In Manhattan, a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes triggered mayhem overshadowed only by an actual disaster.
In Minnesota, however, it seems that some folks still haven’t heard the news that “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”At our submitter’s office in Minneapolis, a proffered can of pumpkin spice tea sparked a Midwestern snark-off, complete with smilies.
related: Grow an orange tree and grow up
extra credit: The Inescapable Pumpkin Spice Trend [thekitchn.com]
Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · note wars · office · smartass · smiley · tea
Writes in Bill in New York City: “When the water cooler bottle is empty, no one seems to know how to change it and leaves it for the next guy.’ His co-worker decided to go on the offensive.
My excuse? I am even clumsier than Liz Lemon. (And I know I’m not alone on this.)
related: So, the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?
extra credit: Water cooler etiquette, or the thirsty worker’s manifesto [cnn.com]
If the consequences of eating a Hot Pocket aren’t enough to deter you from buying them, you should know that storing them in your freezer at work or school is still a risky proposition. (And no, Snoop won’t be there to back you up.)
Exhibit a) Spotted by Anna in Oakland, California:
Exhibit b) Spotted by Diana in Green Bay, Wisconsin:
Exhibit c) Spotted by David in Austin, Texas:
Exhibit d) Spotted by Charlie in New York:
Exhibit e) Spotted by Angie in Atlanta, with apologies for the blurriness:
(Delicious, you say? Michelle? Is that you?) And lastly…
Exhibit f) From Princeton, New Jersey:
![To whom it may concern: It's not a hard concept: If you DID NOT put it in the Fridge, DO NOT take it out! Leave my Lean Pockets ALONE. [Response:] I am so sorry, but your Lean Pockets are so savory and irresistible. They call to me in my dreams. IN MY DREAMS, I SAY! I know it is wrong to covet another's frozen, microwaveable, turnover-like lunch entree filled with a delicious combination of meat, cheese and vegetables. But life moves so fast-and Lean Pockets know this. But do you know the dark pleasure of a forbidden Lean Pocket? Oh, it must be experienced. Take care; once you start down this path of frozen, microwaveable delights, it is hard to go back. BTW, the pretzel bread variety is my favorite. I'm just sayin'-in case you want to stock up.](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5025/5616318359_1aa9befe05_b.jpg "To whom it may concern: It's not a hard concept: If you DID NOT put it in the Fridge, DO NOT take it out! Leave my Lean Pockets ALONE. [Response:] I am so sorry, but your Lean Pockets are so savory and irresistible. They call to me in my dreams. IN MY DREAMS, I SAY! I know it is wrong to covet another's frozen, microwaveable, turnover-like lunch entree filled with a delicious combination of meat, cheese and vegetables. But life moves so fast-and Lean Pockets know this. But do you know the dark pleasure of a forbidden Lean Pocket? Oh, it must be experienced. Take care; once you start down this path of frozen, microwaveable delights, it is hard to go back. BTW, the pretzel bread variety is my favorite. I'm just sayin'-in case you want to stock up.")
related: Hot Pockets are the car radios of the communal freezer
Tags: guilt trip · have a nice day · office fridge · preggers · stealing · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR
Writes our submitter in California: “Our custodial staff is very careful about not throwing stuff away just because it looks like trash. This co-worker wanted to make sure the right things got thrown away, but might have gotten a little overly specific.”
The result? “An onion of confusion and garbage.”
related: Hey, that garbage was important!
Tags: California · garbage · office · Say wha?
While traveling in India on business, Melissa spotted this sign in all of the women’s restrooms at one office.
Note: Based on my experience with this site, I have to conclude that the fairer sex most definitely does not “define hygiene.”
related: The bathroom battle of the sexes — a true race to the bottom
extra credit: “Cleaner than Shit” Liquid Hand Soap
Tags: bathroom · confusion??? · hygiene · India · office · toilet
Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.
![Dearest colleagues, Since non[e] of our Moms will be dropping around to clean up after us like they did when we were little kids; why not recap the p-nut butter, close the cracks and wipe up your crumbs before returning to work following break of lunch? Perhaps wetting a paper towel and wiping up your spills etc. etc. Those of us who follow you into the break room would prefer not to have to clean-up your food remains so that we can have a clean neat environment in which to enjoy our breaks. For detailed instructions on procedures to employ following making a mess, simply search GOOGLE for](http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8313/8048795872_98a146fc20_b.jpg "Dearest colleagues, Since non[e] of our Moms will be dropping around to clean up after us like they did when we were little kids; why not recap the p-nut butter, close the cracks and wipe up your crumbs before returning to work following break of lunch? Perhaps wetting a paper towel and wiping up your spills etc. etc. Those of us who follow you into the break room would prefer not to have to clean-up your food remains so that we can have a clean neat environment in which to enjoy our breaks. For detailed instructions on procedures to employ following making a mess, simply search GOOGLE for \"activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break\" Fond regards, your colleagues")
P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.
related: This is in the way
Tags: California · cleaning · office · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation? · Your mother doesn't...
Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!
Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”
related: My Secretary, Sybil
Tags: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching
At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)
related post:
This is a candy-optional office
Tags: cake · Jacksonville · office
