Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'

Just to watch him die

May 1st, 2013 · 71 Comments

Nicole used to live in Reno, Nevada. Unless you’ve lived there, Nicole says, “then you can’t fully understand what a straaaange place it is, but this note might help.” She found it about four years ago in personals section of the Pennysaver. Four years later, Nicole says, “I still feel a joyous bewilderment upon reading it. I can’t wait to show it to my grandkids some day.”

ATTENTION: ALL CASINO WORKERS AND SHOW PEOPLE! Message from Teddy Williams. What kind of a

related: You’re toast, Melba.

Tags: crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Nevada · newspaper · TL;DR · WTF?

Remember, a smile is part of your uniform!!!

January 28th, 2013 · 89 Comments

“On its face, this note details a bunch of common-sense rhetoric about being a good employee,” our submitter says. “What’s hilarious and sad is how our ‘Service Ambassador’ thinks that a thinly-veiled threat like this is supposed to inspire fervent company loyalty and ‘outstanding service.’ Come prepared to kiss ass or we’ll kick yours?”

Food For Thought:  What if last night you got a call from corporate saying you were no longer needed to come to work? Your employment with the company has ended.  HOW WOULD THAT IMPACT YOUR LIFE?????  So, how about having respect for your job by:  1. Coming to work on time 2. Being in the company provided (clean) uniform 3. Wearing your smile 4. Valuing each and every customer you encounter & giving them outstanding service  IT'S A NEW YEAR...... HOW ABOUT SOME NEW ATTITUDES???????? YOU ARE FORTUNATE TO WORK FOR AN OUTSTANDING COMPANY - (redacted)  (redacted) - Service Ambassador

related: Motivational posters for a down economy

Tags: confusion??? · not-so-veiled threats · now that's management · office cop

No drama!!!

December 4th, 2012 · 48 Comments

Yes, Lorraine, admits, she works long hours at her job. And no, her mother hasn’t been over to her house in a while…but neither has anybody else. Nice of her Mum to refrain from DRAMA[!!!] about it though, right? (Krystle Gale, I’m guessing you can relate.)

Have a Great Day! On your Birthday! Had to send it at work! I have been SO MANY TIMES in your place, I DONT KNOW THE RIGHT NUMBER. No Drama!!!

related: So, Mom, what you’re telling me is to cover up with a latex catsuit?

Tags: Australia · birthday · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes

No, thank YOU, Boss Lady of 75

November 25th, 2012 · 38 Comments

This is just…a thing of beauty.

Do not disrespect my door by knockin and not callin. Before you knock on it! Call me before you knock.

related: You don’t mess with Bob Mess.

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · knocking · Sacramento · so this is a thing? · that's disrespectful · unnecessary "quotation marks"

The definition of hygiene

October 3rd, 2012 · 34 Comments

While traveling in India on business, Melissa spotted this sign in all of the women’s restrooms at one office.

Note: Based on my experience with this site, I have to conclude that the fairer sex most definitely does not “define hygiene.”

Ladies, Please throw Used Tissues, Sanitary Items, INSIDE the DustBin NOT ON the DUSTBIN. Please Flush Toilet After Each Use Please Wipe Toilet Seat if you have used the sprayer Do NOT Spray Water on the Floor We do not Need Notices for this. We are Women. We Define Hygiene. Why is it missing here????

related: The bathroom battle of the sexes — a true race to the bottom

extra credit: “Cleaner than Shit” Liquid Hand Soap

Tags: bathroom · confusion??? · hygiene · India · office · toilet

Just google it.

October 2nd, 2012 · 36 Comments

Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.

Dearest colleagues, Since non[e] of our Moms will be dropping around to clean up after us like they did when we were little kids; why not recap the p-nut butter, close the cracks and wipe up your crumbs before returning to work following break of lunch? Perhaps wetting a paper towel and wiping up your spills etc. etc.   Those of us who follow you into the break room would prefer not to have to clean-up your food remains so that we can have a clean neat environment in which to enjoy our breaks.   For detailed instructions on procedures to employ following making a mess, simply search GOOGLE for

P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.

related: This is in the way

Tags: California · cleaning · office · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation? · Your mother doesn't...

Error: Command not found

September 17th, 2012 · 41 Comments

This heapsort arrived via an anonymous sender in Wellington, New Zealand. (Notice the menacing-looking knife at right…)

IT IS BECOMING WORSE & WORSE SO PLEASE PLEASE KEEP THIS OFFICE TIDY! THANKS...SERIOUSLY? PLEASE READ THE SIGN! I WAS JUST HERE 2 MIN AGO TAKING ALL THE DIRTY DISHES LEFT HER (WHICH I SHOULDN'T BE DOING....) AND COME BACK TO FIND THIS. I MEAN, YOU SAW ME DO IT!! Your request has been placed in a priority queue. In the meantime we have submitted it to www.passiveaggressivenotes.com where you you will be able to monitor its progress.

related: An ABP on the V8

Tags: confusion??? · New Zealand · office · smartass

Well, that’s awkward.

August 21st, 2012 · 64 Comments

Err, perhaps the division of Facebook friends should have been included in the settlement?

Victoria: I love the fact that driving to work is only five minutes away!!  Colin:And just think of the gas you save too.....!  Shona: While Colin saves a lot of 'gas' by never travelling the six miles to see his children

related: The happiest place on Earth

Tags: ex drama · Facebook · unnecessary "quotation marks"

To spray or not spray?

June 3rd, 2012 · 73 Comments

At our submitter’s office in Fort Worth, the third-floor ladies room has an ongoing problem. “Every single day,” our submitter explains, one particular person uses the facilities and then sprays enough perfume to kill a cow…as if you could cover that smell.”

And yet, given the abundance of pro-sprayers in charge of office ladies’ rooms, I’m afraid this is bound to remain another one of those never-ending workplace disagreements.

If you "poo" in the "loo"....Please don't spray perfume, because it still smells "ewww". (There is nothing worse than perfumed poo. The "poo" smell is still there, but not we have another assault on our poor nose.) We 'poo' too.... It's OK.... Really.....

related: Have you tried Giant Migraine™ scented air freshener?

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · ellipses-crazed · message to all intended for one · odor · shit