Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'

The tale of Tony Q69

July 26th, 2011 · 77 Comments

Janine in Astoria was at a stoplight next to a Q69 bus stop in Queens when she noticed signs reading “TONY Q69″ taped all over the outside and inside of the bus shelter. “I made my boyfriend pull over so I could read it,” she says — and got a photo, so she could share Tony Q69′s shameful story with the rest of the world.

TONY Q69. YOU TONY are the only one who should feel sorry over what happened!! YOU ARE THE MARRIED MAN who was only looking to get sex from me without any strings attached!! You don't know how to give a woman REAL attention, or to call, or to have a real friendship because this is not your intentions to do so! You also use your Q-69 JOB to flirt with all the woman every day!! You are also a smooth talker & a flirt on the phone! And how dare you blame me for anything, especially for wanting attention! I am a single woman & deserve a trusting man in my life!

UPDATE: Greg in Astoria has spotted another note to Tony Q69…

TONY Q69: You Tony, are the only one who should feel guilt over what happened!!! You are the married man who was looking to get sex from me without any strings attached! You can't give a woman real attention or call her to have a real friendship because this was not your true intentions! You were looking for sex period! And you use your job to flirt with women all day on the Q69!!!

As has Adam

TONY Q69: You Tony are the only one who should feel guilty and sorry over what happened! You are the married man who was looking to get some from a woman!!! Your agenda was to have SEX with no strings attached!!! You can't give what a woman needs which is attention, to be called + to have a real friendship/relationship!!!!!! You were out to satisfy yourself period and then walk away like they all do!! And how dare you blame me for anything especially for wanting attention! How Could You!

And Rebecca!

TONY Q69. YOU TONY are the only one who should feel sorry over what happened!! YOU ARE THE MARRIED MAN who was only looking to get sex from me without any strings attached!!

UPDATE: The Tony Q-69 Saga Continues!

Tags: ex drama · excessive capitalization · exclamation-point happy!!!! · public shaming · public transit · Queens

Lord of the Laundry Room

June 21st, 2011 · 298 Comments

I’m probably more than a little biased when it comes to determining whether or not Alan in Seattle — the writer of the note below and self-appointed Lord of the Laundry Room — is, in fact, an ass.

For one, even though I know the scent of fresh laundry is actually thanks to evil chemical compounds and not “mountain breeze” or “spring rain,” I still kinda love it. Of course, I don’t live in an apartment directly above a laundry room. Instead, I live in an apartment surrounded by chain smokers. And while I hardly enjoy the smell of cigarettes, I’ve managed to deal without threatening to confiscate my neighbors’ Marlboros and replace them with bottles of bubble solution. (I also keep my windows shut.)

What say you, troublemakers? Is Alan wrong? Or is he just an asshole?

Hello all...I am again asking for everyone to discontinue using any scented products in the laundry room. I live right above and the laundry room and the synthetic cheap

related: You’re not wrong, Walter

Tags: ellipses-crazed · laundry · neighbors · odor · Seattle

Beware of argumentative farm animals!

June 19th, 2011 · 63 Comments

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

Attention Neighbours!!!!!!! There is a discussing [sic] PIG among us. Someone is leaving bags and bags of garbage in our hallway and stairwell. This has been recurring in the last few weeks and must be stopped! These bags were large garbage bags that were fully, smelly, and already had flies coming from them. Whoever you are, I am watching out for you! And now, so too will your neighbours! You should be ashamed of yourself! If you are this dirty, I am sure your apartment is also a reflection of that. I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN THIS BUILDING, THAT WE DON'T WANT FLIES, COCROCHES [sic] OR ANY BUGS ASSOCIATED WITH IMPROPER HYGENE [sic]! Or people like you! GROW UP! Signed, A responsible member of society!!!!!!

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · grow up · hygiene · neighbors · odor · public shaming · spelling and grammar police

Colonel Mustard? Meet Major Peteve.

June 9th, 2011 · 71 Comments

“As far as I know,” says Meagan in Ohio, “my boss, an early-40s white lady named Sandee, is a native English speaker.” I made sure to double-check with Meaghan on this, because, well — just read the thing.

As everyone knows major peteve of mine open wine bottles in cooler goes in a certain spot.

As Meagan points out, her boss “does not seem to understand that the pet peeve is the thing you shouldn’t do…or that ‘peteve’ is not a thing…or really, anything. How could you hit ‘print’ on this?”

Except to underline the fact that Meagan’s place of employment is a winery — one where open bottles of wine seem have to have a tendency to be strewn about willy-nilly — I must say I have no idea.

related: My pet peeve

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · now that's management · spelling and grammar police · WTF? · You call that punctuation?

