Entries Tagged as 'office'

Your last day of work was yesterday

May 26th, 2007 · 19 Comments

I’m all, “whoa, they left him a note instead of telling him face-to-face?” and Scott’s like, “Yep, I guess probably because the night operator was a pretty big dude.”

Way harsh!

How’s that for way harsh? The numbered list at the end is my favorite part.

Tags: fired · now that's management · office

Next time, go for the Fiji?

May 24th, 2007 · 11 Comments

This fiendishly funny note comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Philly, who does not condone the theft of bottled water of any kind.

To the fiend that took my Deer Park water which was frozen solid out of the freezer in the door tip shelf!!!

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · oh snap · stealing · water

Be curtius

May 23rd, 2007 · 8 Comments

The stolen item in question here? A serving of creamer.

If something dose [sic] not belong to you, do not take it!!!!

Tags: clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · group bitchfest · office · office fridge · spelling and grammar police · stealing

And/or random things

May 22nd, 2007 · 11 Comments

Such a perfect little hat trick at the end of this note (submitted by Laura in Baltimore) — the four exclamation points, the heart, the “thx.”

Please refrain from leaving piles of work and/or random things on my chair when I'm away! It makes me want to poke my eyes out!!!

Tags: Baltimore · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · heart · office · thx

No smelly foods

May 21st, 2007 · 16 Comments

It started with “no smelly foods,” says Kathleen, and escalated from there.

related: NO FISH in the microwave!

Tags: excessive underlining · food · group bitchfest · microwave · odor · office · smartass

I spit in mine

May 20th, 2007 · 3 Comments

Spotted on the office fridge by Sam, who also brings us this little gem — the most precise vending-machine operating instructions ever written.

PLEASE STOP STEALING MY FOOD! (I spit in mine! Enjoy!) And I want my nice Tupperware back!!!

related: Spit & Vinegar

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · New York · office fridge · spitting · stealing

When you get down to it

May 20th, 2007 · 24 Comments

Thanks to Rachel for bringing to light another key battleground for office passive-aggressives: the thermostat.

Folks, as you know, we have control over the office thermostat above, but please, let's never turn it down to 55 degrees. Turning it to this temperature does not make the office cool down more quickly; it simply makes the air conditioning never stop pushing cold air. This thermostat is located too far from the A/C to reach such an extremely cold temperature (which is what would turn the system off and on to regulate the temperature). And when you get down to it, 55 degrees outdoors is coat weather anyway. In the large room at the end of the office, this endless blast of cold air can make it almost unbearable to work — things on our desks even turn cold to the touch! Come and stand near the windows and the A/C vents and you'll see. If there's an area of the office or a private office that isn't cooling properly, please have Nina help out by calling building maintenance and getting it fixed. But the general thermostat should not go below 70. Those of us sitting next to the A/C vents thank you very much!

related: This is your friend the thermostat

Tags: "helpful" advice · New York · office · temperature

Just severe enough

May 18th, 2007 · 12 Comments

From William, who notes: “Sadly, management thought this was too severe, so it was replaced with a long whiny treatise on coffee etiquette.”

If you leave the coffee pot low, you fail at life. Please make more coffee!

related: A coffee-maker flowchart

Tags: coffee · Comic Sans Alert · etiquette · office

Maybe next time you should try Power Point?

May 17th, 2007 · 25 Comments

The visual aid here is genius, and I love the piggyback note. (Once two people join in, the whole thing has a tendency to spiral out of control into a massive anonymous bitchfest.)

Please do not leave the toilet in this state. Other people have to use it too. Also, please respect that women use this restroom & please put the seat down!

Spotted by Steve.

UPDATE: the sign-maker writes in to claim his handiwork! Oliver explains:

I was horrified at this state, but I also did not want to be labeled as the person that left the toilet in this state. I wanted to clean up the mess but then how would I communicate my disgust to the unknown person that actually did it? So this was my solution. Document the offense including time found and then clean up.

Like I said: genius.

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · office · toilet

Nobody wants your disgusting tuna sandwich, but we’ll fondle it out of spite

May 17th, 2007 · 2 Comments

From Giovanni: a classic example of the “office fridge” sub-genre.

Please DO NOT TOUCH or eat. Thanks.

Tags: excessive underlining · food · office · office fridge · pleasantries as afterthought · touching