Entries Tagged as 'office'

Not to name names, but…

April 11th, 2013 · 32 Comments

Seriously, Jay?

Today we had a situation where someone ate the center of 40-50 chic-fil-a- minis and left the bread. Please realize we don't want the bread you dug through. Feel free to either eat the bread or throw the bread away. This will help us all live together. Please read the following rules of functioning in a society. It may help.

related: S is for Sibling Rivalry

Tags: food · message to all intended for one · most popular notes of 2013 · office · public shaming

The next great civil rights battle?

April 9th, 2013 · 58 Comments

Our submitter in New Zealand, if forced to make a wild guess, says this missive “is probably from the woman across the hallway who stood in the middle of the floor last week and asked loudly, three times, ‘Who took my peanut butter from the fridge? Who?’” and then slunk back to her desk muttering under her breath.”

Did you know that we live in an enlightened society...Women have the vote - hard to believe, but, yes, its true! Same sex marriage/civil union - is alive and well. We can, if we wish, leave our peanut butter in the fridge at work (well - you should be able to!) That the premise of 'respect for all' is a given... It takes 5 minutes longer to put your dish in the dishwasher - please give it a go

related: A sticky situation

Tags: New Zealand · office · peanut butter

Well, that was a missed opportunity.

March 11th, 2013 · 18 Comments

Forget Tupperware parties — who could resist a Nasty Crap Container™?

This refrigerator will be cleaned out on Friday March 8th Please take the time to remove your items prior to the 8th. I will have an ice chest to put your lunch bags in. On Monday March 11th I will have a food container sale. Please visit my web page www.nastycrapcontainers.com

related: Don’t be such a miserable sod

extra credit: Fred and Friends “Bug Bags” Lunch Bags

Tags: office fridge · Seattle

No Soup for You!

February 11th, 2013 · 79 Comments

Writes Jonathan in the UK: “Nick, bless him, diligently cleans the office microwave when he’s at work every Sunday morning. By Monday, the smell of bleach has usually gone. However, I think the latest soup splattering may have pushed him over the edge.”

I spent a fair few minutes making this oven clean on Sunday and in 24 hours it is again covered in soup -  Firstly drinking soup is the act of a fool as its salt content will contribute to high blood pressure but leaving an oven in this state is plain unpleasant -  It means that those of us that that (sic) have basic hygiene standards now can not use the microwave oven unless we clean it after you use it.  Please if you had soup on Monday can you consider your actions and what you have left for others.  NP

related: If you thought your microwave was dirty…

Tags: food · microwave · office · U.K.

Please, no, anything but emo!

January 31st, 2013 · 21 Comments

Emmet in Phoenix says that at his office, “people donate magazines for others to peruse, but sometimes they grow legs and disappear.” Emmet recently found this (totally metal) back-and-forth about the issue…on the issues themselves.

This is a gift to the wellness retreat room. If you steal this magazine ~ like you did last time - may your gear get stolen or destroyed by a fire or worse yet: used on an emo record.

This is a gift to the wellness retreat room. If you steal this magazine ~ like you did last time - may your gear get stolen or destroyed by a fire or worse yet: used on an emo record.

I only borrowed it to finish the Metallica interview. Please don't steal my gear and sell it to an emo band.

I only borrowed it to finish the Metallica interview. Please don't steal my gear and sell it to an emo band.

related: The Hot Topic at this Year’s Warped Tour

extra credit: These Babies Are Totally Metal [youtube]

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · band · music · not-so-veiled threats · office · Phoenix

Remember, a smile is part of your uniform!!!

January 28th, 2013 · 89 Comments

“On its face, this note details a bunch of common-sense rhetoric about being a good employee,” our submitter says. “What’s hilarious and sad is how our ‘Service Ambassador’ thinks that a thinly-veiled threat like this is supposed to inspire fervent company loyalty and ‘outstanding service.’ Come prepared to kiss ass or we’ll kick yours?”

Food For Thought:  What if last night you got a call from corporate saying you were no longer needed to come to work? Your employment with the company has ended.  HOW WOULD THAT IMPACT YOUR LIFE?????  So, how about having respect for your job by:  1. Coming to work on time 2. Being in the company provided (clean) uniform 3. Wearing your smile 4. Valuing each and every customer you encounter & giving them outstanding service  IT'S A NEW YEAR...... HOW ABOUT SOME NEW ATTITUDES???????? YOU ARE FORTUNATE TO WORK FOR AN OUTSTANDING COMPANY - (redacted)  (redacted) - Service Ambassador

related: Motivational posters for a down economy

Tags: confusion??? · not-so-veiled threats · now that's management · office cop

How’s that for a group effort?

January 25th, 2013 · 57 Comments

Erin in Los Angeles says it all started with a simple “No staples, please.” Then the whole office got involved.

No Staples Please (picture of a stapler) paperwork on this show will be scanned

No Staples Please (picture of a stapler) paperwork on this show will be scanned No Papals Please (pictures of popes) No Staples Please (picture of the Staples Center) No Strapless Plese (picture of a strapless bra) No Naples Please (picture of Italy) No Staples Please (picture of food staples) Yes, PayPal Please.

No Marla Maples Please No Stables Please (picture of the nativity) No Capers Please (picture of the Great Muppet Caper)

No Gay Bulls Please (picture of bull in high heels with a boa) Yes, Draper Please! (Don Draper) No Biebers Please (Justin) No Stray Pills Please (Pills)

No Stray Pills Please. No Stay Pulls Please. No Scalpels Please

No Caples Please (faucet variety) No Steeples please No Pastels Please (Pastels is an anagram of Staples) No Pleats Please (same as pastels) Go Maple Leafs! No Staple Singers Please No Solid Gold Dancers Please

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

Tags: clip art catastrophe · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2013 · note wars · office · smartass

The Office LOL Police

January 18th, 2013 · 35 Comments

As it turns out, at least one study has shown that laughter in the workplace can actually improve productivity.

Of course, that didn’t help our submitter in St. Louis from totally freaking out when she found this anonymous note on her desk at her “conservative” office, where she says that although silence pretty much reigns, “I giggle and talk loudly all the time.”

I'm worried that you are laughing too much and not getting enough work completed. Sincerely, A Concerned Neighbor

Our submitter later found out that the note was a “prank” from a friendly coworker. (But — paranoia alert — was it completely in jest, or a p-a power play?)

related: To my coworker, the thundering cow

Tags: most popular notes of 2013 · noise · office · St. Louis

Hair-raising indignation

January 10th, 2013 · 47 Comments

This type of note, I think, is the absolute WORST.

This hair has been hanging here for more than SIX MONTHS. Has anyone else noticed. Cleaning people haven't.

related: This thing is in the way. Is someone going to move it? 

Tags: bathroom · Boston · hair · office

Ice Box-ing

December 26th, 2012 · 45 Comments

The most extreme case of ice hoarding I’ve seen comes to us from an office in Fort Washington, Pennsylvania:

I bring my ICE from home! Please don't TAKE IT. [Response]: You are very strange.

Personally, I think Nicolette’s “Aunt Anny” in California is onto something. (Assuming, of course, that people have the recipe.)

Make Ice Make More Ice Fucking Ice Bin (Keep it fucking full)

related: Four approaches to ice cube maintenance

Tags: ice · office