Nicole used to live in Reno, Nevada. Unless you’ve lived there, Nicole says, “then you can’t fully understand what a straaaange place it is, but this note might help.” She found it about four years ago in personals section of the Pennysaver. Four years later, Nicole says, “I still feel a joyous bewilderment upon reading it. I can’t wait to show it to my grandkids some day.”

related: You’re toast, Melba.

“On its face, this note details a bunch of common-sense rhetoric about being a good employee,” our submitter says. “What’s hilarious and sad is how our ‘Service Ambassador’ thinks that a thinly-veiled threat like this is supposed to inspire fervent company loyalty and ‘outstanding service.’ Come prepared to kiss ass or we’ll kick yours?”

related: Motivational posters for a down economy

Yes, Lorraine, admits, she works long hours at her job. And no, her mother hasn’t been over to her house in a while…but neither has anybody else. Nice of her Mum to refrain from DRAMA[!!!] about it though, right? (Krystle Gale, I’m guessing you can relate.)

related: So, Mom, what you’re telling me is to cover up with a latex catsuit?

This is just…a thing of beauty.

related: You don’t mess with Bob Mess.

While traveling in India on business, Melissa spotted this sign in all of the women’s restrooms at one office.

Note: Based on my experience with this site, I have to conclude that the fairer sex most definitely does not “define hygiene.”

related: The bathroom battle of the sexes — a true race to the bottom

extra credit: “Cleaner than Shit” Liquid Hand Soap

Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.

P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.

related: This is in the way

This heapsort arrived via an anonymous sender in Wellington, New Zealand. (Notice the menacing-looking knife at right…)

related: An ABP on the V8

Err, perhaps the division of Facebook friends should have been included in the settlement?

related: The happiest place on Earth

At our submitter’s office in Fort Worth, the third-floor ladies room has an ongoing problem. “Every single day,” our submitter explains, one particular person uses the facilities and then sprays enough perfume to kill a cow…as if you could cover that smell.”

And yet, given the abundance of pro-sprayers in charge of office ladies’ rooms, I’m afraid this is bound to remain another one of those never-ending workplace disagreements.

related: Have you tried Giant Migraine™ scented air freshener?