PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » exclamation-point happy!!!!

The very delicate elevator

Kerry — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:39:00 +0000

Apparently the “this will damage elevator” meme is the most exciting thing to happen around this Cincinnati cubicle farm in a long time.

(According to our submitter, the photos below represent only a fraction of the variations that have popped up all over the office.)

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

The tale of Tony Q69

Kerry — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 22:31:45 +0000

Janine in Astoria was at a stoplight next to a Q69 bus stop in Queens when she noticed signs reading “TONY Q69″ taped all over the outside and inside of the bus shelter. “I made my boyfriend pull over so I could read it,” she says — and got a photo, so she could share Tony Q69′s shameful story with the rest of the world.

UPDATE: Greg in Astoria has spotted another note to Tony Q69…

As has Adam…

And Rebecca!

Beware of argumentative farm animals!

Kerry — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 02:31:26 +0000

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

Are you ready for your Rapture party?

Kerry — Fri, 20 May 2011 17:47:51 +0000

Stephanie in Kansas City, Missouri found this warning posted on the fridge after lunch today:

Around the same time, this note showed up on an office coffee-maker in Washington, D.C.:

Meanwhile, Ashley in Greenville, North Carolina forwards this example of a veiled threat, atheist-style:

related: Remember, God is watching you!

So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

Kerry — Thu, 05 May 2011 03:53:33 +0000

Our submitter in North Dakota, an instructor at one of the state’s institutions of higher learning, found this note left behind by a student in one of her English Composition classes. “We had begun meeting in a computer lab two classes prior,” she writes, “something which had been announced at the beginning of the classes leading up to the room switch as well as on the syllabus.”

But you know, “nobody likes to have to dig your syllabus out.” That’s like, a total drag, dude!

Seriously, kids today(!!!)

extra credit: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower,” by Professor X [theatlantic.com]

Bad dog! Stop that! Right now!

Kerry — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 01:16:40 +0000

When I read this landlord’s note…

…this is roughly the image that came to mind:

Anyone else?

Stop “blocking your blessing”

Kerry — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 04:19:11 +0000

Jo spotted this testimony in a restroom at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia.

I guessing this particular portion of the Gospel of (the) John was lost in translation from the Greek or some such — a shame, cause “God doesn’t like ugly” would make a great protest sign.

Women: Have your pole dancing classes empowered you too much?

Kerry — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 18:13:05 +0000

I really hope to have the opportunity to work the coinage “pole vulture” into conversation this week.

Apparently, they’re a serious problem at Jessica’s pole dancing studio of choice in Sydney, Australia.

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

Haterade on the Rocks, with a twist

Kerry — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 02:16:20 +0000

After a night of heavy drinking, Dani in Baltimore woke up with a killer hangover that turned positively murderous when she noticed that her bottle of Gatorade — which she’d been saving in anticipation of her post-hangover re-hydration needs — was missing from the fridge.

Assuming her husband must have taken it, Dani quickly dashed off this exclamation-point-heavy tirade (which, of course, is “passive” only in the sense that she chose to sit down at the keyboard instead of going straight for the butcher knife).

A few hours later, however, says Dani, “I remembered that I had actually drunkenly finished the bottle of Gatorade the night before, in an attempt to avoid said hangover. Oops!”

I’m hoping this little “oops” was a come-to-Jesus moment for Dani that showed her the error of note-writing ways, but if not…well, Dani’s husband: consider yourself warned. Because seriously, this is America, not another planet!

related: You are on Uncle Paul’s list!

A nasty twist on “Man Bites Dog”

Kerry — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:00:55 +0000

Dan in Melbourne says he saw this sign while riding along a North Fitzroy bike path, which runs parallel to a park. Says Dan: “Now, I’ve owned a dog and I know how they like to roll in stinky things, but this it taking it to a new, super gross level.”

More gross than your dog rolling in/eating some other dog’s shit? Or stepping in a fresh pile of it yourself? I’m not sure I’m convinced. (Not that humans should be exempt from proper poop-scooping etiquette, of course.)

Personally, I’d like to imagine this as a triumphant act of payback on the part of a score-settling colon cancer survivor. (“This is for all the times I’ve stepped in your dogs’ crap. Enjoy!!”)

related: Do you want a doggy bag?

You’re just not getting it, Sugar

Kerry — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 22:10:52 +0000

From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.

And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:

related: Nutra-not-so-sweet

Providing a “friendly holiday spirit”

Kerry — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 23:22:32 +0000

Halloween was just a prelude, really —it’s Christmas that brings the real bounty of guilt-trip opportunities, often with a bonus side helping of irony.

To wit: Jaime in Canada says his neighbor (okay, “neighbour”) went totally Clark Griswold with his Christmas decorating this year, creating a sparkling extravaganza that is, Jaime says, “quite the treat for the eyes.”

But the best part of the display might be what stands in front of Santa and his team of reindeer — an ellipses-and-exclamation-fueled cautionary tale about the true meaning of Christmas…consumerism!!! (Take that, Tiny Tim!)

The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party Rules

Kerry — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 23:29:06 +0000

Our submitter spotted this amazing stream-of-consciousness manifesto inside a small tea shop in Hertfordshire, U.K. “I especially like the lack of punctuation, constantly shifting tone, and preachy generalizations,” she says. “Apparently it’s not enough to simply request that customers wipe their feet or use a trash can — it’s necessary to subject them to a generational guilt trip as well.”

Did somebody say “snail mail”?

Kerry — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 02:00:29 +0000

Before her husband left on his first military deployment, Sarah in San Diego sent out an e-mail to the whole family with info about how everyone can stay in touch while he’s away. To avoid any potential in-law drama, she even had her husband read and sign off on the e-mail before sending. What neither Sarah nor her husband took into account? The Uncle Paul factor.

Her husband’s Uncle Paul, Sarah explains, is a mailman/postman/letter carrier — whatever the correct term is. (Based on Uncle Paul’s reply, she says, “I’m clearly not up enough on the intricate etiquette of the U.S. Postal Service to know.”)