Entries Tagged as 'office'

this is your “last warning”

June 4th, 2007 · 10 Comments

imeanthat-1.jpg

a doozy from our pals over at the “blog” of “unnecessary” quotation marks.

Tags: moving/not moving · office · unnecessary "quotation marks"

The Eleventh Plague

June 4th, 2007 · 7 Comments

Oh, how I love (totally tacky) reply-all e-mails.

Will whoever took the entire box of Passover macaroons for him/herself...That box was meant to be for everyone! I brought it in for the office, not for one person. That is totally tacky. Bring it back.

Thanks to submitter Kate in New York City — who says she has a whole inbox full of e-mails like this from the coworkers at her law firm.

Tags: all-staff e-mail · e-mail · etiquette · food · holiday spirit · office · stealing

Welcome to the office!

June 4th, 2007 · 6 Comments

Explains JDB: “The blue note went up first, then we hired a bunch of contractors. The red note went up shortly after that.”

NEW PEOPLE THIS APPLIES TO YOU --> If you drink it - make it! If you spill it - clean it up! If you don't want to do either of the above - USE ANOTHER BREAK ROOM!

Tags: cleaning · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office

If you sprinkle ellipses when you tinkle…

June 3rd, 2007 · 24 Comments

Maybe it’s the manic use of ellipses and exclamation points, but this note makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Says submitter Erica in New York City, “As bad as it can get in the ladies’, I’ve been told the men’s bathroom is even worse.”

PLEASE LADIES........PLEASE

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · bullet points · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · toilet

Stay home!!!

June 2nd, 2007 · 24 Comments

Are you sneezing, achey, coughing or just feeling lousey? Well the best remedy for it is to stay home!!! And it is the best remedy for us healthy people, too.

(from an anonymous submitter in Maryland.)

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · illness · kitchen · Maryland · office · spelling and grammar police

Commenter confessions: dealing with office thieves

June 1st, 2007 · 17 Comments

re: “You left evidence”, Good Soul says:

In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.

Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again. Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.

re: “I swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign”, LQP says:

Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:

Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish

The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets. I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.

re:“I spit in mine”, briggs says:

Where I used to work, there was this guy who would drink from anothers guy drink when he left the room. One time he place his drink on a napkin and wrote: “I spit in this”. When he got back somebody else had written “So did I!”

 

Tags: food · office · office fridge · spitting · stealing · touching

Hey, fatty

June 1st, 2007 · 56 Comments

Awkward request, indeed.

awkward request

Tags: all-staff e-mail · hey fatty · office

Cross-country elevator action

May 31st, 2007 · 27 Comments

One of these notes is from Los Angeles; one is from Lexington, Kentucky. Can you guess which is which?

If you are going to shoot Porn in the elevator — Please clean up after you are done!

Please do not spit in the elevator

(Thanks to Eve in Kentucky and Natalie in L.A. for submitting.)

Tags: California · elevator · Kentucky · Lexington · Los Angeles · office · sex sex sex

Who’s the smartass?

May 31st, 2007 · 23 Comments

From Lindsay in Burbank:

Who's the asshole?

Says the author of post-it #2: “The next day, she added a note that said, ‘Keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”

And from Jason in New Haven:

PLEASE DO NOT PUT MILK CARTONS ON REFRIGERATOR DOOR

(To the left, the original note. To the right, the response.)

If you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not that far off.

Tags: Burbank · California · Connecticut · food · milk · New Haven · office · office fridge · rebuttals · smartass · stealing

Switch to tea

May 31st, 2007 · 9 Comments

This note is like the teenager who manages to contain themselves long enough to grudgingly recite a lengthy mandated apology, but then can’t resist turning around and giving the finger afterwards…or the perky flight attendant who finally cracks when the drunk fat guy hits the call button again at the end of a long flight. Mmm, feel the repressed rage!

Coffee Etiquette: Please be courteous to your fellow employees. If you drain a pot or leave very little left, make a new pot. Don't simply turn off the burner and walk away. If there is less than a full pot between the 2, pour one into another and make a fresh pot. It only takes 30 seconds to put the coffee into a filter and push a button. If that is too difficult, maybe you should switch to tea.

(Thanks to Jenn in Hudson, Ohio for submitting!)

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Rage against the coffee machine

Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · coffee · etiquette · office · Ohio