Entries Tagged as 'office'

To each his own microwave

July 19th, 2007 · 110 Comments

Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.

It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

This microwave was privately purchased by SDT + is for their use only. Permission has been given by Facilities Services.

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

It has a PADLOCK!

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

This Microwave is the property of General Services/Accounts Receivable. If you would like to contribute to the cost and upkeep please contact General Services before using. Clean after use and ensure all food products are covered before cooking.

…which prompted this note on the wall between them:

I haven't got a microwave as yet but this is where i am going to put it when I eventually get it.

related: No smelly foods

Tags: Belfast · kitchen · microwave · note wars · office · saga · spelling and grammar police

Refrain/stop/discontinue

July 18th, 2007 · 41 Comments

“This note appeared in the office kitchen on the fridge next to our fancy Keurig coffee machines,” says our submitter in New York City. “The coffee pods are set out on the counter in a display, but when people couldn’t find their flavor of choice, they’d go into the cabinets to find it.”

Trying to understand this sign-maker’s design process (“No, still not clear enough. let’s hit return again, center-justify, underline AND change the color?”) makes my head hurt.

ONCE AGAIN PLEASE REFRAIN (STOP) FROM OPENING COFFEE BOXES THAT ARE IN THE CABINET. THIS MAKES IT DIFFICULT WHEN IT COMES TO ORDERING COFFEE. IF THIS CONTINUES THE COFFEE SERVICE IN THIS PANTRY WILL HAVE TO BE DISCONTINUED. THANK YOU

Adds our submitter: “Sure enough, not long after this note went up, coffee service was discontinued.” (It has since resumed.)

Tags: bizarro spacing · bold-underlined-caps · coffee · fun with synonyms · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office

Cubicle etiquette

July 17th, 2007 · 103 Comments

This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

Cubicle Etiquette

PRIVACY

"SMELLS"

"NOISE"

SIGHTS

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)

related: A clue your coworker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · gloriously redundant · music · noise · odor · office · office cop · privacy · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

What Michael Moore didn’t show you in Sicko

July 11th, 2007 · 30 Comments

Annette in the U.K. calls this one “How to make toast in the NHS.”

MAKING TOAST!!!! While bread is only provided for the patients, nobody minds our hard working staff making themselves some toast However due to recent problems to following rules apply to EVERYBODY

Tags: bread · CAPS LOCK · danger · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hospitals & doctors · office · U.K.

I’m sure you guys can deal

July 9th, 2007 · 84 Comments

Just in case this site hasn’t given you enough reasons to think twice before leaving a passive-aggressive note, Tobjar in Oakland, California passes along this cautionary tale from worsethanfailure.com:

Not too long ago, there was a small furor in the local media about a major disaster at The State’s Technology Services Division.When employees of The State came in to work following a three day weekend, they found their workstations overloaded with “cannot logon” and “Exchange communication” error messages. The Network Services folks had it even worse: the server room was a sweltering 109° Fahrenheit and filled with dead or dying servers….They worked day and night to order new equipment, build new servers, and restore everything from back-up. Countless overtime hours and nearly two hundred thousand dollars in equipment costs later, they managed to bring everything back online. When the Exchange servers were finally restored, the following email finally made its way to everyone’s inbox:

sureyoucandeal.jpg

As for the employee who sent it, he decided to take an early retirement.

related: When Ph.d.s get frustrated

Tags: energy usage · office · oh snap · temperature

Your mother doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)

July 6th, 2007 · 94 Comments

your mother would be embarassed by these stock images

did you mean

449441454_052595f9a5.jpg

mummy doesn't work here

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2007 · Nebraska · office · U.K. · Virginia · visual aids · Your mother doesn't...

The house with a chimney is a nice touch

July 1st, 2007 · 55 Comments

the house with the chimney is a nice touch

(Thanks to Jon for submitting!)

Tags: CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · smiley

It must have been a pretty big bite

June 29th, 2007 · 140 Comments

“My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator,” says Brian in Cleveland. “We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme. One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway. She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence. Within two minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.”
It is Ok to steal food from people (I'm aggerating): but I am a MOTHER-TO-BE who starved because took a bite out of my lunch meant and cheese.

So worth the effort though, right?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cheese · Cleveland · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · office · office fridge · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · preggers · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · stealing

Happy to be of service

June 27th, 2007 · 72 Comments

Cassie in Orlando is a preschool teacher, and brings us this note posted by the school’s director. “I cannot help but be in awe of her after this note,” Cassie says, and I have to agree.

Teachers, We offer naptime as a service to our parents and younger children. After all, we all know growing bodies and minds need lots of rest. I understand that the long hours and darkness can be tempting, but laying down on the floor with a pillow may be frowned upon by parents entering the room; not to mention being against state regulations for the supervision of children. If you are too exhausted during the day, and you continue to fall asleep in the afternoon, feel free to come to me. We can discuss the option of cutting your hours back to a more appropriate smaller amount so you may get more rest. If that does not help the situation, I will be more than happy to help you find a night shift position. Unfortunately, we do NOT offer night shifts at this particular school. Happy to be of service, [heart] L

A classic, no?

related: From the Manager’s Book of Quotes for Inspiring Workplace Paranoia

Tags: "helpful" advice · excessive underlining · heart · now that's management · office · Orlando · schools & teachers · signed with love · sleeping · spelling and grammar police

Wait, what was the first reason again?

June 25th, 2007 · 41 Comments

Paul in San Diego says this note showed up above both urinals at his office last week.

If you are not the person in the picture then you are not allowed to pick your nose and then put your freshly picked booger on the wall. And another reason for not wiping boogers on this wall is because it is disgusting.

related: The bathroom-stall booger epidemic

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · nose-picking · office · San Diego · that's disgusting · visual aids