Entries Tagged as 'WTF?'

No Bowl Movements Allowed

April 25th, 2011 · 34 Comments

From Jake in Richmond…another one for the “WTF?” files.

Please Do NOT Attempt To Move The Toilet! Thanks, Management.

related: All MALES using this toilet must sit.

Tags: now that's management · restaurant · Richmond · toilet · WTF?

Your not narmal, Sneeky

April 17th, 2011 · 115 Comments

Tina in Jacksonville, Florida was in the process of moving out of her current apartment — apparently not a moment too soon — when she spotted this note on the door of her downstairs’ neighbor.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the content of this note (as best as I can follow it) or the truly sic spelling and punctuation. Altogether, it just kinda freaks me out.

Your not Narmal, Sneeky

So thanks, Tina, for giving me another reason to avoid what is probably my least-favorite state. (Not that I don’t cherish my time with you in Clearwater, Grandma Cookie!!!)

related: If it’s on Jersey Shore, it’s not coming through the door

Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · crazypants · Jacksonville · most popular notes of 2011 · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · WTF? · your/you're

“Place cats in box”

March 16th, 2011 · 53 Comments

A few months ago, one of the stray cats around Kristen‘s townhouse in Redding, California had a litter of kittens, which have since grown into a small army of vicious feral felines. Kristen says she and her husband were just discussing getting one those live cat traps to deal with the problem when they came across the landlord’s DIY version.

“Apparently,” says Kristen, “he expects us to wrestle one of these very angry animals through the hole in this cardboard box, leave it there to play with some makeshift ‘cat toys,’ and then call the Humane Society in the morning. It’s so easy!”

I’m thinking this landlord must watched one too many Maru videos on YouTube

FERAL CATS: Place cats in box. Leave out of the rain. Call Haven Humane 241-2550.

Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.

related: Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)

Tags: animal welfare · cats · landlords and property managers · WTF?

Mother of hair? Is that like mother of pearl?

February 18th, 2011 · 69 Comments

I’ll admit it: I had to read this note and the accompanying explanation about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower drain.

Dear Mother of Hair Baby, Please take care of your disgusting little child, I'm tired of seeing it. I don't care if you love it with all your heat, I don't want to see it. If you care for it so much take the little varment [sic] to your room & care for it there. Your Truly, Disgusted

But speaking of babies…as Massimo noticed, this Boston-area Walgreens is apparently hoping to capitalize on your drunken New Years/Valentine’s Day sexual escapades. (Or else they’re just really, really curious?????)

BABIES????????????? FIND OUT HERE!!

related: Please clean ALL your feathers.

extra credit: The incredible hair baby of Manchester [Dailymail.co.uk]

Tags: college life · confusion??? · hair · most popular notes of 2011 · preggers · shower · that's disgusting · WTF?

“Employees” must “wash hands” with “soap”

January 30th, 2011 · 32 Comments

If you’ve ever been tempted to go through an off-limits “staff only” entrance, you might consider whether that rush of forbidden adrenaline is worth the possibility of entering a wormhole to an alternate “universe” where nothing is as it seems…even the most basic rituals of hygiene!

Restroom is for

Employee must "wash hands"

This is

And if you think you can escape the way you came in…you’re sadly mistaken.

Entrance only: DO NOT ENTER

(“Thanks” to Pam in Texas, Tommy in Ohio, Lisa in Michigan, and Victor in Puerto Rico for their “submissions!”)

related: The ladies room is for “women”

Tags: bathroom · unnecessary "quotation marks" · washing your hands · WTF?

“You gave me an F? I’m reporting you to the FDA!”

January 25th, 2011 · 54 Comments

Near the start of the semester, a classmate (or, rather, a former classmate) of our submitter sent this this huffy message of “warm regards” to everyone on the course listserv. ”I guess someone doesn’t know how to unsubscribe from Yahoo Groups,” our submitter says. “Instead, by posting this message, she ‘flooded’ all of our inboxes.” And that is not a good thing.

I, for one, would LOVE to see this girl’s complaint to the FCC. I envision a bright future for her writing blustery cease & desist letters as an attorney-at-LOL until retiring to concentrate on angry letters to the editor.

