Entries Tagged as 'comma diarrhea'
Paul has lived in his apartment in Berlin for 15 months, but this note is the first time he’s heard a single complaint about his door. Especially annoying, Paul says, is the fact that it’s anonymous, “even though it could possibly have been written by only one of two people,” and that it’s written in English, “which most expats would consider an insult.”
Just another example of how — no matter smiley faces you sprinkle throughout — your oh-so-courteous anonymous note is probably just going to leave everyone more “pi**ed off.”
![Dear Neighbours, some people livin here , are really pi**ed about the way, you close your door, when coming/leaving. >>Closing<< is usually the wrong term to describe this. >>Crushing<< is mostly the better term. :-( If your door is broken , let it repair from our beloved [redacted] or Repair it yourself or Use your key to close it in a way, not bothering your neighbors. ....and kindly give this info your visitors too ;-) Greetz & Peace Dear Neighbours, some people livin here , are really pi**ed about the way, you close your door, when coming/leaving. >>Closing<< is usually the wrong term to describe this. >>Crushing<< is mostly the better term. If your door is broken , let it repair from our beloved [redacted] or Repair it yourself or Use your key to close it in a way, not bothering your neighbors. ....and kindly give this info your visitors too ;-) Greetz & Peace](https://farm5.static.flickr.com/4139/4767057071_7135a658f2.jpg)
related: Wie bitte(r)?
extra credit: “Greetz” [urbandictionary.com]
Tags: Berlin · Clearly a non-native English speaker · comma diarrhea · door-slamming · neighbors · noise · opening/closing · pointlessly self-censored profanity · sad face · smiley
Exhibit A, as seen by an anonymous submitter in Seattle?

…or exhibit B, as spotted by Mitch in Goldendale, Washington?

related: And God knows what
Tags: CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · karma's a bitch · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Washington state
What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail
Tags: awk abbrev · comma diarrhea · excessive underlining · garage sale · Houston · old folks · unsolicited feedback · You call that punctuation?
“If it wasn’t for the handwriting,” says Lauren in California, “I would have guessed my mom wrote it.”

Meanwhile, Carson in Valencia found this note (crudely laminated with packing tape) attached to a tree while walking his dog in the park. “Maybe next time Maggie will think twice about leaving her ceramic cats unattended,” he says.

And in Seattle…

“In the pot-snatcher’s defense, people leave furniture and the like on the street all over this area of town as acts of charity, so it definitely would have been an easy mistake for anyone to make,” Josef says, adding: “When I took this picture, the homeowner was glaring at me from the garage the whole time. Bad vibes, man.”
related: Neighborhood Crazy-Watch
Tags: apostrophe abuse · California · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · emdash overboard · garbage · neighbors · rhetorical question · Seattle · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are
Our anonymous submitter in Dearborn, Michigan spotted this gem in a women’s restroom at her office of “several hundred financial and information technology professionals” — perhaps the future workplace of a “trifling” young UC-Berkeley student?

related: I think it’s going to be a long long time
Tags: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hair · hygiene · Michigan · office
Lisa in Berkeley says she was doing laundry in her dorm building when someone pointed out this amazing note to her. “According to that person, who knew the note-poster through a friend, ‘The towels were actually nice. They were from Kohl’s or something.’”
![I just want whoever stole my fucking towels last night, btwn the hours of 3 and 8 am, to know that u deserve to die for that shit, its trifling, and disgusting. I wiped btwn my legs with those towels! U are nasty. Please know that if either I or my roommate notice our towels in your load one day, and [sic] ass kicking will surely follow. 4th floor Slottman residents, come get some. I just want whoever stole my fucking towels last night, btwn the hours of 3 and 8 am, to know that u deserve to die for that shit, its [sic] trifling, and disgusting. I wiped btwn my legs with those towels! U are nasty. Please know that if either I or my roommate notice our towels in your load one day, and [sic] ass kicking will surely follow. 4th floor Slottman residents, come get some.](https://farm3.static.flickr.com/2401/1758918334_8074062415_o.jpg)
Lisa says the note has since been taken down. “I guess either an RA got to it, or someone got a beating.”

Tags: Berkeley · California · college life · Comic Sans Alert · comma diarrhea · die bitch die · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · RA · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's disgusting · TMI · towels
“The Healthy Companies Committee,” explains Katherine in D.C., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (“Ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)
The hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “Thank you Terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (Pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) It’s like something straight out of a script from The Office.

Don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?
Tags: comma diarrhea · confusion??? · D.C. · dishes · dishwasher · e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · questionable logic · royal we · spelling and grammar police
Writes Kristi in Chicago: “This was sent from our receptionist to the ENTIRE office (except, for some reason, me, until a coworker forwarded it so I wouldn’t miss out on the fun. It’s the receptionist’s job to order supplies and put away deliveries, but apparently she doesn’t like to do any heavy lifting. The last line really sent the office into a tizzy!”
(click to enlarge)

It’s the second-to-last line that sends me into a bit of a tizzy…
Tags: "helpful" advice · Chicago · comma diarrhea · e-mail · moving/not moving · office · spelling and grammar police