood and Wine. (“Did someone pee on it?” she wonders.)

related: I’d like to buy the world a…Gatorade?

Joe in Northern Virginia has amassed a pretty divine collection of office fridge notes over the years, the best of which portend various forms of karmic/economic/physical retribution.

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Daniel saw this note in a men’s room on the 59th floor of the Empire State Building, where he confirms the toilets were indeed frequently left unflushed.

related: Priorities

Nobody likes it when food goes missing from the office fridge, but one V8-drinking facilities staffer in Savannah, Georgia wanted to make her displeasure a bit more official.

Adds our anonymous submitter: “As you can see, the pest control department took appropriate action.”

related: If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge?