This week’s “WTF? Friday” contribution comes from Carey in Brooklyn, who spotted this warning taped to a telephone pole at a busy intersection in Long Island City, Queens. “I looked around carefully,” Carey says, “but there were no flying missiles to be seen.”

related: Passive-allergic

“I have no traces of child paraphernalia in my Mini Cooper,” says our submitter from Alexandria, Virginia — and she didn’t buy her car for environmental reasons. (“I bought it because I’m a Mini fan,” she says, “regardless of the global impact.”) So, as you might imagine, she was more than a bit puzzled to find this note under her wiper blade.

related: Herbie Goes to Washington

Which of these urinal notices do you find most troubling?

This one, from a London nightclub?

This one, from a construction site in New York City?

This one, from a campground in Russellville, Arkansas?

Or this one, from an office in Redmond, Washington?

P.S. “Sausage dump” wasn’t a euphemism.

(Thanks to Dylan, Paul, David and Lucy for submitting!)

related: Why I hate Miami

As a Valentine’s Day gift to you all, I present you with this epic love story (which Teddie in Minneapolis discovered pinned to the bulletin board in his apartment building).

Teddie’s love note to this love note: “I love that this person (he? she?) used commas, ellipses, and possibly a semicolon, but no periods. I also love how the all-caps rant in the middle segues into a plea to be Myspace friends again with an offhand ‘anyway.’ Also, what happened to her dad?”

Oh, Charles. You are so SUPER ATTRACTIVE I can hardly help myself. Deseray doesn’t know what’s she missing!

related: perfect for each other

Not all messages from the beyond come in the form of, say, a Jesus-shaped Cheeto.

“Usually Oprah and her magazine are empowering and inspiring,” says Bek in Cape Coral, Florida — but then she opened her latest issue of O and found this “Live Your Best Life weekend” sweepstakes entry code. “Now I know the truth. They should just mail the magazine in a brown paper bag so I could wear it over my head. *sniff*”

Meanwhile, Matt in Tulsa, Oklahoma was trying to submit a note right here at Passiveaggressivenotes.com. “Then the Captcha widget pulled out its Ouija board and cast its voodoo on my employment situation,” he says. “I almost cried.”

And then, of course, there’s always the bizarrely ominous fortune cookie…

related: Quoth the Buzzard: WTF?

It’s almost Valentine’s day, and yet the Christmas guilt trips keep rolling in! Savanna in Texas says her friend received this doozy of a card from her parents (the front of which said, “Joy to the World.”)

related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)

Noah in Richmond, Virginia spotted this earnest plea in the bathroom of “a funky little coffee shop” on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. “The sign was also on a bulletin board in the middle of the shop as well,” he says — “just in case the thief was avoiding the scene of the crime.”

And if you doubt Edie’s ability to get aggressive on your personal-art-piece-thievin’ ass, just wait ’til she catches you in the act. We’ll see how your bathroom art collection looks when she’s through with you!

(I’d like to imagine the follow-up note going something like: “Damn it, Edie, no one wants to see your ‘personal art pieces.’ For the millionth time…FLUSH!“)

related: Get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

“I was forced to go wedding dress shopping with a total bridezilla I know,” writes our submitter in Fredericksburg, Virginia. “Another girl with us is also engaged to be married, and she wanted to try on dresses too. Bridezilla just smiled sweetly and pointed to the sign posted in the dressing room. Her exact words: ‘Sorry, only the bride is allowed, and today is my day.’”

Apparently you’d better keep an eye on those shifty bridesmaids when they’re shopping for the bachelorette party, too. (Or else…cow them into submission with more threats of an unenforceable nature?)

(Spotted by Molly at “Kitty House” boutique in Irvine, California.)

related: What say you, Emily Post?