Caught in the act

May 23rd, 2011 · 89 Comments

This bulletin board display from Louisville, Kentucky comes to us via Annie in Colorado, who adds: “I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor dogs caught popping a squat!” (Don’t worry, Annie. As you can see, I’ve taken steps to protect the identities of the canines pictured.)

Maybe it’s the classic crazypants handwriting, but I when I try to envision the creator of this display, the first image that comes to mind is one of those cop-show scenes where they bust in and find a room obsessively wallpapered with photos and maps and newspaper clippings documenting some big (or in this case, not so big) conspiracy theory.

But who knows? Maybe this guy is starting a new fetish mag and just wants to track down these dogs to pay their modeling fees or…something.

DO YOU KNOW THESE DOGS??? 8337 GT. HAS NO DOGS YET THESE DOGS ARE POOPING AROUND THIS ADDRESS. [Response:] GET A LIFE!!!

related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica

Tags: confusion??? · crazypants · dogs · Louisville · neighbors · rebuttals · shit · visual aids

Are you ready for your Rapture party?

May 20th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Stephanie in Kansas City, Missouri found this warning posted on the fridge after lunch today:

Whoever eat [sic] my pizza today....remember Rapture is coming tomorrow!!!!

Around the same time, this note showed up on an office coffee-maker in Washington, D.C.:

This machine is out of service. Ordinarily, we would have called for technical support. However, given the impending end of the world, we felt that was unnecessary. If the world is still here on Monday, technical support will be called then.

Meanwhile, Ashley in Greenville, North Carolina forwards this example of a veiled threat, atheist-style:

Every time you leave the soap in the sink Richard Dawkins prays to Jesus...

related: Remember, God is watching you!

Tags: bathroom · coffee · D.C. · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · Kansas City · North Carolina · pizza · roommates · soap · stealing · washing your hands

So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

May 4th, 2011 · 199 Comments

Our submitter in North Dakota, an instructor at one of the state’s institutions of higher learning, found this note left behind by a student in one of her English Composition classes. “We had begun meeting in a computer lab two classes prior,” she writes, “something which had been announced at the beginning of the classes leading up to the room switch as well as on the syllabus.”

But you know, “nobody likes to have to dig your syllabus out.” That’s like, a total drag, dude!

[Prof. redacted],  I showed up to class today and no one was there. Where was class?!?! You need to make announcement when you are changing the location of the class!!! No one likes to have to dig your syllabus out every day or check their e-mail for your last minute changes. I DID show up today and you have to count my paper as ON TIME. Please email me with an explanation.

Seriously, kids today(!!!)

related: The “feeling of failing” debacle

extra credit: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower,” by Professor X [theatlantic.com]

Tags: college life · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2011 · North Dakota · spelling and grammar police · that's disrespectful

Your not narmal, Sneeky

April 17th, 2011 · 115 Comments

Tina in Jacksonville, Florida was in the process of moving out of her current apartment — apparently not a moment too soon — when she spotted this note on the door of her downstairs’ neighbor.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the content of this note (as best as I can follow it) or the truly sic spelling and punctuation. Altogether, it just kinda freaks me out.

Your not Narmal, Sneeky

So thanks, Tina, for giving me another reason to avoid what is probably my least-favorite state. (Not that I don’t cherish my time with you in Clearwater, Grandma Cookie!!!)

related: If it’s on Jersey Shore, it’s not coming through the door

Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · crazypants · Jacksonville · most popular notes of 2011 · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · WTF? · your/you're

Bad dog! Stop that! Right now!

March 31st, 2011 · 50 Comments

When I read this landlord’s note…

AHEM..."SOMEONE" KEEPS LEAVING THIS DOOR OPEN. THIS IS VERY, VERY BAD!! STOP THAT!! RIGHT NOW!! THE MANAGEMENT THANKS YOU.

…this is roughly the image that came to mind:

Stop that! Right now!

Anyone else?

related: And you thought college students were foul…

Tags: a little patronizing · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · opening/closing · sad face · smiley

Mother of hair? Is that like mother of pearl?

February 18th, 2011 · 69 Comments

I’ll admit it: I had to read this note and the accompanying explanation about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower drain.

Dear Mother of Hair Baby, Please take care of your disgusting little child, I'm tired of seeing it. I don't care if you love it with all your heat, I don't want to see it. If you care for it so much take the little varment [sic] to your room & care for it there. Your Truly, Disgusted

But speaking of babies…as Massimo noticed, this Boston-area Walgreens is apparently hoping to capitalize on your drunken New Years/Valentine’s Day sexual escapades. (Or else they’re just really, really curious?????)

BABIES????????????? FIND OUT HERE!!

related: Please clean ALL your feathers.

extra credit: The incredible hair baby of Manchester [Dailymail.co.uk]

Tags: college life · confusion??? · hair · most popular notes of 2011 · preggers · shower · that's disgusting · WTF?