“On its face, this note details a bunch of common-sense rhetoric about being a good employee,” our submitter says. “What’s hilarious and sad is how our ‘Service Ambassador’ thinks that a thinly-veiled threat like this is supposed to inspire fervent company loyalty and ‘outstanding service.’ Come prepared to kiss ass or we’ll kick yours?”
Entries Tagged as 'confusion???'
January 28th, 2013 · 89 Comments
October 3rd, 2012 · 34 Comments
While traveling in India on business, Melissa spotted this sign in all of the women’s restrooms at one office.
Note: Based on my experience with this site, I have to conclude that the fairer sex most definitely does not “define hygiene.”
extra credit: “Cleaner than Shit” Liquid Hand Soap
September 17th, 2012 · 41 Comments
This heapsort arrived via an anonymous sender in Wellington, New Zealand. (Notice the menacing-looking knife at right…)
related: An ABP on the V8
February 21st, 2012 · 38 Comments
Michael says this chaotic jumble of parenthetical-underlined-CAPSLOCK has been up since he started working at this California sushi restaurant, much to his amusement.
Adds Michael: “I don’t care how much a customer tips me, I am not going to satisfy all of their needs.” (So, no rice dicks, then?)
Honestly, it’s that last missing parenthesis that really gets me. Just close it up! Do it now!
May 23rd, 2011 · 89 Comments
This bulletin board display from Louisville, Kentucky comes to us via Annie in Colorado, who adds: “I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor dogs caught popping a squat!” (Don’t worry, Annie. As you can see, I’ve taken steps to protect the identities of the canines pictured.)
Maybe it’s the classic crazypants handwriting, but I when I try to envision the creator of this display, the first image that comes to mind is one of those cop-show scenes where they bust in and find a room obsessively wallpapered with photos and maps and newspaper clippings documenting some big (or in this case, not so big) conspiracy theory.
But who knows? Maybe this guy is starting a new fetish mag and just wants to track down these dogs to pay their modeling fees or…something.
related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica
May 4th, 2011 · 199 Comments
Our submitter in North Dakota, an instructor at one of the state’s institutions of higher learning, found this note left behind by a student in one of her English Composition classes. “We had begun meeting in a computer lab two classes prior,” she writes, “something which had been announced at the beginning of the classes leading up to the room switch as well as on the syllabus.”
But you know, “nobody likes to have to dig your syllabus out.” That’s like, a total drag, dude!
Seriously, kids today(!!!)
related: The “feeling of failing” debacle
extra credit: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower,” by Professor X [theatlantic.com]
February 18th, 2011 · 69 Comments
I’ll admit it: I had to read this note and the accompanying explanation about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower drain.
But speaking of babies…as Massimo noticed, this Boston-area Walgreens is apparently hoping to capitalize on your drunken New Years/Valentine’s Day sexual escapades. (Or else they’re just really, really curious?????)
related: Please clean ALL your feathers.
extra credit: The incredible hair baby of Manchester [Dailymail.co.uk]
December 19th, 2010 · 77 Comments
From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.
And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:
October 3rd, 2010 · 87 Comments
Our submitter and her brother — both adults — recently received this e-mail from their mother, who’s currently traveling (thus making telephone calls difficult). What ever did empty nesters do before e-mail?
(Actually, it’s pretty easy to imagine this in telegram form — just take out the word “email” and sub in <STOP> for all those question marks.)
August 31st, 2010 · 42 Comments
At Nat’s office in York, England, one of his coworkers has been trying to bully everyone into coughing up some cash for an (admittedly worthy) charitable cause.
In Nat’s opinion, however, her guilt-heavy fund-raising techniques might benefit from a little fine-tuning…especially given that all seven of those special “charity pens” were nicked from the office supply closet.
related: Starve on!