“Some of the people in my office are pathologically incapable of washing their own dishes,” writes Adam in Los Angeles. “I hope this doesn’t lead us to war.”

Yeah, yeah, I know, nobody washes their dishes. Really, the thing I appreciated about this submission was that it led me down the rabbit hole of QuoteInvestigator.com.

The real takeaway here? Next time you decide to quote the likes of Edmund Burke or Eleanor Roosevelt, remember these words of wisdom:

related: From the Manager’s Book of Quotes for Inspiring Workplace Paranoia

In Manhattan, a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes triggered mayhem overshadowed only by an actual disaster.

In Minnesota, however, it seems that some folks still haven’t heard the news that “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”At our submitter’s office in Minneapolis, a proffered can of pumpkin spice tea sparked a Midwestern snark-off, complete with smilies.

related: Grow an orange tree and grow up

extra credit: The Inescapable Pumpkin Spice Trend [thekitchn.com]

Writes in Bill in New York City: “When the water cooler bottle is empty, no one seems to know how to change it and leaves it for the next guy.’ His co-worker decided to go on the offensive.

My excuse? I am even clumsier than Liz Lemon. (And I know I’m not alone on this.)

related: So, the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?

extra credit: Water cooler etiquette, or the thirsty worker’s manifesto [cnn.com]

If the consequences of eating a Hot Pocket aren’t enough to deter you from buying them, you should know that storing them in your freezer at work or school is still a risky proposition. (And no, Snoop won’t be there to back you up.)

Exhibit a) Spotted by Anna in Oakland, California:

Exhibit b) Spotted by Diana in Green Bay, Wisconsin:

Exhibit c) Spotted by David in Austin, Texas:

Exhibit d) Spotted by Charlie in New York:

Exhibit e) Spotted by Angie in Atlanta, with apologies for the blurriness:

(Delicious, you say? Michelle? Is that you?) And lastly…

Exhibit f) From Princeton, New Jersey:

related: Hot Pockets are the car radios of the communal freezer

Writes our submitter in California: “Our custodial staff is very careful about not throwing stuff away just because it looks like trash. This co-worker wanted to make sure the right things got thrown away, but might have gotten a little overly specific.”

The result? “An onion of confusion and garbage.”

related: Hey, that garbage was important!

While traveling in India on business, Melissa spotted this sign in all of the women’s restrooms at one office.

Note: Based on my experience with this site, I have to conclude that the fairer sex most definitely does not “define hygiene.”

related: The bathroom battle of the sexes — a true race to the bottom

extra credit: “Cleaner than Shit” Liquid Hand Soap

Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.

P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.

related: This is in the way

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

related: My Secretary, Sybil

At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)

related post:

This is a candy-optional office

I didn’t pay much attention to this bit of poetic propaganda until I noticed it was posted at an office in the United Kingdom. Is the awkward meter of the writing below Uncle Sam some kind a subtle comment on American imperialism, or just pure laziness? I suspect the latter, but I’d still be tempted to slap a “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster on top.

related: The Vicar of Glibly