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Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'

I’m pregnant…what’s your excuse?

March 23rd, 2008 · 100 Comments

Amanda in Fairhaven, Mass. recently took her sister-in-law in for an ultrasound appointment, and was a little frightened by this sign. (It was posted in three places, both inside and outside the restroom.)

IF YOU ARE HAVING AN ULTRASOUND PLEASE DO NOT EMPTY YOUR BLADDER THIS MEANS YOU!!!

related: Bun — er, pizza in the oven

Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Massachusetts · piss · preggers

My secretary, Sybil

March 19th, 2008 · 126 Comments

Dan spotted this triple-bonus-score of a note at the desk of a receptionist in MTV’s New York office. The craziest part, he says? “She leaves it up there all the time, just in case she calls in sick. It’s just up there, all day, in her face, reaffirming her violent disapproval for people invading her personal space.”

my secretary, sybil

related: where angels fear to spit

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · overzealous secretary · touching

Stop, Hammertime!

February 26th, 2008 · 84 Comments

So, after seeing this note from Daily Piglet in Columbia, South Carolina:

DO NOT TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT EVER!!!

And this one, from Anna in Providence, Rhode Island:

Do Not Touch! Ever!!!!

And this doozy from an anonymous San Francisco office worker…

DON'T TOUCH!!!! DON'T TOUCH!!!

Is it any wonder that this photo from afroswede‘s flickrstream (and others) came to mind?

can’t touch this

(Meanwhile, over at bethany’s “blog”…u can touch this.)

related: Can I lick it?

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Providence · San Francisco · South Carolina · temperature · touching

Over and Over – The Warning (Passive-aggressive Remix)

February 21st, 2008 · 156 Comments

Laid back? I’ll give you laid back. In fact, I’ll spell it out for you: Janice will break your legs.

I'm tired of it  no more smoking for no one not at all but me and my room is no smoking room or using me for a place to smoke your cigarettes at no more my room is my room and no one else's room so don't demand me what to do in my room either Janice

(Thanks to Peter in Milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)

related: Be informed, Homeland Security will be

Tags: crazypants · Milwaukee · pure poetry · Say wha? · smoking · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?

Infinite note project

February 15th, 2008 · 86 Comments

Faydra in Gainesville, Florida lives in an apartment complex she describes as “a step above dorm living” — 85 females total, all of them coming and going at all hours. Faydra’s next-door neighbors kicked things off (with the most frightening clip art extravaganza ever) and things devolved from there. In chronological order:

infinite note project

infinite note project

infinite note project

related: A fancy feast

Tags: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · neighbors · noise · rebuttals · smiley

Where angels fear to spit

February 13th, 2008 · 69 Comments

From an anonymous heathen in Washington, D.C.:

Dear Those Who LOITER/SMOKE in THIS PARTICULAR HALLWAY: This is not a place where you can place your trash!!! People actually live here, believe it or not, and frankly, we're sick and tired of cleaning up after grown people who can go outside and do their business !!!!!!! The last thing people who actually work and have a life in this APARTMENT BULIDING [sic] WANT TO SEE WHEN THEY COME HOME IS ASHES, CIGARETTE BUTTS AND SALIVA (OR SPIT, FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT READ) IN THIS HALLWAY!!!! GO AWAY AND DO YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE, WE'RE VERY SICK AND TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU!!! BE A ROACH AND A HEATHEN SOMEWHERE ELSE. Dutifully, Disgruntled Resident

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: bold underlined italics · D.C. · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · obnoxious definition · smoking · spelling and grammar police · spitting

There’s Hertz…and there’s “not exactly”

February 10th, 2008 · 50 Comments

Thanks to Rusty in Decatur, Georgia, who spotted this lovely exchange on the door of his apartment complex’s parking garage.

there's hertz...and there's

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · oh snap · parking · rebuttals

Landmine in my bloodline

February 8th, 2008 · 110 Comments

Nothing could have prepared Lauren in Oakland for the passive-aggressive avalanche that awaited her the other day at her new apartment. She calls the experience of finding the notes totally surreal. “It keeps playing back in slow motion in my mind, from the second I saw the first one hanging over the threshold to my absolute horror and delight at finding an eleventh one hours later on the bathroom door.” Here’s the theme park version!

“I’m not sure anything in particular prompted it,” Lauren says, “but I live, apparently, in some kind of alternate dimension where full-grown adults believe in chore-wheels, so it could’ve been anything — but certainly not ELEVEN things to correspond with the number of found notes. Then again, I’m not a timebomb waiting to explode, so how would I know?”

related: recipe for roommate discord

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · ellipses-crazed · Oakland · roommates · spelling and grammar police

From the Zagat Guide to Threatening Signage

January 31st, 2008 · 88 Comments

“Beware,” indeed: Walking along “West 25th or so” in Manhattan, this “work of art” was enough to make Eric “personally” “shit his pants.”

extra credit: The Zagat history of my last relationship [The New Yorker]

Tags: New York · not-so-veiled threats · unnecessary "quotation marks"

If we give up our exclamation points, the terrorists win!!!

January 30th, 2008 · 62 Comments

“The tiny Sioux City, Iowa airport had a jaw-droppingly comprehensive intro to what one could or could not take on board a plane,” reports Timoni from San Francisco, including actual sample-sized bottles of toiletries taped up, show-and-tell style. “The corker, though, was this vehement note near the end (which, yes, had a plastic QUART-SIZE BAG!!!!!!!!! taped underneath).”

You need to separate your QUART SIZE BAG and have it X-RAYED BY IT'S SELF!!!!!!!!!

related: If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge

Tags: airport · apostrophe abuse · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Sioux City · spelling and grammar police