Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'

We all need somebody to hate on

June 4th, 2008 · 152 Comments

“Working in a university library, you get used to a lot of ‘quirky’ personalities,” says our anonymous submitter in Manhattan, Kansas. “So far, this is the only one that has decided to put pathology to paper.”

we all need somebody to hate on

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Kansas · nonsensical spacing · touching

Maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler

June 2nd, 2008 · 142 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this signage at a homemade water park somewhere near Cherry Point, South Carolina.

pool rules

pool rules

related: And pull up your pants

Tags: crazypants · sex sex sex · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police · swimming pool · unnecessary "quotation marks" · you know who you are

It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

May 28th, 2008 · 353 Comments

Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.

The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”

Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)

TO THE MEN WHO ARE USING THE "WOMENS" LADIES ROOM

HELLO LADIES Potluck is on Friday!!!!!! The theme is Mongolia BBQ and I will be bringing ribs and hats if you would like one please let me know. Please sign up below for what you would like to bring. If you don't want to "bring" something but still want to eat potluck then please pay $5 to Casey in Human Resources. Some ideas of what to bring are fortune cookies, paper plates, fruit cups, things with no sugar because some ppl are diabetic, to, shrimp, salad, rice, diet drinks because some people like them to. Some things not to bring are cake and forks because we have some leftovers for the birthday potluck. Please sign below and say what you are going to bring!!!!!!! If you have an idea for a theme please talk to Casey in Human Resources. Thx, Sandra

I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…

Hello ladies, This is the last time I will remind you: If you have to "throw up" please do it in the trash can. Then take the bag out of the trash can and dispose of it down-stairs in the "facilities" dumpster are pipes are old and can't handle "big jobs" like "throw up." Please also don't flush wrappers and trash papers etc because you can just use the trash can!!!!!!!!! Thx, Sandra

related: The return of Thx Sandra!

Tags: bathroom · battle of the sexes · blitzkrieg approach · California · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · office cop · party planning committee · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · thx · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks" · vomit · You call that punctuation?

Maybe it’s time for Sally Struthers to get involved

May 14th, 2008 · 140 Comments

With finals and thesis deadlines coming up, stress levels among grad students at UC-Berkeley have been running high (which means attention to the finer points of, say, apostrophe use, are running low). And now there’s a lunch thief on the loose!

Taking food is a penal code violation and we have reported these thefts to the cops.

Sadly, says our submitter, the note’s multi-pronged approach (guilt, threats, helpful advice) seems to have had no effect; the lunch thief remains at large. The next course of action? “We’re considering planting laxative-laced desserts.”

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Berkeley · California · college life · food · fridge · kitchen · preggers · stealing · the homeless · warning

Stop! In the name of clip art.

April 15th, 2008 · 80 Comments

Like this phrase, there are a few irritating little pieces of clip art that keep popping up in submissions over and over again. Hovering somewhere near the top of most-wanted list is this pouty little white-gloved dandy.

From the factories of Pittsburgh…

STOP TAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR FREEZER IF IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!

…to the cube-farms of Virginia, this perspiring misanthrope has been spreading his message of intolerance with impunity.

But, once again, it’s a note from a church bathroom (this one spotted by Jess in Boston) that really pushes things to a whole new level of divine didacticism.

No! Stop!

Can I get a witness?!

related: clip art crimes

Tags: bathroom · Boston · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · neighbors · office fridge · Pittsburgh

The fruitcake’s in the mail

April 15th, 2008 · 99 Comments

“Not long before I left my previous job writing reviews of video games, I got this little gem from someone involved in the production of a game I didn’t exactly care for,” Alex says. “Game-makers bitching about reviews is nothing new, but rarely do they do it with as much sarcastic flair as this one does.”

the fruitcake's in the mail

related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

Tags: apostrophe abuse · e-mail · holiday spirit · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)

Shittiest secret admirer ever?

April 10th, 2008 · 154 Comments

“My roommate thinks I took her dry erase board when I was 40 miles away the week it was taken,” says an anonymous college student in Tampa, Florida. “She has been leaving me notes like this ALL YEAR.”

God help our poor submitter, but I’m nominating this crazy rainbow of a note for the passive-aggressive hall of fame. (Prize: a year’s worth of anger-management therapy?)

You don't know me...and to be honest I don't think you want to...but there is an issue that I need to address with you...and I'm not gonna be passive-aggressie about it. It has come to my attention that you have taken the white board that I gave Emily!!! And that angers me!!! I am not a child and I don't play childish games so let me put this as simply as I can...don't take shit that doesn't belong to you!!! I am writing this to you telling you to give Emily her shit back before I have to take matters into my own hands and get people involved that don't need to be in this...The next step in this little game is to go to our housing authority and I don't think you really want them to know about your skeeze-ball boyfriend living with you...or having to deal with the penalties and fines that come along with your ignorant acts! So stop being a cunt and give us the board back immediately. Thanks :) Your Secret Admirer

related: Which one of these is not like the other?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2008 · not-so-veiled threats · oh the irony · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · stealing · whiteboard

A lesson in crime

March 30th, 2008 · 58 Comments

Finding funny-haha Engrish signs in Japan is almost too easy, but Biella from New York didn’t settle for cheap laughs during her trip. “Your English is good,” one might say, but this club’s “advisory” about the Tokyo police is pure paranoiac gold.

a lesson in crime

extra credit: Uniformed vigilantes patrol tokyo streets to intimidate slackers [boingboing.net]

Tags: Clearly a non-native English speaker · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · Tokyo

What, no bubble letters?

March 26th, 2008 · 98 Comments

Cameron in Hyde Park, New York brings us this “maybe not-so-classic dorm dispute: girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy has girlfriend, girl obsesses over boy, boy’s female neighbors post rejection note from boy to girl, girl…threatens neighbors, artistically.”

MIND YOUR BUSINESS, BITCH!

Tags: college life · danger · disturbingly detailed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · MYOB · spurned lover

I’m pregnant…what’s your excuse?

March 23rd, 2008 · 100 Comments

Amanda in Fairhaven, Mass. recently took her sister-in-law in for an ultrasound appointment, and was a little frightened by this sign. (It was posted in three places, both inside and outside the restroom.)

IF YOU ARE HAVING AN ULTRASOUND PLEASE DO NOT EMPTY YOUR BLADDER THIS MEANS YOU!!!

related: Bun — er, pizza in the oven

Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Massachusetts · piss · preggers