Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'

This means you!!!

May 31st, 2007 · 16 Comments

From Amy in Ocean Pines, Maryland, who explains: “I have had a problem with the people I live with (namely my husband and sister) who do not understand the concept that a dryer full of lint is a fire hazard [!!!]”

Clean the filter before starting dryer! I am sick of telling people!

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · family · Maryland

I swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign

May 29th, 2007 · 33 Comments

…but Hot Pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.

Exhibit a: New York City

To Whoever stole my "Hot Pocket": It's not done and not nice :(

Exhibit b: Southern Oregon

Dear Hot Pocket Thief! Stop stealing it's wrong & I'm hungry with no lunch!!! Thanks

Exhibit c: Washington, D.C.

To the individual whom [sic] stole the hotpockets! They did not belong to you! By you consuming said hotpockets you have committed a theft! This shall not be tolerated!

Exhibit d: Oahu, Hawaii

Tried to steal hot pockets

Thanks to Beth at Columbia and DJ Shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.

Tags: excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · office fridge · sad face · spelling and grammar police · stealing · unnecessary "quotation marks" · whiteboard

You left evidence.

May 28th, 2007 · 19 Comments

Don’t be fooled by the smiley: this is the kind of note that really throws you off balance. (It’s been more than a month since she received this note, and Kiki from Boston says she’s still shaking in her boots a little.)

Hey You! Look — I know you ate some of my Smart Balance. You left evidence. Stealing is rude! Next time — ask. I'm ok with sharing y'know. :) Amy

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

Tags: Boston · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · office · office fridge · smiley · stealing

The Mad Bomber, Act 3: We are watching you

May 25th, 2007 · 55 Comments

If you missed them, catch  up with Act 1 and Act 2 of the Mad Bomber saga. Here, the  (somewhat anti-climactic) conclusion:

Through some help of our members and some tracking we now know who has been making the messes in the women's toilets. We know who you are! We are watching you and will catch you in the act. When this happens you will be prosecuted for destruction of property, attempting to harm our business and the cost we have gone through to clean up after you. Its [sic] time to bring this to an end!!!

It appears that season one of this series concludes with a dramatic cliffhanger ending. Will the Mad Bomber be caught in the act? Will Richard G. Sells post another notice outing the bomber for public humiliation and condemnation? We can only hope.

Tags: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · toilet

Next time, go for the Fiji?

May 24th, 2007 · 11 Comments

This fiendishly funny note comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Philly, who does not condone the theft of bottled water of any kind.

To the fiend that took my Deer Park water which was frozen solid out of the freezer in the door tip shelf!!!

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · oh snap · stealing · water

Be curtius

May 23rd, 2007 · 8 Comments

The stolen item in question here? A serving of creamer.

If something dose [sic] not belong to you, do not take it!!!!

Tags: clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · group bitchfest · office · office fridge · spelling and grammar police · stealing

The Mad Bomber, Act 2: Please stay seated during the entire performance

May 23rd, 2007 · 34 Comments

If you missed it, Act 1 is where this saga begins. Here, we see Richard G. Sell’s frustration grow to a fever pitch…

WE ARE TIRED OF THIS!!!!!! Let it be known by all of our female members that the staff of the Lawrence Athletic Club are tired of cleaning up after the MAD BOMBER.

And it continues with Act 3

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · not-so-veiled threats · shit · toilet

The Mad Bomber, Act 1: “Sorry about the language”

May 22nd, 2007 · 36 Comments

I don’t want to oversell this, but the following series of three signs (sent in by a health-club patron who wishes to remain nameless) just became my new all-time favorite. I love so many things about Richard G. Sells’s first masterpiece (below) that I don’t even know where to begin.

Twice someone has crapped all over the wall, back of the toilet, under the toilet, on the seat, under the seat, and on the floor without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool [sic] itself.

The best part, I think, might be the Freudian slip mid-way through (“…without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool itself.”)

But it doesn’t end there! Read acts 2 and 3.

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · shit

And/or random things

May 22nd, 2007 · 11 Comments

Such a perfect little hat trick at the end of this note (submitted by Laura in Baltimore) — the four exclamation points, the heart, the “thx.”

Please refrain from leaving piles of work and/or random things on my chair when I'm away! It makes me want to poke my eyes out!!!

Tags: Baltimore · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · heart · office · thx

Some legionnaire’s idea of epigrammatic wit

May 21st, 2007 · 10 Comments

I realize this example (from outside the American Legion HQ in Park Slope, Brooklyn) is not so much “passive-aggressive” as it is “crazy,” but it tickles me too much not to post. The little species/feces couplet has been painted over and re-written at least twice, so obviously I’m not the only one who appreciated it.

CONDEMNED NO LITTERING. Dump no garbage here. Join the human species - don't dump - even feces!

DO NOT LITTER. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

You can’t tell from these photos, but this little storefront stands as one of the few bastions on Fifth Avenue that the armies of invading gentrifiers couldn’t take down with their industrial-size nozzles of mrs. meyer’s and turn into a precious little bakery selling organic dog cupcakes. While I was taking these photos a man in a lawn chair was either yelling at me to stop or trying to sell me a ratty old suitcase.

Tags: Brooklyn · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · more aggressive than passive · Park Slope · shit