Our anonymous submitter reports that a certain less-than-collegial colleague had the gall to dash off this note while the perfume-wearer in question was standing at the photocopier less than five feet away. And, our submitter adds: “She did not attempt at all to disguise her handwriting.”

related: Fight or flight

My favorite part of this two-page glory? The flash of insight on page 2: “I realize that last sentence is phrased as a question, but really it is more of a statement.”

related: care, it makes a difference

In this edition of Facebook Friday…an assortment of cat fights in the making, plucked from the newsfeeds of the innocent Facebookers caught in the crossfire!

Exhibit a)

Exhibit b)

Exhibit c)

The smiley face there is a nice touch, but my favorite this time around has to be this doozy of an about-face (read from the bottom up):

related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)

extra credit: Like, OMG, PAN is on Facebook?

I recently returned from a few days in San Antonio, Texas, where my friend Matt and I amused ourselves on the Riverwalk with a competition to find the tackiest souvenir possible in each store within three minutes or less. (My first win: a “pooping armadillo” keychain.) When we entered this fine establishment, however, I had to call a time-out.

I didn’t even get a chance to take photos of all the signs at this one store — including some amazing ones taped to the register — before I started getting the stink-eye from the manager. (I generally try to stay out of trouble in states that allow their teachers to come to class armed.) I’m telling you, Alamo, Schmalamo: this store was the highlight of my trip.

related: Tourist traps have the best signs

Edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered UCLA’s study abroad program in Granada, Spain last semester.

Can you blame them? I mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!

related: Are you proud to be an American?

Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:

1. Austin, Texas

2. Macon, Georgia

3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)

related: No “questions” asked

Rodti and Laura Elizabeth spotted these charming examples of local Scottish color outside an Internet cafe in Glasgow’s West End.

Meanwhile, a grocery story elsewhere in Glasgow displays a similar plea for clemency…one that seems intended for a similar clientele.

related: Blame it on Coke

extra credit: Buckfast tonic wine [wikipedia]
The worst toilet in Scotland [youtube]

Where do you suppose this “anomous” Tampa, Florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?

Interested? here’s a free preview!

related: Your to lazy

5. Being a stupid, illiterate jerk.

4. What, can’t you read?

3. Seriously, are you fucking illiterate?

2. Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I just called to say I love you”?

And last but not least…

1. The Internet (probably)

related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.

extra credit: thanks, mr. hipster

Courtney in California spotted this in the front yard of a neighborhood she happened to be cruising through today — one she says is “full of blue-hairs.”

Adds Courtney: “I just may be knocking on this person’s front door sometime this week. I HAVE to know what Melba’s letter said!”

related: You can do it. We can’t help