Dear Class, Something came up and I have to quit the class. Please stop flooding my box with emails and get me out of this class and please do regard this letter and stop flooding me with emails. Or I will report you to the FCC and that is not a good thing. Thank you. With the Warmest Regards, [Redacted]

related: Be informed; Homeland Security will be.

Tags: college life · Pennsylvania · pleasantries as afterthought · WTF?

Faux (feu) pas

January 17th, 2011 · 42 Comments

To me, this note is like that scene about 17 minutes into an episode of Law & Order, when the detectives run into an overly-talkative building manager and ask him he’s seen anything suspicious lately. Then, inevitably, the guy says something like, “Well, now that you mention it, ’bout two days ago, one of the residents tried to burn some old bloody clothes in that fireplace over dere. I guess the guy wasn’t too smaht, cause he didn’t figure out that fireplace ain’t real. You know, it’s just for show.”

To Whom it May Concern, I regret to inform you that this is, in fact, a fake fireplace, and that your attempt to burn your old clothes has failed. Kindly collect your things and dispose of them properly.  Regretfully yours, Not the maid

related: When sleeping, you will get burned and die immediately.

Tags: Boston · neighbors · Oops? · Too good to be real? · WTF?

Sorry, I thought those were the *shared* office toenail clippers!

January 11th, 2011 · 68 Comments

Our submitter, Rob in Cleveland, says he found this note on his computer screen upon returning to his desk after lunch one day. “I honestly don’t bring my toenail clippers to work,” Rob says. “They were just hurting inside my pocket so I put them on my desk and forgot about them, and this is what I get.”

Thank you for the use of your clippers. Mine were to[sic] to do my toenails. They were really bugging me & started to destroy linings in my shoes.

At first glance, I thought the note must have been sarcastic — surely, no one would actually borrow another’s toenail clippers, right? — so I asked Rob for some clarification.

As it turns out, Rob is pretty sure the note was no joke. “The guy who wrote it is one of the grossest people at work,” he explains. And as for why he had toenail clippers in his pocket to begin with? Says Rob: “I cut my nails in my car on the way to work.”

Of course. Well, I’m glad we cleared that one up.

related: The Jake Issues

Tags: Cleveland · hygiene · questionable logic · that's unsanitary · TMI · to/too · WTF?

Pets? Sure. Foreigners? Hells no!

January 4th, 2011 · 167 Comments

I wouldn’t call these two PA notes passive-aggressive — just “pretty awful.”

First up, from St. John’s, Newfoundland:

FOR RENT: Basement Apartment - $600 a month. If you are from a foreign country in the Middle East or Asia, please, by all means, call or come by, but I will not be renting your family this apartment. Freshly painted, pets are welcome, close to all major amenities.

Update: As commenter Reb points out: The “ad” from St. John’s is actually part of a Human Rights Commission campaign that’s trying to bring attention to discrimination like this; it’s not a real ad. Notice, for example, the lack of a phone number.

But this one, from Davisburg, Michigan is 100% real — and, as commenter James notes, not uncommon.

Please don't park Japanese cars in front of my office park the damn things in Japan. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don't get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

Please don't park Japanese cars in front of my office park the damn things in Japan. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don't get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

PLEASE DON’T PARK JAPANESE CARS IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE PARK THE DAMN THINGS IN JAPAN. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don’t get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

(Thanks to Shawn in Canada and Sarah in Michigan for submitting!)

related: Dear Foreign Workers at the VW plant: we hope you enjoy these jobs…because we paid for them!

Tags: Canada · casual xenophobia · landlords and property managers · Michigan · misplaced patriotism · not so much passive-aggressive · parking · WTF?

Thx (for nothing) Sandra!

December 20th, 2010 · 76 Comments

Says our submitter in Las Vegas: “My mom found this — my brother’s Christmas shopping list — while cleaning up the house before company came over. (Sandra is my sister-in-law.)”

Poor Sandra. She doesn’t even warrant a regifted Mongolia[n] BBQ hat from the office potluck?

Sandra- shit in bag

related: Stuff this in your stocking, sister.

Tags: Christmas · family · WTF?