PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » WTF?

Thank You, Merry Terry!

Kerry — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:33:07 +0000

It’s a PAN miracle! After reaching a hilltop on a holiday hike, Mary in Phoenix found this decorated desert tree.

Upon closer inspection, Mary noticed this (only slightly cranky) message from “Merry Terry.”

Altogether now, everyone…

Christmas lights manufactured by a particularly hardcore Elf on the Shelf

Kerry — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 01:17:09 +0000

Angela and her father were poking around the local dollar store in Metuchen, New Jersey when we they came across these boxes of Christmas lights.

“We originally thought these vaguely ominous messages were meant to harken back to the ‘true spirit of Christmas’ but these threats don’t exactly engender goodwill toward men,” Angela says. “I don’t know for whom these vaguely ominous messages are really intended, but s/he must have seriously pissed off the manufacturer.”

related: Subliminal self-esteem killers

extra credit: Evil Elf on the Shelf

Welcome to “Real America”

Kerry — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 20:41:33 +0000

Reports Barb in Las Vegas: “A woman in our office, originally from the Philippines, just got her citizenship. Our often inappropriate receptionist wrote this note on her card.”

Yes, that really does say “no more climbing over barbed wire in the nite.” Adds Barb: “She also printed lyrics from West Side Story in giant font and hung them in the area where we had celebratory cake. So odd!”

related: America the not-so-beautiful

Clap Your Hands Say Nah

Kerry — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:42:42 +0000

“For the past couple of weeks,” writes Anna in Oakland, “someone in the alley or the building next door to mine has started clapping every day at 8:30 a.m. Just clapping. For at least ten minutes at a time. It’s been driving me crazy, and apparently I’m not the only one.”

Yeah, I can see how that would get old.

Guns? Sure. Tortillas? Hell, no.

Kerry — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:39:11 +0000

Spotted by Tiffany in San Antonio, Texas…

(Not passive-aggressive, just too amusing not to share.)

The not-quite-so-amusing explanation, courtesy of commenter NativeoSanantonio: This is at the Aztec Theater in downtown San Antonio. It’s a live music venue that has a classic country music show. Fans would throw tortillas on stage as a show of appreciation. It was cute at first but quickly got out of control. The performers asked for the “No Tortilla” rule.

Ceci n’est pas une porte

Kerry — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 21:33:46 +0000

Q. When is a door not a door?

A. If you ask a 10-year-old with a joke book: “When it’s ajar.” Otherwise…whenever somebody says so.

Exhibit a) from Trent in Melbourne, Australia:

Exhibit b) from Michael in North Carolina:

Exhibit c) from Laura in Greenville, South Carolina:

Exhibit d) from Shannon in Albany, New York:

Exhibit e) from Summer in Austin, Texas:

And lastly, a straight-up Magritte shout-out:

…and leave off the last “S” for “stolen”?

Kerry — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 01:50:50 +0000

Allie in Ypsilanti, Michigan was walking into her local Target store when she noticed this little art installation on the sidewalk outside. Granted, she says, “The closest Wal-Mart is about two miles away, and I have no idea how the cart got there either.”

The chalk artist had also drawn purple arrows across the parking lot in the direction of the Wal-Mart, and while Allie says she didn’t check to see if the chalk lines extended all the way to the store, “drawing the arrows but not taking the cart back would have been pretty P-A.”

Meanwhile, Michi spotted this piece of guerilla knitwork chained to a post near NYU. (“It was, on inspection, empty.”)

extra credit: Why Wal-Mart’s current business model is doomed [AdAge]

No “cat parts” in the sink

Kerry — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 01:31:01 +0000

Our submitter found the following signage at an engineering office in Salt Lake City, Utah. Adds our submitter: “For the life of me I can’t figure out what ‘cat parts’ is supposed to refer to — or why people would need a note to know it’s not appropriate to leave them in the kitchen sink.”

P.S. When I did a quick Google Image Search for “cat parts,” I ended up here:

related: “Place feral cats in box”

Closed due to impending anarchy

Kerry — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 01:34:37 +0000

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

Must have the precious…

Kerry — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 20:28:12 +0000

Amy and her cousin were enjoying a casual stroll in Toronto when they noticed this note in a neighbor’s garden — a note which Amy says left her with far more questions than answers.

I’d have to agree with Amy that the stand-out line here is the one towards the end about whether the tomato thief ever makes racist or ageist remarks. (Because…huh?)

Adds Amy: “The lack of grammar made me think that ‘young people’ were a new racial group. And why does the note-writer beg the thief to at least return ONE of the stolen tomatoes — because it’s so precious? And is the last line a threat of being infected by Asian lily beetle poison? I don’t get it!”

Who declared Opposite Day?

Kerry — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 01:42:49 +0000

We’ve already seen people throwing urine in bottles out of their window…and now, shit in bags? Who does that?!

(Apparently, at least one dog owner in Bailey’s NYC apartment building.)

Next time, I’ll burn the mail.

Kerry — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 03:27:39 +0000

Jillian and her roommates in Massachusetts recently found this note — which goes from 0 to 60 in half a page — outside their apartment door. At the time it was left, says Jillian: “None of us were home except the dog, who apparently needs to lose weight.”

But hey, neighbor? Even if they had been home, ignoring a knock hardly seems grounds for jumping straight to burning the mail. Apparently it is not a good month for chilling the fuck out.

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Colonel Mustard? Meet Major Peteve.

Kerry — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 22:05:19 +0000

“As far as I know,” says Meagan in Ohio, “my boss, an early-40s white lady named Sandee, is a native English speaker.” I made sure to double-check with Meaghan on this, because, well — just read the thing.

As Meagan points out, her boss “does not seem to understand that the pet peeve is the thing you shouldn’t do…or that ‘peteve’ is not a thing…or really, anything. How could you hit ‘print’ on this?”

Except to underline the fact that Meagan’s place of employment is a winery — one where open bottles of wine seem have to have a tendency to be strewn about willy-nilly — I must say I have no idea.

related: My pet peeve

How many times did this have to happen before they put up a sign?

Kerry — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 04:33:32 +0000

From a convenience store in Florida:

A petting zoo in Virginia:

And a U.S. Army post in Washington State:

(Thanks to Nicolette, Gaby, and Kharissa for submitting!)

related: Is this a thing now?