Entries Tagged as 'office'

priorities

June 6th, 2007 · 5 Comments

from the offices of “a large internet company” in northern virginia…priorities.jpgthanks to liz for submitting!

Tags: bathroom · group bitchfest · office · smiley · toilet · Virginia

The souls of our shoes

June 5th, 2007 · 26 Comments

This important safety message is brought to you from an anonymous worker at a call center in Toronto.

Tags: attire · danger · e-mail · kitchen · office · spelling and grammar police · Toronto

Thanks for eating my lunch

June 5th, 2007 · 12 Comments

(Charlie in Los Angeles did not eat your lunch.)

PLEASE RETURN CREAMER TO FRIDGE WHEN YOU ARE DONE. [thanks for eating my lunch...AND MINE!] [No problem Guys. Bring some more tomorrow. :) JP

Tags: excessive underlining · group bitchfest · Los Angeles · office · office fridge · smartass · smiley · spelling and grammar police · stealing

this is your “last warning”

June 4th, 2007 · 10 Comments

imeanthat-1.jpg

a doozy from our pals over at the “blog” of “unnecessary” quotation marks.

Tags: moving/not moving · office · unnecessary "quotation marks"

The Eleventh Plague

June 4th, 2007 · 7 Comments

Oh, how I love (totally tacky) reply-all e-mails.

Will whoever took the entire box of Passover macaroons for him/herself...That box was meant to be for everyone! I brought it in for the office, not for one person. That is totally tacky. Bring it back.

Thanks to submitter Kate in New York City — who says she has a whole inbox full of e-mails like this from the coworkers at her law firm.

Tags: all-staff e-mail · e-mail · etiquette · food · holiday spirit · office · stealing

Welcome to the office!

June 4th, 2007 · 6 Comments

Explains JDB: “The blue note went up first, then we hired a bunch of contractors. The red note went up shortly after that.”

NEW PEOPLE THIS APPLIES TO YOU --> If you drink it - make it! If you spill it - clean it up! If you don't want to do either of the above - USE ANOTHER BREAK ROOM!

Tags: cleaning · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office

If you sprinkle ellipses when you tinkle…

June 3rd, 2007 · 24 Comments

Maybe it’s the manic use of ellipses and exclamation points, but this note makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Says submitter Erica in New York City, “As bad as it can get in the ladies’, I’ve been told the men’s bathroom is even worse.”

PLEASE LADIES........PLEASE

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · bullet points · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · toilet

Stay home!!!

June 2nd, 2007 · 24 Comments

Are you sneezing, achey, coughing or just feeling lousey? Well the best remedy for it is to stay home!!! And it is the best remedy for us healthy people, too.

(from an anonymous submitter in Maryland.)

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · illness · kitchen · Maryland · office · spelling and grammar police

Commenter confessions: dealing with office thieves

June 1st, 2007 · 17 Comments

re: “You left evidence”, Good Soul says:

In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.

Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again. Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.

re: “I swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign”, LQP says:

Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:

Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish

The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets. I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.

re:“I spit in mine”, briggs says:

Where I used to work, there was this guy who would drink from anothers guy drink when he left the room. One time he place his drink on a napkin and wrote: “I spit in this”. When he got back somebody else had written “So did I!”

 

Tags: food · office · office fridge · spitting · stealing · touching

Hey, fatty

June 1st, 2007 · 56 Comments

Awkward request, indeed.

awkward request

Tags: all-staff e-mail · hey fatty · office