Entries Tagged as 'apostrophe abuse'

If we give up our exclamation points, the terrorists win!!!

January 30th, 2008 · 62 Comments

“The tiny Sioux City, Iowa airport had a jaw-droppingly comprehensive intro to what one could or could not take on board a plane,” reports Timoni from San Francisco, including actual sample-sized bottles of toiletries taped up, show-and-tell style. “The corker, though, was this vehement note near the end (which, yes, had a plastic QUART-SIZE BAG!!!!!!!!! taped underneath).”

You need to separate your QUART SIZE BAG and have it X-RAYED BY IT'S SELF!!!!!!!!!

related: If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge

Tags: airport · apostrophe abuse · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Sioux City · spelling and grammar police

So much for turning the other cheek

December 13th, 2007 · 140 Comments

Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)

Dear Sinner, I specifically wrote on the box of Starbuck's Frappucino bars Don't Touch! But did that stop you. No instead you took the liberty of taking my last one!

related: but He took the wheel

Tags: apostrophe abuse · college life · excessive underlining · heart · ice cream · Illinois · irregular capitalization · not-so-veiled threats · spelling and grammar police · touching · You call that punctuation? · you're like so going to hell

I’ve got my eye on you

November 27th, 2007 · 135 Comments

Laura spotted this punchline of a note (“you know it’s time to move out when…”) at her apartment building in downtown Brooklyn. Or rather, her former apartment building. It’s unclear whether the note-leaver was motivated by recent research suggesting that pictures of eyes may deter crime.

Attn: To the Ass-hole who keeps breaking & entering this building to steal the locks off the doors, you will be caught.

Meanwhile, Kim in Worcester, Massachusetts spotted a convenience store taking a similarly whimsical approach to theft prevention.

Did you know? Stealing is a crime. When we catch you we will call the police and have you arrested. We are watching you and so are the camera's [sic]. Say cheese!

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Brooklyn · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · Massachusetts · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · the po-po · Worcester

Oh, shit!

November 11th, 2007 · 170 Comments

My own neighborhood of Park Slope, Brooklyn has high concentrations of dogs, babies, crazies and bloggers, which makes for a heady brew of incredibly well-documented passive-aggressiveness. Certain notes (like this long-running series) show up in my inbox over and over again. I’ve gotten various iterations of this note from no fewer than six different people over the past few months, with good reason.

'poop'

I think the dogged persistence of the note-writer is pretty incredible in its own right, but even better is what the note doesn’t quite explain: these bags weren’t just being stolen — some “juvenile/adult delinquent” was also cutting the bottom of the bags, then putting them back for the next unsuspecting dog-walking victim. Oh, shit!

go find another thrill

juvenile/adult delinquent

(Thanks to William, Kathleen, Elaine, Sarah, T-1-11, and JM for submitting!)

related: What is it about dog crap that pushes Brooklynites over the edge?

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Brooklyn · dogs · ellipses-crazed · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · Park Slope · saga · shit · unnecessary "quotation marks"