Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'

The Book of Cubicleism, Article IV: “The Laying on of Hands”

November 2nd, 2008 · 144 Comments

Anthony in Salt Lake City, Utah was a little perplexed when the new lady sharing his cubicle put this little number up. Odder still, he says, “is the fact that this particular wall was originally my half — she took everything I had on that end and moved it to the other side.”

Says anthony: “Apparently she thinks I’m going to poke the Messiah’s high school yearbook picture all day — or maybe the note is what he’s thinking?”

PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF MY BELIEFS DON'T TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

related: So much for turning the other cheek
extra credit: The great and dreadful day of the lord [dooce.com]

Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · office · Salt Lake City · touching · Utah

The most disgusting thing

October 30th, 2008 · 123 Comments

Says filly in New York: “I think it’s safe the assume the writer is neither a) an English major or b) a feminist.”

The most disgusting thing is a nasty lady!!!! How can you use the bathroom and not clean after yourself!!!! Be hygenical [sic] and consider others!!!! Do yourself and the rest of us a favor. Clean up after yourself, you are not at home!!!!!!!!

related: more from the frontlines of post-post feminism

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet

And all the pieces matter

October 28th, 2008 · 88 Comments

“If it wasn’t for the handwriting,” says Lauren in California, “I would have guessed my mom wrote it.”

Meanwhile, Carson in Valencia found this note (crudely laminated with packing tape) attached to a tree while walking his dog in the park. “Maybe next time Maggie will think twice about leaving her ceramic cats unattended,” he says.

And in Seattle…

Hey! Those pots were not FREE! give them back!

“In the pot-snatcher’s defense, people leave furniture and the like on the street all over this area of town as acts of charity, so it definitely would have been an easy mistake for anyone to make,” Josef says, adding: “When I took this picture, the homeowner was glaring at me from the garage the whole time. Bad vibes, man.”

related: Neighborhood Crazy-Watch

Tags: apostrophe abuse · California · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · emdash overboard · garbage · neighbors · rhetorical question · Seattle · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are

The return of Thx Sandra

October 20th, 2008 · 149 Comments

Casey in Human Resources may have moved on, but not to worry — Thx Sandra is here to solve our global climate crysis!

Hello Ladies, This is your friend the thermostat. He likes to be at about 70 degrees in the winter and summer. If you are warm please look behind you and you will see a window. If you open that window fresh air will come in and cool you off. If you are cold you can use a space heater for $3 per week please see Casey in Human Resources if you need to sign up to rent one. Please be aware that our planet is in crysis [sic] and we need to take measures to reduce the trash we throw away and the energy we use (which includes the ceiling fan in Accounting!!!!!) and the recycle bins in the break room. I am sick of being the only conciensios [sic] person here. Thx, Sandra

related: It takes a “genius”

Tags: anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · energy usage · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · recycling · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · temperature · The Earth · thx

Let’s not mince words

October 12th, 2008 · 92 Comments

Our anonymous submitter reports that a certain less-than-collegial colleague had the gall to dash off this note while the perfume-wearer in question was standing at the photocopier less than five feet away. And, our submitter adds: “She did not attempt at all to disguise her handwriting.”

YOUR PERFUME SMELLS LIKE SHIT! WE CAN'T BREATHE!!!

related: Fight or flight

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · more aggressive than passive · odor · office · oh no you didn't

A “discussion” on shoes

October 2nd, 2008 · 108 Comments

My favorite part of this two-page glory? The flash of insight on page 2: “I realize that last sentence is phrased as a question, but really it is more of a statement.”

(flip over for a discussion on shoes)

Shoes...let's get some shoes.

related: care, it makes a difference

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · grow up · high on highlighter · martyr complex · roommates · shoes · spelling and grammar police

Just one question…

September 28th, 2008 · 119 Comments

WHY?!?

Seriously?

Dear Peter, Are you Retarded? Love, Sean

related: Two words: missing tarantula.

Tags: confusion??? · family · food · office · Ontario · signed with love · Texas

Facebook: a place for frenemies

September 19th, 2008 · 124 Comments

In this edition of Facebook Friday…an assortment of cat fights in the making, plucked from the newsfeeds of the innocent Facebookers caught in the crossfire!

Exhibit a)

HOW IS IT YOU CALL TO SEE IF A FRIEND WANTS TO CHILL AND YOU GET BLASTED ON OVER SOME BITCH BULL SHIT! THAT MEANS YOUR BULL SHIT JENNY!

Exhibit b)

Wow never thought you could be shit on by the same two people so many times in a month!! Good Riddance & fuck you!!

Exhibit c)

Jordan is beyond pissed at her retarded roommate (but still loves the other two bundles :) )

The smiley face there is a nice touch, but my favorite this time around has to be this doozy of an about-face (read from the bottom up):

Bryn & Brooke

related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)

extra credit: Like, OMG, PAN is on Facebook?

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · Facebook · frenemies · mean girls · most popular notes of 2008 · smiley

As Davy Crockett once said…

September 8th, 2008 · 146 Comments

I recently returned from a few days in San Antonio, Texas, where my friend Matt and I amused ourselves on the Riverwalk with a competition to find the tackiest souvenir possible in each store within three minutes or less. (My first win: a “pooping armadillo” keychain.) When we entered this fine establishment, however, I had to call a time-out.

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crocket once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

I didn’t even get a chance to take photos of all the signs at this one store — including some amazing ones taped to the register — before I started getting the stink-eye from the manager. (I generally try to stay out of trouble in states that allow their teachers to come to class armed.) I’m telling you, Alamo, Schmalamo: this store was the highlight of my trip.

related: Tourist traps have the best signs

Tags: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · high on highlighter · San Antonio · Texas · touching · tourists

Just doing their part to uphold the reputation of Americans abroad

September 2nd, 2008 · 119 Comments

Edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered UCLA’s study abroad program in Granada, Spain last semester.

UCLA STUDENTS: Do not smear cheese on the hotel's door. Otherwise we will have to pay the extra cleaning costs to the hotel (approximately 30 EUROS for last night's episode!!!!!!) If you plan to celebrate end of classes tonight, do it quietly or else do it outside the hotel. Last night other guests complained about UCLA's noise!!!!

Can you blame them? I mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!

related: Are you proud to be an American?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Americans abroad · cheese · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · noise · Spain