Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'
What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!
related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail
Tags: awk abbrev · comma diarrhea · excessive underlining · garage sale · Houston · old folks · unsolicited feedback · You call that punctuation?
Joanna from San Diego spotted this beauty in the public kitchen at her grandparents’ retirement home in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Writes Joanna: “I love it because it combines passive-aggressiveness with religious sanctimony. Delicious!”
related: no, He uses vaseline
Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · martyr complex · most popular notes of 2009 · old folks · stealing · Tennessee
Writes Desiree: “This is a note at the express (stamps-only counter) at a very busy post office in Washington, D.C.. They are apparently!! very!! uptight!! like everyone else in D.C. (myself included)!!”
Meanwhile!! in Florida…
And! in Los Angeles!
related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled
Tags: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · going postal · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?
Writes our anonymous submitter in Hartford, Connecticut: “We’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
I appreciate the initial sentiment here — I really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that begins with “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” to a watery grave. so, for a brief flash in time, the note-writer had me. But then…the irregular Capitalizations, the excessive exclamation points!! and (seriously?) the pink flowery clip art…I’d say those make for some serious deductions in both the “technical merit” and “artistic impression” categories.
Judges — what say you of the final tally?
related: the rhyme that must be flushed
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Hartford · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · irregular capitalization · office · piss · toilet
Chris says this note was slipped under his apartment door by one of his “typically passive-aggressive Seattle neighbors.” And no, he adds, he hadn’t noticed. Perhaps because the door was lacking in aggressively punctuated parenthetical statements!! (Homeowners dues??)
Personally, I am just luuurving the nice little call-and-response rhythm this note has got goin’ on. I eagerly await the OutKast “Rape Burgle Murder” remix!(!!)
related: Everyone: shut it
Tags: confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · neighbors · opening/closing · Seattle · You call that punctuation?
Marina found this flyer on her car’s windshield in Venice Beach, California. With a sales pitch as compelling as this one, it’s really only a matter of time before this AMAZING OPPORTUNITY!!! pops up alongside TV offers like Cash4gold and the (ever-popular) Pedegg.
Adds Marina: “I haven’t tried calling the number…yet.” WHAT IS SHE WAITING FOR?!?!
related: Spinal manipulation
Tags: bad sales pitch · California · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!!
Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”
related: Especially Deborah
Tags: Cleveland · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · office · Ohio · spelling and grammar police
Josh from Annapolis, Maryland says the first and last note in this exchange were apparently written by Stephen, a college student at a school “known for it’s obtusely intellectual, chronically spacey student body.”
The notes were gone within a few days, but Josh says the situation hasn’t exactly improved. In the meantime, he says, “I’m kinda worried for my own safety. I recently saw this kid chopping firewood in the backyard, so he definitely has an ax.”
related: passive-aggressive mad libs
Tags: Annapolis · garbage · neighbors · note wars · recycling · that's disrespectful · You call that punctuation?
Apparently, sayeth google analytics, the oh-so-clever phrase “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is one of the most common search terms that leads people to this little website. (Sorry to disappoint you, folks — no cross-stitch patterns to be found here.)
So, um, yeah…I’m gonna go curl up the fetal position and die now. I’ll leave the textual analysis underlying the great “neat/sweetie” literary schism to you guys, k?
This one might be a little more home-spun, but I think the urine-colored highlighter and ellipses diarrhea really pushes it over the top:
If you want your mind completely blown, check out this international variation, from Jamaica:
And from San Francisco, the po-mo edition:
related: “Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy”
Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · ellipses-crazed · high on highlighter · pure poetry · toilet
Our anonymous submitter in New Jersey found this note taped to every apartment door in his complex. “We do indeed have a problem with feral cats in our neighborhood, but my sense is that they’ve been around for many (cat) generations…not that people are buying new ones.”
Adds our submitter: “Now that I think about it, I’m probably a bad person for finding this funny, but really, the all-bold, all-caps “LET HER DEATH BE ON YOUR HEAD!!!” is just so perfectly over the top. Personally, I would have gone with “A POX ON ALL YOUR HOUSES!!!”
related: I can has guilt trip?
Tags: cats · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guests · neighbors · New Jersey