Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'
Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.
“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”
Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?
related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire
Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful
Exhibit A, as seen by an anonymous submitter in Seattle?
…or exhibit B, as spotted by Mitch in Goldendale, Washington?
related: And God knows what
Tags: CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · karma's a bitch · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Washington state
Our submitter in Denver says his buddy snapped a photo of this notice while she was getting her new military ID. Adds our submitter: “I’ve had success getting a picture retaken at the DMV, but bad photos at the military ID office are usually considered a ‘personal problem.’”
Happy Veterans Day, folks!
related: no washing your ass in the sink
Tags: "customer service" · and that's an order · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · military
Laura in Los Angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in Rosemead, California, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. The biggest fish, Laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.
Piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess — a job that generally means bearing the brunt of the bullshit from pissy customers, stressed-out servers, and douche-nozzle managers with very little power to make anyone happy — I can certainly empathize with the note writer…though I highly doubt it’s actually eliminated the litany of the “oh, that poor fish!” comments that inspired it.
related: no, yuppie, my cow’s not starving
Tags: anthropomorphism · California · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fish · restaurant
This restroom sign from Baton Rouge, Louisiana manages to combine variations on two of the genre’s most irritating cliches — the rhyme that must be flushed and the clip art that must be stopped…with some additional ridiculous floral clip art thrown in for good measure.
And yet, somehow, this note manages to offend me even more. I don’t think I’ll look at cupcakes the same way again.
related: the “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry
extra credit: “it’s your birthday and we do give a shit”
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · spelling and grammar police · toilet
This is one of those notes I’ve spent far too long puzzling over. The frustratingly random capitalization, the misuse of/missing punctuation, the center justification, and of course, THE BOX. WHY THE BOX?
Sir/ma’am, I will gladly supply you with as many Baby Ruths as you can stuff down your gullet if you can reconstruct the thought process that led to this note.
related: and yet…the pink flowers?
Tags: candy · God · irregular capitalization · New York · office · stealing · WTF? · You call that punctuation?
Exhibit a) Spotted at a laundromat in Silver Lake by Jessica in Los Angeles…
Exhibit b) From Ronnie’s Diner, also in LA.., by Valerie:
Exhibit c) From Barnacle Bill’s in Sarasota, Florida:
Exhibit d) From, as Miranda explains, ” the local ‘community thrift store’ in Dahlonega, Georgia, where everything is donated, and all the people who work there…are volunteers. Raising the prices to compensate for the volunteers’ efforts? Makes TONS of sense to me!”
But (because the decision had to be made) I would say that this final note — spotted by Rusty at a B&B in Newfoundland — is my absolute favorite.
related: When you can’t blame the dog
Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · excessive underlining · high on highlighter · laundry · passive voice · public shaming
Let me stop you right there. Before you say anything else, have you consulted this sign, as spotted on the door of a souvenir shop by Angie in Seattle?
Or this one, as seen by Meghann outside a bar in San Francisco?
Well, then your questions will certainly be answered by my personal favorite, spotted by Jessie at a sandwich shop in Charlottesville, Virginia:
related: Listing in NOW Magazine’s adult classifieds? $70. Revenge?
Tags: "customer service" · Charlottesville · exclamation-point happy!!!! · San Francisco · Seattle · thanks (but not really) · Virginia
Writes Stephanie in Lubbock, Texas: “One day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trash cans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. There’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”
Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania explains: “There are only three of us who use this bathroom, so obviously one of the other two people had a problem with me not adequately spraying the sickly-sweet ‘odor masker’ that doesn’t do anything other than mix with the ambient scent in the restroom to make it smell even worse than it might otherwise.”
Adds our submitter: “Oh, also, this sign went up when I had only four days left working here. I have a pretty good idea how i’ll be ‘celebrating’ my last day.”
related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!!
Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · Pennsylvania · shit · Texas
Because nobody says “I mean business” like…Donald Duck.
Except, perhaps, Mickey Mouse? Writes our anonymous submitter in Toronto: “My sister went to do her laundry with her 2-year-old daughter who kept on saying ‘Mickey! Mickey!’” It seemed like random toddler babbling…until she saw the note.
Thanks for taking your sweet f*ckin’ time doin’ your laundry. Next time try setting an Egg timer so you can get your Lazy ASS outa bed!
related: How many wonders can one cavern hold?
extra credit: Didn’t Disney sue a bunch of preschools for painting Disney characters on their walls? [snopes.com]
Tags: California · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · out-of-context cartoon character · Toronto