Entries Tagged as 'office'

It must have been a pretty big bite

June 29th, 2007 · 140 Comments

“My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator,” says Brian in Cleveland. “We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme. One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway. She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence. Within two minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.”
It is Ok to steal food from people (I'm aggerating): but I am a MOTHER-TO-BE who starved because took a bite out of my lunch meant and cheese.

So worth the effort though, right?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cheese · Cleveland · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · office · office fridge · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · preggers · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · stealing

Happy to be of service

June 27th, 2007 · 72 Comments

Cassie in Orlando is a preschool teacher, and brings us this note posted by the school’s director. “I cannot help but be in awe of her after this note,” Cassie says, and I have to agree.

Teachers, We offer naptime as a service to our parents and younger children. After all, we all know growing bodies and minds need lots of rest. I understand that the long hours and darkness can be tempting, but laying down on the floor with a pillow may be frowned upon by parents entering the room; not to mention being against state regulations for the supervision of children. If you are too exhausted during the day, and you continue to fall asleep in the afternoon, feel free to come to me. We can discuss the option of cutting your hours back to a more appropriate smaller amount so you may get more rest. If that does not help the situation, I will be more than happy to help you find a night shift position. Unfortunately, we do NOT offer night shifts at this particular school. Happy to be of service, [heart] L

A classic, no?

related: From the Manager’s Book of Quotes for Inspiring Workplace Paranoia

Tags: "helpful" advice · excessive underlining · heart · now that's management · office · Orlando · schools & teachers · signed with love · sleeping · spelling and grammar police

Wait, what was the first reason again?

June 25th, 2007 · 41 Comments

Paul in San Diego says this note showed up above both urinals at his office last week.

If you are not the person in the picture then you are not allowed to pick your nose and then put your freshly picked booger on the wall. And another reason for not wiping boogers on this wall is because it is disgusting.

related: The bathroom-stall booger epidemic

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · nose-picking · office · San Diego · that's disgusting · visual aids

Special people garage

June 21st, 2007 · 36 Comments

This is a special note indeed. The idiosyncratic spelling, spacing, and bolding are fascinating — and I love how the third sentence is so rhetorical it doesn’t even deserve a question mark. I think what I enjoy most, however, is the after-the-fact realization that the desired action here just wasn’t quite explicit enough.

Special people stop leaving your garage [sic]in the sink. This is not your home this is a staff kitchen for all to use.  Why should other people have to clean up after you Please have respect for others. Please put your dishes in the dishwasher.

(Thanks to Molly in Washington, D.C. for submitting!)

related: The needy little dishwasher

Tags: D.C. · dishes · dishwasher · kitchen · office · spelling and grammar police · that's disrespectful · You call that punctuation?

Four approaches to ice cube maintenance

June 20th, 2007 · 35 Comments

Exhibit a) From Richmond, Virginia: the pedantic approach

How to Make Ice 1. If the ice tray is not empty — empty remaining cubes into white container on freezer door. (Please do not just fill the empty holes - it makes getting the frozen ones out impossible.) 2. Fill ice tray with water. 3. Put back in freezer

Exhibit b) From Minneapolis: the conditional approach

If you are unwilling to refill the ice cube trays, do not use the ice. Thanks in advance.

Exhibit c) From Hartford, Connecticut: the ALL for one and one for ALL approach

ICE. PLEASE TAKE ONLY A COUPLE OF ICE CUBES...These ice cubes are for ALL staff and for meetings. Please be sure that ice receptacle is pushed ALL the way BACK in the freezer!

Exhibit d) From Dallas: the federal government’s approach

Those that don't fill up the ice trays after emptying them, should be taken out and SHOT! RESPECT others...

(Thanks to Erik and Kim for their submissions.)

related: To the ICE GOBBLERS

Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · ice · office

Do the rest of us a favor

June 19th, 2007 · 88 Comments

Looks like both the Mad Bomber and Richard G. Sells have West-coast counterparts:

favor.jpg

Grossed out? Yeah, me too. Blame Gregory in Los Angeles for documenting this one (!!!)

related: The Mad Bomber, Act 1: “Sorry about the language”

Tags: CAPS LOCK · die bitch die · ellipses-crazed · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · group bitchfest · Los Angeles · more aggressive than passive · office · piss · shit · that's disgusting · toilet

“Servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day.”

June 15th, 2007 · 30 Comments

From the Bay-area offices of Yahoo! HotJobs

Those programmers…so literal-minded, sometimes.

can u not uz hand lotion in toilet plz? work-wanks r creepy, thnx

(thiz onez fer u, slackferno.)

Tags: bathroom · double-entendre alert · kinda creepy · office · San Francisco · sex sex sex · shameless meme-mongering · toilet · Yahoo

Et tu, Dora?

June 13th, 2007 · 20 Comments

Spotted by Ivy from Nashville in the offices of Nickelodeon in New York…

You shouldn't learned this when you were my age, but...Please Be Neat and Wipe the Seat. And please flush!

Tags: a little patronizing · New York · office · toilet

Try a bite.

June 13th, 2007 · 23 Comments

A booby-trapped soup — sans note — probably would have been the more effective (and more passive-aggressive) approach, but, um, to each his own?

STOP eating my soup! I know who you are. I'm watching you. I mixed a little OxyPowder in my soup today. Care to find out what that is?? Try a bite.

If you’re wondering what OxyPowder is, allow Kenneth to explain.

Tags: excessive underlining · food · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing

Some suggestions for using the urinal

June 11th, 2007 · 17 Comments

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(from an anonymous urinal-user in Boulder, Colorado.)

Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · CAPS LOCK · Colorado · excessive underlining · office · toilet