PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » confusion???

Caught in the act

Kerry — Tue, 24 May 2011 01:47:23 +0000

This bulletin board display from Louisville, Kentucky comes to us via Annie in Colorado, who adds: “I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor dogs caught popping a squat!” (Don’t worry, Annie. As you can see, I’ve taken steps to protect the identities of the canines pictured.)

Maybe it’s the classic crazypants handwriting, but I when I try to envision the creator of this display, the first image that comes to mind is one of those cop-show scenes where they bust in and find a room obsessively wallpapered with photos and maps and newspaper clippings documenting some big (or in this case, not so big) conspiracy theory.

But who knows? Maybe this guy is starting a new fetish mag and just wants to track down these dogs to pay their modeling fees or…something.

related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica

So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

Kerry — Thu, 05 May 2011 03:53:33 +0000

Our submitter in North Dakota, an instructor at one of the state’s institutions of higher learning, found this note left behind by a student in one of her English Composition classes. “We had begun meeting in a computer lab two classes prior,” she writes, “something which had been announced at the beginning of the classes leading up to the room switch as well as on the syllabus.”

But you know, “nobody likes to have to dig your syllabus out.” That’s like, a total drag, dude!

Seriously, kids today(!!!)

extra credit: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower,” by Professor X [theatlantic.com]

Mother of hair? Is that like mother of pearl?

Kerry — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 06:02:21 +0000

I’ll admit it: I had to read this note and the accompanying explanation about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower drain.

But speaking of babies…as Massimo noticed, this Boston-area Walgreens is apparently hoping to capitalize on your drunken New Years/Valentine’s Day sexual escapades. (Or else they’re just really, really curious?????)

extra credit: The incredible hair baby of Manchester [Dailymail.co.uk]

You’re just not getting it, Sugar

Kerry — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 22:10:52 +0000

From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.

And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:

related: Nutra-not-so-sweet

Not to worry, I’m alive. Not that you’d care. I’m only your mother!

Kerry — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 03:29:39 +0000

Our submitter and her brother — both adults — recently received this e-mail from their mother, who’s currently traveling (thus making telephone calls difficult). What ever did empty nesters do before e-mail?

(Actually, it’s pretty easy to imagine this in telegram form — just take out the word “email” and sub in for all those question marks.)

Who steals pens from disabled children???

Kerry — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 21:18:18 +0000

At Nat’s office in York, England, one of his coworkers has been trying to bully everyone into coughing up some cash for an (admittedly worthy) charitable cause.

In Nat’s opinion, however, her guilt-heavy fund-raising techniques might benefit from a little fine-tuning…especially given that all seven of those special “charity pens” were nicked from the office supply closet.

related: Starve on!

The cycle of (not) recycling

Kerry — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:47:53 +0000

These notes — the first from on office in California, the second from an office in Arkansas — both seem like they’re following the same not-quite-finished flowchart for acceptable office paper usage.

Really, you’re in for a scolding no matter what. And as our submitter Hannah noticed — in this bizarre exchange from the copy room at a school in Spartanburg, South Carolina — contrition only seems to further incense the office Paper Nazis.

The dos and don’ts of “Do not touch”

Kerry — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 02:56:59 +0000

Nadia in Greensboro, North Carolina spotted this gem of a “you break it, you buy it” specimen at a local thrift store. “Apparently,” she writes, “Secondhand Punctuation Has Its Drawbacks? You Can’t Pick And Choose? You Have To Make Do With What You Have On Hand? Handwritten Notes Are Not Exceptions?”

The D.C. tourist trap that Amy visited took a less tentative tack with its signage, though I doubt the “four times is better than one” approach is any more effective.

These two stores, on the other hand, pretty much nail it with reverse psychology.

related: As Davy Crockett once said…

Which is more despicable?

Kerry — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 04:57:40 +0000

Exhibit A, as seen by an anonymous submitter in Seattle?

…or exhibit B, as spotted by Mitch in Goldendale, Washington?

related: and god knows what

Why can’t you act professional?

Kerry — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:00:25 +0000

Writes Aimee in Sellersburg, Indiana: “My former boss used to leave these kind of notes posted on our work bulletin board constantly. It was a really boring job, so these little rays of sunshine made coming to work worth it.”

Ain’t that the gospel truth?

Kerry — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 02:12:34 +0000

Chris says this note was slipped under his apartment door by one of his “typically passive-aggressive Seattle neighbors.” And no, he adds, he hadn’t noticed. Perhaps because the door was lacking in aggressively punctuated parenthetical statements!! (Homeowners dues??)

Personally, I am just luuurving the nice little call-and-response rhythm this note has got goin’ on. I eagerly await the OutKast “Rape Burgle Murder” remix!(!!)

related: Everyone: shut it

A “discussion” on shoes

Kerry — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:53:25 +0000

My favorite part of this two-page glory? The flash of insight on page 2: “I realize that last sentence is phrased as a question, but really it is more of a statement.”

related: care, it makes a difference

Just one question…

Kerry — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 22:36:45 +0000

related: Seriously!?!

Your new favorite emo-punk band: The Light Brown Apple Moth Debacle

Kerry — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 04:01:59 +0000

Spotted in a high foot traffic area of Sausalito, California…

God bless the bay area.

related: Gentrification is insanit(ar)y