I’ll start with the moral of the story first: “It just goes to show you that passive aggressive notes are funny but not effective.” That observation comes courtesy of Janell in San Francisco, who admits that she penned the following note after her third coffee mug went missing from the office kitchen.

Explains Janell: “While a lot of people commented on the note, my mug never appeared. After six months passed, my boss bought me an identical mug just so I would take the note down. A year later, one of my co-workers quit. We found the mug in his office.”

related: Justice, with a side of fries

extra credit: The Anti-Theft “Plug Mug”

Yeah, I get that you don’t want to touch the germy bathroom door handle with your just-washed hands. But that makes tossing your paper towel on the floor okay…how? And this is hardly an isolated problem. To wit:

From Margi’s office in Green Bay, Wisconsin (just click the image to enlarge):

From Edmonton, Alberta:

From Brittany’s office in Chicago:

From a hospital in Durham, North Carolina:

From Indianapolis:

And finally, from Eileen’s office in Cincinnati, Ohio…

related: Nobody likes electric hand dryers (except maybe those fancy Dyson ones)

If you work in an office that supplies your cream and sugar needs gratis, consider yourself lucky. There’s something about coffee creamer that sends folks off the deep end…

P.S. If you’ve thought of a different tactic, it’s probably been tried before.

related: Coffee, mate?

Because dribbling isn’t such a useful skill outside of basketball…

Somehow I don’t think suggesting people sit down at the urinal is the answer, though.

Perhaps something a bit more Olympic in spirit?

related: Well, that seems (uri)logical enough

extra credit: Urinal Games [youtube.com]

“People steal other people’s food and drink so often in my office that security put up a notice,” says our submitter in Florida. “Apparently, the sign isn’t working.”

Instead, the notes left by the victims have turned into an ongoing office-wide joke.

And the latest contribution…

related: Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value!

Several months from now, I’m guessing this exhibit will still be open for viewing under Mark’s desk in Los Angeles.

related: Toy Story meets The Office

Rhiannon in Missouri opened the fridge at work to find this not-at-all-disturbing note from an anonymous office zombie.

(The perp’s response: “Well, if you say so!”)

related: Who moved my cheese?

This [plagiarized] note comes to us from a staff restroom at NASA’s Johnson Space Center. “This is just great,” says our submitter. “We can put a 7-degrees-of-freedom robotic arm in space that can build a space station, but we can’t get a ‘wall robot’ to work…or even send in a work order request to get it fixed.”

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, would you care to test out this motion sensor hand towel machine for yourself?

Aaaaand…there you have it.

related: It’s not rocket science.

extra credit: “Nice Work If You Can Get It” [This American Life]

At Tazza’s office in Sydney, someone (not Harold, that much we know) was so offended by a coworker’s half-made cup of instant coffee that he or she felt obliged to leave this note.

related: Rage Against the (Coffee) Machine

extra credit: Men Being Jerks to Their Wives about Coffee [youtube]

extra extra credit: Who Made That Kraft Single? [nytimes.com]

Scoffs our submitter in Los Angeles: “Because as a healthy, functioning, adult, you really need to be reminded that you’re a good person for cleaning up after yourself.”

related: Three never-ending office arguments