Entries Tagged as 'office'

The nuts and bolts of soda pop safety

July 23rd, 2013 · 88 Comments

Stephen in Maryland build this contraption after his sixth or seventh soda was stolen out of the office fridge. “My boss told me there was nothing I or he could do about it,” Stephen says, but he thought he’d give it a shot anyway. “I went a little overboard,” he admits, “But so far, no one’s been able to defeat the system.”

Like The Club® anti-theft device for the Office Fridge

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Tags: beverages · Maryland · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · stealing

Are you lost?

July 17th, 2013 · 73 Comments

Apparently everyone is “doing it wrong,” says our submitter in Colorado.

In case you're confused, you've entered an office building bathroom, not a port-o-let at Coachella in July. That green handle on the side flushes all material down that nifty little porcelain hole. And there's no limit on how many times you can flush. It is possible to make sure all material makes its way to Denver Water, rather than making your co-workers deal with your spent meatloaf dinner from last night before they have to pee. Another tip: If the bowl and seat aren't sparkling white as you go to open the door, you're doing it wrong. Let's treat this bathroom like a professional office environment, and not like a meth lab bathroom in Greeley.

related: THIS IS NOT A METH LAB

Tags: "helpful" advice · Colorado · most popular notes of 2013 · office · toilet

Say it over and over until you get it right: BOYS

June 30th, 2013 · 50 Comments

Our submitter in Peoria, Illinois says one of the sales reps at his office is known for posting crazy notes like this all over the office. “He might have some anger management issues,” our submitter adds.

Don't say "I WAS calling you"..... its "i AM calling you ..." Was is past tense - meaning you already did it. Example: I was sleeping, I was thinking of you. I am is present tense NOW was is past tense!

There is no such word as BOYS'S its BOYS. Do you say girls's or kids's or any other word that ends in the letter s now say it over and over til you get it right: boys

related: If there were ever a time to hold your red pen…

Tags: Illinois · office · office cop · spelling and grammar police

The stars of the office petri dish

June 27th, 2013 · 72 Comments

I can’t decide between the cheese and the soup. Who do you think deserves the prize?

Food Hygiene Award Contestants: The pizza roll? The soup? The milk? The cheese? The tomato? The tuna?

related: What rhymes with putrid?

Tags: food · Melbourne · office fridge

Free creamer!

June 26th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Writes our submitter in Florida: “My husband walked into his office breakroom to find this note. He immediately went back to his desk to write a response, but by the time he made it back to the fridge, he found that someone else had beat him to it.”

If you want to borrow my creamer PLEASE ask!!! Do not take it upon yourself to take it!!!

FREE CREAMER! Just grab out of bag

related: Coffee, mate?

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · Florida · office fridge · smartass

Sorry, I can’t hear you over all the chattering appliances

June 25th, 2013 · 93 Comments

Our submitter in Fort Collins, Colorado was a bit taken aback at the site of this local business’s breakroom. “The level of commitment dedicared to naming and creating backstories for the appliances was…mindboggling,” she says.

Indeed, my mind has been boggled.

Hello! We are the [redacted] break room appliances provided by [redacted] and we would like to introduce ourselves. Hello, I'm Mike the Microwave and I am the newest appliance to join the [redacted] Break Room team, replacing Monroe who retired. Hey there, my name is Collin and I'm the Coffee Machine. Howdy, Dante the Dishwasher here! Hi, I'm the big guy in the corner, Ramone the Refrigerator. Most of us have been here for a long time and we are thankful that [redacted] has provided us for your convenience and use. However since we are aging, we need a bit more TLC so each of us has written a little synopsis of how you can help us maintain our integrity and continue to work as best we can. We appreciate you being considerate of all persons who wish to use us. Thanks and please HELP us with our individual needs.

Mike, Collin, & the kitchen gang

Dante the Dishwasher

Collin the Coffee Machine

Mike the Microwave

related: The Needy Little Dishwasher

Tags: anthropomorphism · blitzkrieg approach · clip art catastrophe · Colorado · dishwasher · fridge · kitchen · microwave · office · TL;DR

Oh look, Reddit exploded in the kitchen.

June 19th, 2013 · 46 Comments

STAHP.

Kitchen signs are the best! SMALL KITCHEN SIGNS ARE BETTER. I disagree. I made a kitchen sign but I eated it. If you are the making coffee first thing in the morning, please rinse out the coffee pot. Thank you. Every time you use the last paper towel and don't replace the roll, a kitten cries (and then gets eaten slowly by a hungry, endangered polar bear. The new rolls are located in the cabinet behind you. Please replace it when necessary. Thanks...from the kittens. (The polar bears? Not so much. Still hungry.)

Every time you use the last paper towel and don't replace the roll, a kitten cries (and then gets eaten slowly by a hungry, endangered polar bear. The new rolls are located in the cabinet behind you. Please replace it when necessary. Thanks...from the kittens. (The polar bears? Not so much. Still hungry.)

related: The Internet is leaking.

Tags: cats · kitchen · Los Angeles · note wars · office · shameless meme-mongering

No problem — ’twas a piece of a cake!

June 18th, 2013 · 91 Comments

“Our organization recently moved most of its employees from several small offices into one large office,” writes our submitter in Vancouver. “It only took five months for the kitchen conflict to ramp up into a full-blown note war.”

thank you for helping yourself to half of my birthday cake....I guess I didn't need the whole cake to share with my friends and coworkers anyways. ...and happy birthday to you too!

To the leaver of the cake: You're very welcome.

...and someone helped themselves to one of my steam buns (leftovers) in a takeout box but I have a bad cold so they'll get the bad karma back.

related: Let the rest of us eat cake.

Tags: birthday · cake · karma's a bitch · note wars · office fridge · stealing · thanks (but not really) · Vancouver

Please don’t feed the engineers

June 11th, 2013 · 19 Comments

At first glance, I definitely thought was one of those “don’t feed the zoo animals” signs. But then, whoa, an Aussie 180! Roz in Perth says the “fairly militant kitchen brigade” at her office posts notes like this all over the kitchen.

Did you know?  1. Ge[c]kos and other reptiles need to lay on top of rocks to keep warm 2. Plates, cups, spoons and forks aren't reptiles.  They are subterranean creatures that need to be deep down inside cupboards and drawers. Thanks for washing & putting away your subterranean creatures!

related: The saddest zoo in the world

Tags: Australia · dishes · office

Vomiting for dummies

June 10th, 2013 · 71 Comments

Mike spotted this in one of the restrooms at his Atlanta office. As amused as he was by the snarky comment-ALL CAPS-clip art combo, “I can’t say I disagree with the note,” says Mike. “That’s just gross.”

PLEASE DO NOT THROW UP IN OUR SINKS a sign like this shouldn't be necessary in a professional office environment Proper way to throw up Please remember to flush after you vomit. And to the person that did that in the sink and didn't even bother to clean it up, WHY DON'T YOU JUST WORK FROM HOME, YOU BIG LOSER! AS OF MAY 29, 2013 THIS HAS NOW HAPPENED AT LEAST 3 TIMES in 2 weeks on this floor! STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!

related: Don’t vom in the urinals, either

Tags: Atlanta · bathroom · clip art catastrophe · most popular notes of 2013 · office · vomit